technically I do not give feedback anymore, but you asked for an opinion and didn't get any yet on this particular mix.
I've listened to the song twice: Beyerdynamic DT990 and PC Speakers. From first listen, it is a drastic deviation from what you initially provided. You've removed the "fantasy strings" part and set off right with the synthetic material, while also changing the BPM and introducing percussive elements. Definitely an interesting approach. Also I'm instantly reminded of Ben Prunty's work with this overhauled entry (which does go a bit away from sci-fi 4X strategy, but still remains in the general area)
Mix wise (and I just checked with your SoundCloud version and the WAV from the post I'm quoting), I consider the percussive work (which is borderline too much snare work, see premise) a bit loud on both versions, especially the snare in the final part. And in certain sections (like towards the last third), you go a bit too hard on the compressor for the whole beat section. I would have maybe added a bit more low-end, because even on my DT990 (which have way too much bass), things sound a bit "thin". Which isn't bad per se, mind you. Just something to look out for as general listening experience. Also, the transition around 3:07 was a bit weird in the WAV version, as if this was a rendering glitch (this is not present in the SoundCloud version). Loudness wise, the SoundCloud version feels more quiet (and a bit more upper mids for that matter, except for the intro percussion). Although my ears could fool me - been listening to so much audio content the last couple of days. Didn't run either version through a loudness analysis yet.
On small PC speakers, the intro part is really nice, but once you introduce the percussion section at 1:47, it cuts through a bit too much. Also, while you can easily hear the synth bass and all, you have no feeling of "oomph" (lowend) so to speak... this is better in of SoundCloud version compared to the WAV from 22-JUL-2021. Still a bit much in places in both versions.
Overall - I like the new rendition. It is a bit "mid-heavy" on small speaker drivers, and could have a bit more "Low-end" feeling on large speakers (but not drowning). It is a night-and-day production change however. Great work!
And now I want to play some "FTL" or "Into the Breach"
PS: A minor detail and not a point for disqualification (but definitely for bonus points). Your filename is SWC47 instead of SWC047.