2024-MAR-01 Info: Check out Songwriting Competition 079 if you're into "Synthwave" music making.

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
gruskada
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#41

Post by gruskada »

Benedict Roff-Marsh - The Shifters
This is very interesting. It reminds me a bit of King Crimson. The song is somehow relaxing in an odd sort of way. I've got to say I hated it the first time I listened to it, but that's pretty common with avant garde-type stuff for me. Then, with the good stuff at least, I have a strong desire to want to hear it again. That's what this song experience was like for me. There's a lot going on here - I didn't pick out the odd time, which is kind of a good thing - if it sounds unnatural, it jumps out at you. The guitars definitely don't sound real to me, but I like the sound anyway. The YouTube video is a nice touch as well. Nice job.

becsei_gyorgy - Legend of an angel (Heaven's War)
Wow, the intro is fantastic! The mellow trumpet sound is a nice touch. The genres blend really nicely - ethnic/metal. The lead guitars sometimes sound like noodling (good noodling, but still...). The lead guitar tone is rough to my ears - too thin and brittle, maybe. Doubling and/or EQ might help. The line at 3:57 - wow, this is awesome! The guitar tone on the heavy guitars sounds great as well. For the contest, I would have added more avant garde elements, but the song stands on its own.

TrojakEW (w/ Jilliam) - Crawl
There are some great elements here - the intro is really strong, the drums are great, and the reversed sounds are cool. But, you lose me as soon as the voice comes in. It's a really odd forced sound. Something about that voice is grating to me. I definitely hear the elements of avant garde, which are nicely done. The guitar solo is pretty cool, but the phrasing in parts is unnatural - seems almost like hunting and pecking for notes in a scale/mode vs. just playing naturally.

Doc Jon - Fastlife
This song could have been so great - I hope you finish it. It's definitely funky rock. I love the tape stop effect at the beginning. The production is super crisp and clean. As it is, though, it just sounds like a really good backing track. The solo is cheesy, but still sounds good. I don't hear any attempt at avant garde elements.

A Future in Noise - Dr Andrew
I really like the sparse arrangement- sounds great, as do the backing vocals. The vibe reminds me a bit of the Dire Straits, with hints of early Pink Floyd. The breakdown section is really cool - definitely funky (and avant garde at the same time). But the vocals go out of tune (intentionally or not) too much for my taste.

Olli H - I’m going crazy as I get older
This is one of your better songs (that I've heard), in my opinion. I feel like you pushed yourself a bit, even if the result may fall short of what the contest demanded. There's a lot to like here - the music box part is great. It doesn't sound like a typical music box to me, but it's cool. I LOVE the time sig switch - it's the reverse of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, with the chorus part in 3/4 instead of 4/4). The Hammond Organ accents are also nice and tasteful. I love the real guitars, esp. how well the two parts in each channel work together. The rest of the mix is really nice, too. As far as the contest goes, the "get up" part could have switched to funk guitars/bass, and would have sounded great I think. By the way, did you just get a MIDI pickup for your guitar? - I love using that thing. It's my secret weapon.
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Benedict Roff-Marsh

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#42

Post by Benedict Roff-Marsh »

I'm gonna reply a la Jack Sparrow:

No it wasn't written for something else as underscore.
I have written films, would love to do some more.
This isn't film music, even tho to you it is the only thing you can equate it to
Ooh King Crimson! Never managed to be a fan actually.
ELP, Yes, Asia, Camel however...
And Tangerine Dream.
Yes Tangerine Dream and those other Germans, the ones with the robot trains.
No they are not presets. Every sound is made in the piece. Sorry, they are not what you wanted them to be. I forgot to ask you first. Next time maybe.
Oh KVR, bunch of bastards. Met them once, didn't like their manners. Didn't know they had a challenged OSC tho, but it stands to reason tho seeing they are not very nice people.
I never said it was a guitar, it just plays that role.
Or at least it would if you let it.
Seems that there I should have used a preset. Can't win, don't try.
Wow someone chose me as first!
Last! Ouch, wouldn't be revenge would it.
Not Metal. Ummm.
Not listened to much Metal, have you? I mean like the real stuff, not that Methshuggle thing where they go Brrrrummm and grumble a lot.
Or maybe Metal is not a style but a formula. That seems to be the ticket. Poor old Capt. Dio would be spinning in his grave.
Long?!? 22 mins is short. I made it short for you.
Pointless, well that was the whole idea wasn't it. Explainsed that to nasty little Hobbitses before we dids. Maybe Hobbitses can't reads?
Irony - the act of ironing. Don't iron, makes things far too flat.
The melody is too wandery. Oh jeez sorry I totally forgot you only ever heard Trap where they don't have the fortitude to even complete the melody before they have to start it again.
Oops, that last was another Forum entirely. But oddly they said all the same stuff as here. It gets so hard to see any of you as being separate people. I'm sure you are but maybe it is just the rum.
:hihi:
TrojakEW

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#43

Post by TrojakEW »

Benedict Roff-Marsh wrote:
Thu May 28, 2020 07:38 CEST
No they are not presets. Every sound is made in the piece. Sorry, they are not what you wanted them to be. I forgot to ask you first. Next time maybe.
Reason I used quotes on word stock is that in that they do not have enough organic feel to them and they sound very same during performance/play. It is not about basic sound character but about simulating more expressive behaviour on sound based on velocity, creating fake RR, dynamics simulated with automations for sustain phase and so on. Not to use sound as it designed by default but depend on part and performance.

No you do not need to ask. This is only my personal view on it and nothing else. Some may like it some not. We are all different and I prefer organic behaviour even on synth sounds. But same problem can be when using sample libraries. Just like I do not like that kind of synthetic behaviour on becsei_gyorgy track in this round. Also it doesn't mean I can do better. Never said that. I'm not musician or anything close to it so what I do know. I just enjoying the process.
Benedict Roff-Marsh wrote:
Thu May 28, 2020 07:38 CEST
Oh KVR, bunch of bastards. Met them once, didn't like their manners. Didn't know they had a challenged OSC tho, but it stands to reason tho seeing they are not very nice people.
Now you are bit of rude here. Yes there is a lot of kids that seems lost there but there are quite a lot of skilled people there especially some of those in KVR OSC and some of them are here also. Regarding sound design some of them are very very skilled and can do far better sounds then those who sell preset packs. I learn a lot about sound design by joining KVR OSC and most important it was fun.
gruskada
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#44

Post by gruskada »

Benedict Roff-Marsh wrote:
Thu May 28, 2020 07:38 CEST
maybe it is just the rum.
Assuming you were serious, rum and forums don't mix well.

A lot of my songs have been significantly beaten up here as well. Consider if the criticism makes sense to take into consideration (at least for your next song), and move on. It's not fun, but at least most of the time with this forum, I get where the criticism is coming from, and can learn from it. In some cases, it makes sense to defend your choices, but your post just comes across as petty and whiny.

You have an interesting take on things, both musically and in your comments. People won't always agree - try not to take it so personally.
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Mister Fox
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#45

Post by Mister Fox »

Folks... there is criticism in/with every community - even the Mix Challenge one. Although I try to keep things as friendly and welcoming as possible. So please, no personal attacks, no tirades, or I'll step in and clean house (one-time warning!).

Please focus on the production - not "personalities". There is no "revenge" mechanic with the voting process. If you need to go that route, you ultimately only cheat yourself. Yes, judging music is subjective - but we're all here to learn and improve.
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Doc Jon
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#46

Post by Doc Jon »

I think the theme this month presented quite a challenge and it was interpreted in several different ways by different people! Hey, that’s fine by me, life would be boring if we all did exactly the same thing so I was happy as long as I could hear two distinctly different styles of music alternating in the track, with bonus points if that included metal and funk

Benedict Roff-Marsh
The Shifters

Definite prog feel to this track, rather lengthy intro, first notes of music come in at 1:00, background arps very atmospheric leading up to the 2:00 point when the track begins to develop with some really nice synth sounds. Creates a nice soundscape, it does sound like a soundtrack to an avant garde film, very reminiscent of some of Thomas Dolby’s soundtrack work
The metal section from 3:00 did not work for me, the guitars sounded too artificial. I found it difficult to tell when we were back with the original style as the contrast between the two styles didn’t seem entirely clear – and I wanted to hear some funk!
Good quality production, nice clear mix
I think it can be difficult when submitting a longer track to these competitions as I like to listen to each one several times and I did find myself skipping sections on the 3rd and 4th time of listening as it was too long for me overall

Olli H
Slow Motion

Oh, I like this so much, full marks as always for your vocals and such a good song – however, where is my metal and where is my funk??
Nice clear mix and I did detect two different musical styles
I loved the T Rex style bassline 😊. I would have liked a slightly more aggressive bass tone to help it cut through the mix more as it really helped the track to groove along
This track gave me great difficulty to rank this month as I do not feel it really fitted the theme – but it was great!! Any other time this would have been top choice but I did feel I had to rank it below some others which followed the theme more accurately

gruskada
Canary Release

Funk – tick
Metal – tick
Vocals – tick
Madness rising? – definitely tick
Brilliant vocals, clever topical lyrics with great delivery, and the pitchshifting effect later in the track worked really well
Excellent production, so good to hear so many different elements, it kept my interest all the way through. As soon as I finished listening the first time I went right back and listened to it all over again!
Really good attention to detail throughout, again I was really impressed by the sheer number of different elements and ideas you had incorporated into a relatively short track of only 2:33
Fitted the theme perfectly - a sure-fire winner!

becsei_gyorgy
Legend of an Angel (Heaven’s War)

This track fulfilled the theme fine for me
The metal was definitely there (and very good too) and I was happy with the folk/ethnic sections as the ‘other style’ which you hopped back and forth between very effectively. Very original combination of contrasting styles and I think it worked well
Special mention to your choice of drum sounds – nice kit!!
Great production great mix, technically very good indeed

TrojakEW / JILLIAM
Crawl

Wow, spooky intro! When the beat comes in at 0:15 I was impressed by the clarity of the mix with that really weighty drum beat
Definitely an avant garde feel to this track and the vocals coming in at 1:15 fitted really well
We then had a drop into a slower section around 1:40 and some lovely strings coming in at 1:55 was an unexpected and nice surprise
The appearance of guitars at 2:40 did give us two different styles of music but I would have liked the metal section to have been heavier and more ‘metal’ with some alternating back and forth between the two styles throughout the track
Production high quality as always

A Future In Noise
Dr Andrew

My overall thought time and again throughout this track was – hey, It’s REM!
You have a great voice and showed it off to good effect here, some nice harmonies and cool backing sections
We definitely got some funk in that chorus although I think some of the female vocal adlibs didn’t sit particularly well with the overall feel of those sections, and I actually thought the verses were the stronger part of the track
I wasn’t too keen on the sound choice for the solo instrument at 2.22 and thought a nice electric piano sound would have fitted better, but that’s just nitpicking and simply my personal choice
Overall great production values and a nice clear mix, overall great track

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Olli H
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#47

Post by Olli H »

gruskada wrote:
Thu May 28, 2020 04:59 CEST
I LOVE the time sig switch - it's the reverse of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, with the chorus part in 3/4 instead of 4/4).
Thanks for comments.
The Beatles is full of time signature changes. Such a treasure chest to study. One of my favorites in that area is ”All you need is love”. It feels so simple, but it's not: time signature is changing weirdly constantly. And still it flows so naturally.
gruskada wrote:
Thu May 28, 2020 04:59 CEST
By the way, did you just get a MIDI pickup for your guitar? - I love using that thing. It's my secret weapon.
I don’t have the midi pickup, yet. I’m using Melodyne to convert my playing to midi. And I’m more and more trying to use keyboard directly.
Olli H
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#48

Post by Olli H »

Doc Jon wrote:
Fri May 29, 2020 01:14 CEST
Oh, I like this so much, full marks as always for your vocals and such a good song –
Thanks, now I got strength for next month's challange
Doc Jon wrote:
Fri May 29, 2020 01:14 CEST
however, where is my metal and where is my funk??
I guess they were buried under the garbage produced by my hasty stupidity. But next month I will read the task carefully BEFORE I start writing the song, not AFTER. I realized my mistake too late.
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A Future in Noise
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#49

Post by A Future in Noise »

Doc Jon wrote:
Fri May 29, 2020 01:14 CEST
You have a great voice and showed it off to good effect here, some nice harmonies and cool backing sections ...
Thanks! I guess it's obvious there are two male singers. At least it's obvious to me, and I guess it's obvious to everybody else (but I don't really know). It's me, anyway, alone in the first verse. And then only Michael in the first chorus.
becsei_gyorgy
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC033 May 2020 - Voting until 01-JUN-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#50

Post by becsei_gyorgy »

Benedict Roff-Marsh: The Shifters
Nice soundtrack. perfect for a movie scene. Nice journey from the beginning to the end.
But there is no metal, no rock, pure synthetic and has very little madness.
I have no problem with the song at all.
Just this month is not about this genre.

Olli H: I’m going crazy as I get older
I like this song too. However, you should step out of your comfort zone.
I already know that this genre you do it very well, I want to hear when you make music in a different genre :smile:
The song is a nice country-style song, I liked.

gruskada: Canary Release
I may not be modest, but besides me, you understood best what should be done this month.
Whatever, when I hear music like this from a club I avoid it by far :hihi:
Nice piece overall, good idea and nice implement. It's a bit short, and you’re lucky that OlliH didn’t do an arrangement category for scoring now :)
For me the vocals should me more crude or harsh.
But it's totally mad :smile:

TrojakEW Jilliam: Crawl
If I don’t watch the theme, just the songs, it’s an absolute favorite.
Is this not mad? Like a Joker movie score :hyper:)
The composition is also nice.
I like the plucky melody at the start. I imagine the laughing Joker face.
Cinematic pulse rhythm, strings, nice effects, good melody. What more?
From 2:39 the last part starts well, but the last half minute was not really interesting, it should have a better finale.
In fact, you should finish the song because it’s very OK.

Doc Jon: Fastlife
Nice funky start.
It’s a good starting point for a good song, but so far only half are ready. Without the melody it's a bit repetitive.
But overall what I have heard so far is good.
Just missing the "main line" and the metal/avantgarde element.

A Future in Noise: DrAndrew
Overall nice mood and nice song. Good vocal. Until 1:20 the song is fully enjoyable, nice (but has no metal/avantgarde feeling at all :)
Then the "chaotic" funky part break the ambience and the whole song in a wrong way.
Overall nice mood, I didn't like the middle part, but it's OK.
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