2024-MAR-01 Info: Check out Songwriting Competition 079 if you're into "Synthwave" music making.

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
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Mister Fox
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Voting until 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#31

Post by Mister Fox »

Let us kick off the VOTING PROCESS, which will end on Wednesday, 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET latest


There is a GLOBAL COUNTDOWN to check for deadlines.
Just follow this link: Global Countdown (on homepage)



Here is the collection of productions from all participants (in hope that I didn't forget anyone). As usual, if you click on the small upwards-arrow right beside the quoted name, you can jump to the original post and read up on the documentation for this production.


.
J I L L I A M wrote:
Wed Dec 18, 2019 10:51 CET
"ApocAlypt0 ...Still"

Olli H wrote:
Mon Dec 23, 2019 21:02 CET
"The End is Coming Soon"

MP3: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1t60GC ... Eq2JR2Xhec
Thelace43 wrote:
Tue Dec 24, 2019 01:35 CET
"Pictures on the Pages"

MP3 - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-ZU0WN ... p=drivesdk
donkey tugger wrote:
Tue Dec 24, 2019 11:32 CET
"Empires"

MP3 - http://www.bennyleeds7.myfreeola.uk/swc ... mpires.mp3
A Future in Noise wrote:
Tue Dec 24, 2019 22:58 CET
"SjundeVaagen"



MP3 - https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Q5FaW ... tsj_TVxVfC
.


Please consult the last post of how your vote could look like (which links to more sources). And to make it simple for me for counting the votes - please use the forum usernames in your listing. Thank you!

To make it easier on yourself, and more helpful for each participant, maybe focus on the overall production value. What you really liked with the song, what you'd like to see improved, etc.

SWC028 participants giving feedback to each other (to every participant) and casting your Top 5 vote is mandatory, else you will be disqualified. Please also keep the new game mechanics in mind.


Good luck to all participants! :tu:
Richard Watashi

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Voting until 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#32

Post by Richard Watashi »

> future noise: Sjunde Vaagen
-like this track a lot. It sounds like a ballad and, the chords are very nice as well as the vocal melodies. I am only not a fan of the happy chorus, but it is just my taste.

> donkeyT: empires
-this is not much my style, but it doesn't mean anything. I enjoyed it somewhat, even when it is a genre i really don't listen to. THe shaker surprised me, haha. So, even if not for me - i think it's solid.

> Mike Dorsey: Pictures On THe Pages
- It's nice. I like the piano and the chords. Sounds a little bit melancholic, maybe even nostalgic somewhat.

> Olli H: The End is Coming Soon
- this is a funny track, but not for me at all. I personally don't like Country music. But it's well produced, thsi is what i think.

> Becsei Grygory: Resurection
-Great track, imo. Absolutely sinking in the atmosphere. Sounds a lot like a movie or a game OST. Though it sounds too much patriotic-like. Just too much for me - i am not a fan of patriotic-national music.
► Show Spoiler
it was a fun for me to participate once again and, i enjoyed the tracklist.

See you next time
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Mister Fox
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Voting until 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#33

Post by Mister Fox »

A friendly reminder:
We're in the final 24 hours to give feedback and cast your vote.


Please keep the new rule set in mind - while giving feedback, please provide insight on how to improve things. Failing to give feedback and casting your vote will result in disqualification.
Olli H
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Voting until 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#34

Post by Olli H »

Hi, here's my subjective comments to each song.

================

J I L L I A M, ApocAlypto

Great intro: very catchy melody with delay.

All through the song the music part is very interesting and promising. But I would like to hear better the words. Now - with the overdose of effects - the vocal is more like a background texture. But as there is real lyrics with soulful and touchy content, one should hear them better. Now it leaves my mind to a state without focus: should I listen to the texture or the instruments?

If you want to keep vocal as bg-texture those inhale breaths should be edited away.

If we had a second round for submissions, I would love to hear a version where your voice would be quite dry on that beautiful instrumentation with or without bg-texture. That would create a nice 3d effect. It could be just spoken, or altered with effects, but it should be something comprehensible. For example David Bowies ”Man who sold the world” could be a good reference for the use of effects with vocal part.

Overall, you clearly have a talent to turn your innermost feelings directly to music (that’s rare), but during mixing time I think you should have a courage to leave yourself exposed and vulnerable, not masked by effects. If you find a solution to that problem, you’d be a winner and you would find yourself a dedicated audience. How about asking one of your music friends to do a vocal mix for you?



================

AFutureInNoise, SjundeVaagen

Beautiful melody and chord progression, also nice build up with arrangement as organ, bass and drums are introduced gradually. This old time arangement is also just suitable for the song, keeping the focus naturally with lyrics. Those of us who listen old ”folkmusik”, surely appreciate your music.

But the room/reverb sound is filling the space badly, and it is competing with singer by diminishing the role of lyrics. So, in arrangement there is elements for a nice build up, but that reverb combined overwhelming bass sound eats all the space. So mixwise there’s no room for those musical arrangement ideas to flourish.

Evert Taube’s old recordings could be a nice reference of how to keep the the lyrics and vox proudly as leading element. In his records there’s happening much behind, but still the music part only enhances the vox part.

1:18 onwards, great idea when female vox part is repeated by male voice like a delay.

Overall: ”väldigt bra”, great old time song with great lyrics, and I would love to hear it with better mix.



================

becsei_gyorgy, Resurrection

This is huge classical composition, perfect transitions from part to another. It has complex harmonies, perfect melodies and interesting chord progressions. No mistakes. I have nothing to add to it. You have gone through an extreme developement in a short time. One month ago you said ”I don't know yet how to develop a good melody or a good idea into a whole song.” So, if you continue to progress with the same speed, you’ll be soon a big name in music business.

BUT when it comes to this competition, this is a total opposite of the genre of this contest. Citat from Wikipedia: ”Singer-songwriter" is used to define popular music artists who write and perform their own material, which is often self-accompanied generally on acoustic guitar or piano. But in this case we have:
- no lyrics
- sung by a big choir
- accompanied by symphonic orchestra

So from that point of view, despite huge compositional merits and flawless sound, I think this song cannot compete in this ”Singer-songwriter" category.


================

Thelace43, Mike Dorsey, Pictures on the Pages

Cool ambitious song. Love it.

0:00 Strong piano opening
0:20 Nice melody, rhythmically nice lines
0:40 choir feels to be too big element to be presented with so small role
1:08 Drums come in nicely
-
1:30 Wow! Tempo change,
1:50 nice guitar solo, but drums start to feel a bit clumsy
2:50 Vocal rhythm maybe not working properly with drums
-
3:10 back to normal

Overall, I like very much those parts where’s there only piano and vocal. It feels confident and strong. But after tempo change I’m a bit worried if the band can make it to the end. I’m quite sure that current drum part doesn’t have the needed groove, if you listen it in solo mode.

Words are very lyrical and maybe too full of metaphors for me. Although I understand each word and line, I have problem to figure out what was just said. On the other hand, english is not my native language.


================

donkey tugger, empires

0:00 Direct opening, guitar could have played a little longer intro.
0:01 First verse work nicely with guitar
0:35 Second verse, I expected something to happen, drums or bass or both. Now the guitar starts to bring fatique
1:15 B-part could be a bit stronger melodically, now the song starts to drag
1:37 Cool change, now it happens what I waited before, nice change, jungle feeling,
Feels like birds or insects are attacking me.
1:55 This part is not melodically strong enough.

Over all, this song has potential to be much more than what it is now. Arrangement is maybe too monotonoes, somehow I expect something more to happen earlier. That constant guitar riff dominates too much. In a second verse some other instrument could take up the main role. But the final jungle riff is very cool.

If we had a second submission round in competition, I would suggest you to listen: America, A Horse With No Name. There could be some ideas to steal and develop for your song. And listen that smooth guitar sound. It’s constant with nice drive, but still it doesn’t take a focus from the singing.


► Show Spoiler
becsei_gyorgy
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Voting until 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#35

Post by becsei_gyorgy »

Hi,

Nice competition, I enjoyed every song. Every song has its strength.

>Jilliam: "ApocAlypt0 ...Still"
I like the built atmosphere, there are good ideas in the song, but it's a little undeveloped I think.
Nice opening. I'd like to add some lower, base notes to the melody. It would definitely help show us where we are (in a musical sense).
The singer's voice is only an ambient element now. It's a good ambient element, but in this case the lyrics is completely unnecessary. I can't hear the words. Try mixing an "ambient voice take" with a dry take. I think will be much better.
Missing some percussion elements too. Maybe discrete, low booms, short, distant high "ticks". It helps to widen the frequency spectrum and would also be rhythmically better.


>Olli H: "The End is Coming Soon"
I love the songs you make, it always has playfulness both rhythmically and lyrically.
Nice intro, good melody.
Easy to remember chorus part.
In the first chorus the distortion of the guitar is too much for the song. (In the second refrain, the organ suppresses it, but in he first part is very audible to my taste.)
It's a good song.

>Thelace43:"Pictures on the Pages"
This was the most thoughtful song for me in a musical sense.
If I cut the song into tiny little pieces, each one is great. But I don't feel like they work together.
Nice piano intro (a bit aggressive piano play - a bit overcompressed piano?), Simple chords that gives you a little disturbing, vibrating feeling - then comes a silky, very calm, warm voice. Absolute contrast for me. After the first verse the warm choir in the background and the hard hitting, repetitive piano play enhances the contrast. (I would like to hear this song in a soft piano version :-).
Nice tempo change at 1:35. The guitar solo is absolutely not sitting on the mix. Good idea, good solo just in a completely different space.
The distortion of the guitar continues in the distortion of the vocal. Good idea (a little too direct), but it fits better with the hard piano. If the piano was gentle in the beginning it would help the most right now. The song would have better dynamics, and the piano playing wouldn't seem too repetitive.
But overall, this is the song that I think has the most potential.

>donkey tugger:"Empires"
Nice guitar in the beginning. Good vocal.
But the story builds up very slowly, the guitar, the progression come to be very repetive.
From 1:58 (the climax) like a U2 song, but I'm not the big fan of the U2, I'm sorry :-).
I think the structure of the song would be better, and missing a good melody line.
Sometimes (in the middle of the song) I don't feel where are we come from and where are we go.

>A Future in Noise:"SjundeVaagen"
Good song. It reminds me of Nordic folk songs, nice chord progressions, good melody. It was made by a skilled, experienced author. For me it lacks the surprise factor, just a little very predictable I think. But overall it's great.
(Maybe it would be a bit cheesy, common thing but I would trying add a higher instrument (e.g. celtic flute) element also on the top :-))

► Show Spoiler
donkey tugger

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Voting until 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#36

Post by donkey tugger »

Some good entries this month!


Thelace43 - Great piano playing and nicely recorded vocal (perhaps just a touch sibilant? Not much but noticeable) Good loose feel to everything, just on the verge of losing it but never quite collapsing - a difficult one to achieve! Only thing mix wise I'd change is the drums - they seem quite weak given the rest odf the production. You could keep the 'tea-towel' damped sound but have them more prominent and aggressive with a bit of bus compression. Arrangement wise it's good - perhaps a refrain at the end? - 10

Jilliam - Interesting minimal, haunting piece with the highly effected vocals. doesn't bother me at all that you can't tell a word -one of my favourite bands is My Bloody Valentine, and I still have no clue of the lyrics of most of theirs... Only thing I'd suggest mix wise is to slap a deesser on the vocal - some of it is very sibilant. Liked it - 9

Bescei_gyorgy - Very filmic and a very nice mix with appropriate reverbs etc. Some parts of it do sound a little upbeat and 'jolly' (the 'chorus') for invoking the 'end of the world', but as a piece of music it's really well done and well thought out - 8

OlliH - Get a little flavour of The Kinks later stuff from this. More of an ironic take on the apocalypse. Always a sucker for a bit of whistling. Not mad keen on the drums panning - I know it's a stylistic '60's' style choice to have snare so far left, but it irritated me after a little bit!. also think a more brush style kit would have sounded nicer. A nice little song that probably could build a bit more over it's course, but interesting nonetheless. - 7

A Future in noise - Got a European folk feel . Not keen on the chorus on the acoustic guitar (never am - 12 strings all the way!). Drums are bit dry and pedestrian given the obvious emotion in the vocals - they could do with much more dynamism in terms of velocity . It's nice enough but does seem to meander a little, which leads me to think that a bit of overall more dynamics in the arrangement wouldn't go amiss. - 6
becsei_gyorgy
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Voting until 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#37

Post by becsei_gyorgy »

Olli H wrote:
Wed Jan 01, 2020 08:47 CET

"[...] this is a total opposite of the genre of this contest.
So from that point of view, despite huge compositional merits and flawless sound, I think this song cannot compete in this ”Singer-songwriter" category."
Sorry i read the rules and it was written there:
Mister Fox wrote:
Fri Nov 29, 2019 04:42 CET
Bar minimum, use some choir samples [...].
The focus should be on telling "a clear story" [...]

I hope I could find suitable examples for the cheat sheet, which I suggest taking a closer look (like usual). Although a lot of these are not traditionally in the "Singer / Songwriter" genre.
I used choir samples (like written in the rules) because I have no equipment yet to record good vocals and I can't sing :smile:
And the choir was the main, dominant element in my song.

This is the second time I partecipate in this competition and I thought the given "cheat sheet songs" help to inspire and guide you what is the genre/goal of the competition.
(e.g. Last month the syphonic metal wasn't so smyphonic and metal in most songs. :smile: )

In my opinion I hit the minimum, but opinions may differ.
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Voting until 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#38

Post by A Future in Noise »

Thelace43: I really like the melancholic beginning and ending of this song. And your voice is exactly the right one to accompany this tune. Good singing, good piano playing.

JILLIAM: Although the music is a little bit too repetitive IMO, it mediates a certain feeling, which I have no name for. This song could probably do as film music, in order to create the right atmosphere together with the right pictures. But I’m not sure that this is what I regard as singer-songwriter-music.

OlliH: I liked the organ; the sound of it and how you treat the instrument. And it’s a nice little song. But I can’t see why you chose to whistle; that part off the song is too much out of tune. Or did you do it that way in order to be amusing? I really don’t like humorous music. Sorry. You wrote “Please, try to bear with my singing.” Which reminds me of an occasion maybe 15 years ago when I asked a producer if he liked my songs. He said: No, definitely not. I asked him to try to use his imagination and picture what my song would sound like if only I had had a better microphone and I had had a real studio with more instruments in it than just a KORG M1. His answer was: I cannot judge what I haven’t heard, I can only judge what I’m listening to.

There is some kind of similarity between Bryan Ferry’s A hard rain’s gonna fall and some parts of your song, but the impression isn’t anywhere near. Maybe it’s because of the reluctant singer – I don’t know. Maybe you should try to find yourself a good singer?

Donkey Tugger: OK – I really like the sound of your 12-strings (inspired by Supertramp – no they used Wurlitzer?). But you overuse the opening riffs. And I get a feeling that this tune never really begins. I’m waiting and waiting for the chorus (which might be there, I’m only speaking about my feeling/impression).

becsei_gyorgy: Heroic indeed. The sound is clean, kind of professional. You have done this with great skill. But I get really … well, exhausted when this composition goes on and on with the same intensity. You don’t want to get exhausted listening to music, do you? And this is closer to Prokofjev or Shostakovitj, IMO, than the singer-songwriter genre. You would have gotten higher scores from me this month if it hadn’t been for the fact that I cannot identify this as singer-songwriter-music, and with some more variation in terms of tempo/intensity it could have been a winner.
Thelace43

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - Voting until 01-JAN-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#39

Post by Thelace43 »

J I L L I A M

Great song; the instruments seem to serve as a melodic structure over the foundation of the vocal "drone" I am not sure I understand the words at some points


The lyrics didn't really convey "the end", as I thought the challenge was more about the end times, rather than that of a personal love

---

becsei_gyorgy

I think this is a really great production, but is not at all "singer songwriter".

---

Olli H

This is not up my alley, but you did a great job with the mixing and arrangement, although I feel the vocals were a little low in the mix at some points.

---

donkey tugger

This is quite my favorite, reminds me a lot of something Cat Stevens would have done in the 90s. Love the 12 string, and the subtle echo of the vocals ("like empires")

EDIT: I know the artist formally known as Cat Stevens is still alive, but, ya know.

---

A Future in Noise

Love it, love the vocals. The drums sound a little "MIDI", but everything else makes up for that.

-------

01 (10 pts) - donkey tugger
02 (9 pts) - A Future in Noise
03 (8 pts) - Olli H
04 (7 pts) - J I L L I A M
05 (6 pts) - becsei_gyorgy
Last edited by Thelace43 on Thu Jan 02, 2020 07:51 CET, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC028 December 2019 - results in preparation

#40

Post by Mister Fox »

It's the 02nd January 2020, 5:00am - the Voting Period has officially ended.

All participants have submitted feedback cast their vote (I'll consider Thelace43's 12:01min entry as "server glitch" - please try to prevent that in the future), we therefore have zero disqualifications due to lack of participation.

I ask everyone to check and update their posts again - cross check with the Rules and Guidelines (especially with the new game mechanic). Especially those that didn't provide a proper ranking. Please don't make things unnecessarily harder for me. Else, I'll go down from first paragraph to the last one and rank the entries accordingly. You'll have until late 02-JAN-2020 (let's say around 18:00/6pm GMT+1/CET).


I will post the results shortly, please have an eye on this thread.
(this is not an automated process)
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