2024-MAR-01 Info: Check out Songwriting Competition 079 if you're into "Synthwave" music making.

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
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Mister Fox
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#31

Post by Mister Fox »

Let us kick off the VOTING PROCESS, which will end on Tuesday, 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST latest


There is a GLOBAL COUNTDOWN to check for deadlines.
Just follow this link: Global Countdown (on homepage)



Here is the collection of productions from all participants (in hope that I didn't forget anyone). As usual, if you click on the small upwards-arrow right beside the quoted name, you can jump to the original post and read up on the documentation for this production.


.
TrojakEW wrote:
Sat Sep 21, 2019 15:55 CEST
"Invisible Power"

gruskada wrote:
Sun Sep 22, 2019 04:44 CEST
"Deprecated"

] Peter:H [ wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 21:18 CEST
"Heilung" (engl. Healing)

WAV: https://www.dropbox.com/s/plw6q20xgt9no ... g.wav?dl=0

INFORMATION: it is recommended to listen to the production on headphones due to binaural elements
donkey tugger wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 22:45 CEST
"The road down to the sea"

MP3: http://www.bennyleeds7.myfreeola.uk/swc ... he-sea.mp3
ryanc wrote:
Tue Sep 24, 2019 06:38 CEST
"Red and Grey"

WAV: https://www.dropbox.com/s/ee6uv75w2khbz ... y.wav?dl=0
Olli H wrote:
Tue Sep 24, 2019 17:27 CEST
”Evil Eye”

MP3: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1yyE9s ... iEbvigKiQI
MarkS wrote:
Tue Sep 24, 2019 20:16 CEST
"Days come & go"

WAV: https://www.dropbox.com/s/brakcw5sk8bx5 ... o.wav?dl=0


Honorable Entries ("disqualified" or "submitted after the deadline")
NateWycoff wrote:
Mon Sep 16, 2019 05:56 CEST
"Fake it"



WAV: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Xyb8L ... nLGzNoH14k

INFORMATION: originally released 31 May 2018, resubmitted 16th September.
This entry is sadly violating the known rules (please take note of the Rules and Guidelines), and has been disqualified for the overall voting process
.


Please consult the last post of how your vote could look like (which links to more sources). And to make it simple for me for counting the votes - please use the forum usernames in your listing. Thank you!

To make it easier on yourself, and more helpful for each participant, maybe focus on the overall production value. What you really liked with the song, what you'd like to see improved, etc.

SWC025 participants giving feedback to each other (to every participant) and casting your Top 8 vote is mandatory, else you will be disqualified.


Good luck to all participants! :tu:
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canese
Posts: 94
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Location: <3 of SouthAmerica

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#32

Post by canese »

Hello, good entries this month. Hope you take my feedback in consideration and I'm sorry in advance for my bad english.


DoctorBob_Relax Your Mind

Very good song, in some parts, I felt like I was in a deep relaxing session. Other parts have a lot of things going on, so I have to paid more attention to it. It goes well with the theme. But I think it a lacks a story in the melodies and the energy keeps the same the throught the song and becomes long. In the mix, everything is where it should be, perfect paning and balance. Master also very professional. I like the deep vocal bass synth, the piano was awsome but Strings sound was not bright and felt lost in the mix.

TrojakEW_Invisible Power

I love it. It has what it takes to be a hit now days. Reminds me of hippie sabbotage. I think it fits with the theme, I felt like I was hearing something new and understood something about me also at the same time. Only thing it's too short, I was expecting more but it ended. The drum groove with the piano it's perfect, I like when the piano plays a rhythm role. The melodies are simple but with a lot of emotion and they stay in your head. Mix is done like it should be, very neat and with dynamics.

gruskada - Deprecated"

Excellent piece! I hear some power metal inspirations and I love how you made your guitar sing, like it was telling us something. Only remark for me its the song structure, all the energy it's at the begining. Good melodies and counterpoing with the guitars and bass. Mixing maybe could be improved. The overall balance and panning didn't help me understand everything the instruments were trying to tell me. Also drums are very sharp and have a lot of reverb that distracts the flow.

PeterH - Heilung

Great work here! I always wonder how one can manage to achieve an ethereal and melodic sound with many timbres going in and out. It certainly requieres a lot of skill to know when a sound should enter and what it has to say. This songs does this very well. I felt I was meditating but sometimes felt little distrubing and uncomfortable, but those things occur also while meditating. I didn't catch the songstructure, but I think it fits the purpose of this song and has the energy flowing from begining to end. mixing Is okay, but i was expecting something more psychodellic like loong reverbs and delays, some chorus or phasers and detuning.

donkey tugger - "The road down to the sea"

Lot of emotions in this song. The melodies and lyrics are great. I felt it more like a love story and didn't quite express the monthly theme in the sensations I was getting. Love the guitars and voice playing togheter in the verses, they could have made the entire song all alone. Song structure was 10/10, has everything: intro, outro, interludes. The storytelling has a nice pace, taking the right time to address all the parts of the song. Only thing is, I was expecting a more organic sound in the choruses. Drum kick doesn't seem to fit, as well as the electric guitar tone, Synths are okay, but they are dispensable IMHO.

Ryanc_RedandGray

OMG! Got goosebumps from this song. Felt like I was speaking to myself and the final part was heavenly. Harmony and voice melodies does a pretty good job. Voice melody in the chorus is unique and it's awesome!. Hollywood songstructure make this a perfect tune for radio, only lacks a final chorus after the bridge, but then it would be too long. Voice processing is perfect, what it's your effect chain? I would love to know. Overall balance also is good. Only remark is for the drums. In the first verse they feel so little, and in the chorus they are huge (snare it's a little too loud). I think drums from something like "imagine dragons - believer" would fit more with the song.

OlliH-EvilEye

Nice song, not sure if it the style fits well with the theme but has nice balance and groove. It gave me more a happygolucky feeling. Song structure is nice, the chorus hits in the perfect spot and has a lot of energy. Drums feel a little robotic maybe layering it with a organic record of a drum set would help. Guitars also are very good!

MarkS - "Days come & go"

Nice, I love it! Good groove, fits well into the house style and made me want to get up and dance. I think it fits somewhere in the monthly theme, just because I think when you dance you also find yourself and helps you to calm inner self. Maybe it lacks some melody, and a more structured counterpoint (relationship within the different melodies). Songstructure is good. Mixing is also very good, only some of the synths are to harsh and loud, but the bass and drums are perfectly married.

Vote:
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Olli H
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#33

Post by Olli H »

PeterH
Film music? Coherent experience. This produced lot of images within me.

DoctorBob
Nice healing song. Here and there it feels a bit chaotic, maybe with purpose. Maybe this is a mental Four Seasons where weather is changing all the time. I miss an underlying umifying element or mode.

Ryanc
I like how the word ”Dark” opens the song. I like the melody very much. Start of the chorus is probably too similar to verse. But later chorus has some nice hooks. Piano comes in nicely after first chorus.

TrojakEW
Interesting intro. I like the stuff what’s happening behind, and the groove of drums works fine. But drums and other insturments don’t make a pair to me, but on the other hand the I’m not used to listen modern genres with modern drums.

gruskada
I love that song name. I’m still working but old enough to be called ”Depreceated”. Each part works very nicely as such, but I get lost during the song. There’s plenty of ideas, but I miss some sort of unifying cord.

Canese
Ambience. Coherent. Stereo field feels nice. Solo instruments have nice misty focus. Development nicely gives hints what to listen in each point. I’m not lost, I’m guided.

donkeyt
Great song. Song could start directly with guitar. Intro feels a bit added.
For some reason Guy Clark and Nick Lowe comes to my mind. Both of them are big names to me.
I think the arrangement is suitable for this song.

MarkS
I like that bass riff. It glues togetheer the whole song.
For some reason the groove doesn’t work for me. Main reason is probably that ticking closed hi-hat-sound. As if there’s no velocity changes.

Nathaniel Roland
Nice song. I like the minimalistic touch. Melody line could have more variations.
I think it would be better without that double voice, now it sounds like an duetto. If other voice is meant to enhance (in the Beatles style), not to be duet, it should be aligned better to the main voice. But those parts where it’s harmony, it’s much better.
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gruskada
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#34

Post by gruskada »

DoctorBob - "Relax Your Mind"

Great sounds overall. The middle eastern(?) vocals seem out of place to me, though. I like the piano motif that starts at 0:16. My favorite part is 0:48 - 1:50. I like how the theme devolves, and tension builds. The dissonance over happy theme reminds me of film queues that let you know something is not right :-) I'm not a fan of the drum sounds - they are too thin and fake sounding. Around 2:30 reminds me a lot of Enigma - not a bad thing. The constant pads get distracting. Maybe stop them and bring them back at certain points for effect. Overall, the song is relaxing, but it never seems to fully find its groove. Really solid entry, though.


TrojakEW - "Invisible Power"

The vocal parts are really cool - it almost has a brassy feel to it, like it starts out as a vocal, but morphs into a horn in parts. I really like the instrumentation as well. The hip hop-style drums make this seem like the background to a rap track at first, and the lack of strong melody doesn't help. Production sounds great to me. Overall, really nice, though I'm not really getting the "calming the inner turmoil" feel.


PeterH - "Heilung"

I like the static in the intro, and the "dropping marbles on the floor" delay/echo is very cool. The bird sound effects work extremely well. Calming, but disturbing at the same time. The effect on "breathe" sounds like a frog, and really detracts from the mood of the song. This is then followed by a "Taco Bell" sound, which is unfortunate, because it works otherwise. The track reminds me a lot of Vangelis, both in the synths and drums. I think the track achieves the desired effect, aside from a few elements that come in too hot and are a bit jarring (bell at 5:15 almost made me jump. Some drum sounds are pretty loud near the end as well). I think there is bad distortion at beginning - especially at and around 0:53, 1:28? Sorry, I didn't pick up on the binaural elements, though my main reference for this is a binaural piano that sounded so real it was disturbing.


Donkey Tugger - "Road Down to the Sea"

I really like the intro fx (how do you make these sounds?), and how it blends into a single note, followed by the melancholy guitar - really well put together. Maybe just a little too much reverb on vocals, noticeable at the start of the piece. 2:00 - nice buildup, followed by more intensity at 2:21. For some reason, the word, "'round" really bothers me (vs. "around"). I like the "rap" at 4:14 - doesn't sound goofy at all, like it easily could have if handled differently. "You knew I'd make the grade" made me teary. At 4:40 the song really hits its stride - awesome. Overall, really nice balance of tension and calmness. One thing that bugged me on my car stereo is that the kick drum absolutely booms. It's fine on my headphones, though. I like the quality and tone of your voice - you sound exhausted, but full of energy at the same time. It's evident that a lot of care and emotion went into this track. I love it, and have had it on repeat just to listen to it.


RyanC - "Red and Grey"

Great intro - I love how the notes converge, then abruptly change into bass line / vocals. So cool. Then, swirling organs come in, and really great bg vocals. The chorus works really well, too. Really smooth transition, though the dissonance between the vocals and the rest of the instruments at 1:44 is grating. Electric guitars at 2:56 are a nice touch to make the 2nd chorus more interesting. The instrumental break at ~3:49 favorite part. After that, though, the song really bothers me. The lyrics at the end sound contrived, though the mini guitar solo is nice.


Olli H - "Evil Eye"

I like the almost whispering quality of the vocals at the start. The chorus seems a bit out of place (though the slide guitars are great), especially reading your translation of what the chorus is about (maybe it's supposed to be ironic?). Not an annoying voice at all - I wish I could sing like that. Good song overall, with good production quality as well.


canese - "Hang In Time"

Nice chill track. Good sounds, effects, production. Tasteful echo. I really like the arpeggios at 2:19. I feel like the song could have actually started around here, and would be a lot more interesting. Too much mood-setting, for my taste, at least. The subtle faster arpeggios at ~2:45 are a really nice touch. I feel like the song could use more hints of a melody, though it does function well adding development with layering.


MarkS - "Days Come and Go"

This would fit in perfectly with the late-night DJ style where one track blends into next. I love the text-to-speech part. It really adds to the feeling of the track. The 80's style synth stabs at 1:32 are great. The lasers sfx are mixed too hot. I don't think I'd really change anything other than that, though while I get how it fits with this month's theme, I'm not sure it conveys it as well as some of the other contestants. Nice job, though.

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TrojakEW

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#35

Post by TrojakEW »

Here is my feedback and again with some numbers so you can check your stats and compare with others. I always trying to avoid voting based on preferred style and always takes in consideration all aspects of track - theme, expressions, composition, choice of instruments and of course mix. Everything need to be balanced and sometimes great composition is destroyed by bad mix or vice versa. Also we should not forget about the another important factor - theme for this round. Two of the track are available only as mp3 so for them some statistics may differ from original uncompressed version. If you think that I'm too rough on your track you should check all my comments on every track to see that I'm like that on everyone :oops: . You can return me the favor in voting. Just put me on last place if you wish. :P

DoctorBob - Relax your mind
I like composition . Very nice theme that fits the swc theme. As I said before there is too much happening here so it is sometimes feels cluttered. What I mean is that is hard to follow the main melody or rather said hard to choose what is leading melody in track. Great choice of instruments. There is nice stage but it is "destroyed" by mix. Whole track is muddy. Most cluttered is mid range of frequency spectrum from 400Hz to about 4kHZ. I miss lover spectrum. It doesn't need to be bass heavy but some low frequencies are needed to add more power to the mix. Also mix need more air especially in the beginning. But lowering mid frequencies may solve this problem. So most problematic in this track is tonal balance that may also help with cluttered feel that I had also from composition.

Max momentary loudness -12,5 LUFS
Max short term loudness -13,8 LUFS
Integrated loudness -17,1 LUFS
Loudness range 7,4 LU
True peak L -3,06 dB
True peak R -2,87 dB
DC offset L +0,001% (-104,5 dB)
DC offset R +0,001% (-104,5 dB)

gruskada - Deprecated
Great track. Like the theme and also composition. But the track have very sad and melancholy feel. It is more like the person lost his fight with himself. But I do really like the track. Mix feels good at start. There is very nice stage there. But when the bass starts it's break that balance a little. There is too much bass frequencies there around 90HZ. Weird is that stage for drums change at 1:04. Did the drummer have time to move his drums further and to the left. The change is really audible. Because of that also lover frequencies are panned to the left making mix feel bit weird. When something moves far from mic the sound should be wider regarding reflection but the dry sound should be mono. Again the position of drummer change at 1:50. He is back when he started. You also have some clipping. It looks like you just set brickwall limiting to 0dB and some of sounds get past your barrier. I really like the track but that mix issue and that sad expression in track cost you some points.

Max momentary loudness -8,3 LUFS
Max short term loudness -9,8 LUFS
Integrated loudness -14,0 LUFS
Loudness range 8,3 LU
True peak L +0,15 dB (46 samples clipped)
True peak R +0,09 dB (16 samples clipped)
DC offset L +0,101% (-59,9 dB)
DC offset R +0,103% (-59,8 dB)

] Peter:H [ - Heilung
Cool experimental track. Nice choice of instruments and even that track is mean to be more like ambient track it still have a story behind that change and evolve. But same as gruskada it feels more like the fight is lost. It have sad and sorrowful atmosphere. I was awaiting some more relaxing parts but it not happen. Regarding mix this track have best sound field. Great placing of instruments on stage. Mix sounds clear but the bass is too heavy and in some parts there are some audible distortion. Maybe on purpose but this make the track sounds more aggressive as it should be. This bass also break the tonal balance. There is too much happening around 60 HZ. Also some distortion can be because of that clipping you have there.

Max momentary loudness -5,0 LUFS
Max short term loudness -8,0 LUFS
Integrated loudness -13,3 LUFS
Loudnes range 7,9 LU
True peak L +0,52 dB (4730 samples clipped)
True peak R +0,04 dB (4309 samples clipped)
DC offset L +1,598% (-35,9 dB)
DC offset R +1,588% (-36,0 dB)

donkey tugger - The road down to the sea (mp3)
Great stuff as always. Like the theme and also composition. But I really like the track more if it was instrumental. You have nice voice but not suited (for me) for this track. Mix feels balanced almost. Sometimes that kick is too boomy (around 60HZ). Also some more air is needed. Looks like some of instruments have low pass to remove most high frequencies. Nice track but I already hear a lot of better tracks from you. You surely did not the best you can. I have feeling you made this one really quick almost in hurry.

Max momentary loudness -6,6 LUFS
Max short term loudness -7,7 LUFS
Integrated loudness -12,4 LUFS
Loudness range 15,6 LU
True peak L +0,18 dB (65 samples clipped)
True peak R +0,28 dB (101 samples clipped)
DC offset L 0,000% (-112,2 dB)
DC offset R +0,000% (-121,4 dB)

ryanc - Red and Grey
Nice track and nice voice. Thanks for posting lyrics and it helpful for someone like me (English is not my native language). But even with lyrics I am not sure what to think about it. From what I read the person is confused and loosing himself. He do not know if there is reason to fight. Where is healing part? He is still ill minded. Mix sounds really good. Only thing that is annoying for me is that panned organ. LFO or panning form right to left on organ is weird. Looks like the one who plays it is hyperactive and run from on side of stage to other side with portable organ in his hands whole time.

Max momentary loudness -11,7 LUFS
Max short term loudness -13,7 LUFS
Integrated loudness -17,9 LUFS
Loudness range 11,3 LU
True peak L -0,05 dB
True peak R -0,74 dB
DC offset L +0,093% (-60,6 dB)
DC offset R +0,032% (-69,8 dB)

Olli H - Evil Eye (mp3)
I absolutely have no clue about lyrics since and even do not know what language it is. Musically it feels more like celebration after healing process but the voice doesn't support that party. It is almost like whispering that doesn't support the mood set by track itself. Mix sounds tonally balanced. Only it looks like there is EQ on master set to cut some frequencies above 18kHZ and make the track sounds little muffled. Nice stage.
Max momentary loudness -12,1 LUFS
Max short term loudness -13,4 LUFS
Integrated loudness -16,0 LUFS
Loudness range 7,1 LU
True peak L -2,01 dB
True peak R -1,51 dB
DC offset L -0,075% (-62,5 dB)
DC offset R -0,075% (-62,5 dB)

canese - Hang in time
Really like the theme and atmosphere in this one. Really suits the theme. Great choice of instruments. Thumbs up for this. Now to the bad. Mix is bad. It is really muddy. Most of instruments reside in range between 400HZ and 3kHZ fighting each other. Everything above 4kHZ is almost missing. You also have peak in bass frequencies around 50 HZ that is not audible of smaller speakers. Even with sub it sounds weak. It just takes spaces but not add power to the mix as it should. Stage is there but it is "destroyed" by that muddy mix. With better mix this will be really really great track.

Max momentary loudness -17,5 LUFS
Max short term loudness -18,0 LUFS
Integrated loudness -23,5 LUFS
Loudness range 12,0 LU
True peak L -8,00 dB
True peak R -7,98 dB
DC offset L 0,000% (-137,7 dB)
DC offset R 0,000% (-137,0 dB)

MarkS - Days come & go
Composition feel kind of weird and without structure. I can only recognize intro and end the rest is something between those two parts. Missing the lead line/melody. It is more like triggering some sounds that doesn't support each other. I recommend you to think more about track composition and forget now about mixing and mastering. Try to tell a story with sounds, whole story. Mix feels tonally balanced but it can't improve problems mention above. Stage is also there but it should be wider.

Max momentary loudness -9,1 LUFS
Max short term loudness -12,2 LUFS
Integrated loudness -15,2 LUFS
Loudness range 8,4 LU
True peak L -0,82 dB
True peak R -0,74 dB
DC offset L -0,007% (-83,2 dB)
DC offset R -0,007% (-83,3 dB)

The hardest part was voting.
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canese
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Location: <3 of SouthAmerica

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#36

Post by canese »

TrojakEW wrote:
Fri Sep 27, 2019 20:02 CEST

canese - Hang in time
Really like the theme and atmosphere in this one. Really suits the theme. Great choice of instruments. Thumbs up for this. Now to the bad. Mix is bad. It is really muddy. Most of instruments reside in range between 400HZ and 3kHZ fighting each other. Everything above 4kHZ is almost missing. You also have peak in bass frequencies around 50 HZ that is not audible of smaller speakers. Even with sub it sounds weak. It just takes spaces but not add power to the mix as it should. Stage is there but it is "destroyed" by that muddy mix. With better mix this will be really really great track.

Max momentary loudness -17,5 LUFS
Max short term loudness -18,0 LUFS
Integrated loudness -23,5 LUFS
Loudness range 12,0 LU
True peak L -8,00 dB
True peak R -7,98 dB
DC offset L 0,000% (-137,7 dB)
DC offset R 0,000% (-137,0 dB)
This is quality feedback, thank you, sir. I think to solve the bass problem I could increase the volume and maybe add another layer to cover the 50-200 hz range. Now, for the muddiness I'm not sure how to solve it. Maybe doubling the instruments one octave above? How would you approach the mix?
ryanc

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#37

Post by ryanc »

Great job everybody - regardless of the results, it is a fantastic thing to create something new and learn along the way!

Seeing as this is a songwriting contest, I attempt to judge each entry by how it is written and arranged rather than how it is mixed and produced. If someone submitted an expertly recorded and mixed rendition of "Mary had a Little Lamb" would it really deserve to win a songwriting contest? I don't think so.

Also note that regrettably, I am judging these songs based off of one listen only. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of spare time right now to listen and scrutinize each song as much as I'd like. As such, I encourage each of you to take my critique with a grain of salt. I will include in each review one thing I like and one thing I think could improve the song, based on my opinion.

Doctor Bob - Relax Your Mind:
Nice use of multiple instruments at different times of the song to retain interest. However, the song lacks structure and seems to be a string of thoughts tied loosely together. There is one recognizable motif in the piano part, but it only repeats once.

Trojak EW - Invisible Power:
I like the broad use of the entire spectrum. The low end makes this feel like a movie score. The song feels like two separate sections that meet in the middle, I would like to see more structure to combine the two into one chain of thought.

Gruskada - Deprecated:
First of all, your guitar tone is beautiful! I love the guitar solos - very powerful. This feels, though, like just a chord progression with a guitar solo layered on top of it. There is no verse-chorus-verse-chorus kind of structure or recognizable motif that will create the perfect blend of intrigue and familiarity for the listener.

Peter H - Heilung:
Cool stereo image on this song - nice use of a variety of effects. I feel like this could be the backing track of a suspenseful movie! The chord progression is a little scattered - I'd like to see it more structured, showing a verse-chorus-verse-chorus kind of progression.

Ollie H - Evil Eye:
This song is well structured, showing a distinct change in instruments and in chord progression between the verse and chorus. Also I think it's pretty neat to make a song from a poem your wife wrote! The only change I would recommend you consider, is to change the melody for the chorus a little bit - maybe make it a little higher - to make it stand out more from the verse.

Canese - Hang in Time:
Neat use of instruments - I especially like the organ. It sounds very Hans Zimmer-esque. The buildup and gradual swell beautifully creates emotion in the listener. The two halves feel a bit disconnected. I would recommend considering adding in the first section some kind of hint or nod to the second section - maybe using a similar instrument in both sections.

Mark S - Days Come and Go:
This has a fun use of different sound effects. I feel like it could be a nice video game soundtrack! However, it lacks the structure I like to find in a song. It has the same bassline throughout the song, without any change or break, which makes it hard to retain the attention of your listener. I would suggest changing up the chord progression to make it more interesting.

Donkey Tugger - Road Down to the Sea:
You have a very appealing, dark sound. However, I feel like the melody of this song could use a little more consistency. A good melody finds the balance between familiarity and unpredictability. This song errs on the side of unpredictable, so it's hard to differentiate from one verse to the next or from the verse to the chorus. I really like the hook though, especially the last "Road down to the sea" which was very powerful.
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ryanc

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#38

Post by ryanc »

canese wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 18:03 CEST
Ryanc_RedandGray

OMG! Got goosebumps from this song. Felt like I was speaking to myself and the final part was heavenly. Harmony and voice melodies does a pretty good job. Voice melody in the chorus is unique and it's awesome!. Hollywood songstructure make this a perfect tune for radio, only lacks a final chorus after the bridge, but then it would be too long. Voice processing is perfect, what it's your effect chain? I would love to know. Overall balance also is good. Only remark is for the drums. In the first verse they feel so little, and in the chorus they are huge (snare it's a little too loud). I think drums from something like "imagine dragons - believer" would fit more with the song.
Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad you liked it. I'm using Presonus Studio one, and I didn't really do a ton of processing on the vocals. I just applied a HPF at 145HZ and boosted the highs a little from 11K+. Then I added Neutrino with the Vocals preset, stock compressor, slight 1/2 note delay and bright plate reverb. In the chorus I dubbed the vocals twice and panned them to each side.

I'm on the same page as far as the drums go. I ran out of time on this song so it will definitely need more work. I tried doing "Believer" style drums but I worried that it would sound too similar to that song. Thanks again!
TrojakEW

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#39

Post by TrojakEW »

canese wrote:
Sat Sep 28, 2019 00:06 CEST
I think to solve the bass problem I could increase the volume and maybe add another layer to cover the 50-200 hz range. Now, for the muddiness I'm not sure how to solve it. Maybe doubling the instruments one octave above? How would you approach the mix?
Regarding muddines, don't know your original freq spectrum of instruments used. Did you used eq on them to get rid of high freq range or boost mid? Usually removed too much upper harmonics can cause this or too dominant instruments in mid section. You can also try to bring down that mid range to balance overall freq range. It is hard to say without working with it. Maybe most of your instruments are played on same octave?
DoctorBob

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC025 September 2019 - Voting until 01-OCT-2019 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#40

Post by DoctorBob »

Here are my brief notes for the current contest. Very hard to judge the variety of tracks without a certain amount of subjective bias coming into play. I hope my observations help in some little way.

TrojakEW - Invisible Power

I like the opening section a lot and that bass drop is well placed. To me the percussion is a little too loud. The subtle airy pads are delight. The voice perhaps needed some variation, and I really would have liked more of the piano which created great feeling when it was present. Mix was great, as I would expect from you.

Gruskada - Deprecated

Some very nice guitar work in this track. I would have liked the acoustics to have a bit more sustain to them at times (even an extra touch of reverb/echo?). The middle section with the overdrives really helped to change the atmosphere so we could come back to the calm.

]Peter H[ - Heilung

First, a great stab at binaural work, you must have been very engaged to work out all those placements and movements. The opening section is quite "menacing" with the gulls etc adding to the "fear factor". I was expecting a more "relaxed" section, but the only respite being around 3:50 ... certainly invokes a feeling of inner struggle. The mix is a little bass heavy for my liking, but then, I know how you like to work in this part of the audio specrtum :-)

Donkey Tugger - The Road Down to the Sea

Lovely opening with melancholy guitar. Vocals have a near Mancunian feel? I find the kick a little loud at times and miss the hats (they are better near the end!). The fuller middle section is great and I am glad you didn't autotune! Perhaps the bass could be better defined and more engaged. Overall a very nice track, sung with great feeling.

Ryanc - Red and Grey

I found the change from the sustained overdrive guitar to the vocals a bit abrupt. Well sung in tune vocals. Lovely piano at 1:50 and so glad it was there from 4.00 onwards. Mix is well balanced. The guitar in the outro is well placed and played. The song for me, though well crafted, didn't have the feel of a calm inner mind.

Olli H - Evil Eye

Lots of classic content here. I missed any change in dynamics for the first minute. Then you get going and the mix is much better. I like how you used the guitar to play the melody at outro. Somehow to me it didn't arouse any real feelings, all seemed a bit "flat", if that makes any sort of sense.

Canese - Hang in Time

Moody start, with a good sound stage. The bass (when present) could do with being a bit higher in the mix. I really like the piano arps at 2:20. Such a lovely background which really needed some stronger melodic lines in there to complement the lovely ebb and flow you created.

MarkS - Days Come and Go

Sadly I find the house kick a bit too distracting. The track overall does rise and fall in its energy, but the percussive elements don't quite seem to fit. The voice motifs are good and add to the track.

... and now to the scores!
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