2024-MAR-01 Info: Check out Songwriting Competition 079 if you're into "Synthwave" music making.

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
EsteveCorbera
Posts: 168
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2020 23:53 CEST
Location: Catalunya

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#41

Post by EsteveCorbera »

EsteveCorbera wrote:
Fri May 28, 2021 11:30 CEST


How can I say? Music is about emotions and feelings, right? What I mean is the tension you create in a musical context/aspect, from simplicity to complexity, from really simple and boring/repetitive to absolute overload, same goes for 4/4 grooves to odd rhythm. I´m not talking about music theory in your case, everything is fine, I´m talking about the emotion it creates. It just stays in musical "no mans land", it is not really "catchy", it is hard for me to follow your story, this is why it feels so "random" to me. :bang: I hope you understand what I want to say, this is hard to explain.

Cheers!
Ok
Now I understand better what you meant.
I will sign up for it next time.
Thanks to your comments every day I am learning a little more
becsei_gyorgy
Posts: 171
Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2019 19:55 CET
Location: Szeged, Hungary

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#42

Post by becsei_gyorgy »

A fairly wide genre framework was given this month, and even a piece or two of it slipped out of it. So it is very difficult to compare them, like apples and oranges.
There are songs in which I liked the ideas, there are songs in which the possibilities (could be worked out with a little work), there are some that, while well-crafted in terms of mix, hold less excitement.

SoundBeing - Game Over
Nice Knight Rider intro, I like it :)
I like the theme, the video game style. However, there is a lot of reverb in some places, the stereo space is also a weird bit (phasing issues).
And if you take on the world of 100% chiptune, it would be better.
I like the composition very much but the sounds, the mix should improve a little – or a little more :). Nice job overall.

alavault - Scènes
Opening with good bass, definitely Depeche feeling when the drums also arrive.
Good opening, pleasant synth-pop song promises - however, the guitar breaks that feeling.
After the first break Instead of the guitar, I would have chosen synth sounds (not just because of the genre of the month).
I like the second guitar solo part better (3:24- ), it lies better in the mix and fits better here.
Nice pad element in background.
Overall an interesting journey, I like that there is a lot of emotion in the song.
The composition is not a round whole, it consists of several separate parts, which, are not really connected. However, they are individually exciting and good.

EsteveCorbera - ElectroGuai
Good instrument choices for the genre.
Composition: The drums could have a little more variation, both rhythmically and acoustically.
Under 120HZ there is no sub sound, it would definitely be worth a sub bass layer.
Mix: Sometimes (mostly at the last part) there are very resonant sounds, you would have to suppress them a bit.
Overall nice electronical song, i can imagine it as background music for videos etc.

gruskada - Where are you?
Good, exciting start, interesting and good sounds. 0:40- I like the piano part.
In the second part the balance of the instruments is not the most perfect, it could be corrected a bit on the mix.
I liked the composition (which is done from it) I feel a little short, not really a full song.
Accentuated guitars and surprise choir :) with piano parts - I think less electronical than most of songs (despite having many synthesizers in it). But nice work overall, maybe it should be expanded a bit.

Mellow Browne - WipeOut
Nice atmospheric background.
I like the mood of the song
Maybe a little more electro vibe would come in handy (like 1:21- ) so that there aren’t that dry, monotonous drums in the foreground - although I know that’s the style :)
oh and i would rather exchange the bubble effects (2:22- ) for something else :)
On the other hand, a pleasant, well-put together song, really OK.

emeraldarcana - The Fight For All Who Live
Nice intro, I like the bass and (1:07- ) I like the drum sounds. Great 80's.
Basically good ideas, I like the mix of late 80's-90's synth-pop style and trance elements.
I like the instrument choices separately too, but often too many things want to play at once.
(For example, from the beginning to the end, a choir (synth-choir?) is in the background and sometimes is so loud. Should disappear sometimes.)
The elements (whether I look at the composition or the mix) need to separate. The dynamics are also a bit low.
With a good mix could be a whole good song, there are valuable things in it in terms of both composition and soundwise, but there is still a bit of work.

AskAndy - lotta cream in your butter pie
Interesting experiment, interesting effects and undoubtedly electronical.

VCA-089 - Storm Warning
Nice intro.
Good sounds, there could be a little more playfulness with stereo space and sounds (filters, etc).
Overall, a well-structured, pleasant song. Great job.

JackPisso - Electronic Glitters
Little bit psy trance feeling electronical music.
No treble in the song, over 5-6K completely empty.
Small high clicks are often more distracting than good effects.
Overall I like it, this psy-movement is very good and the general mood is also OK.

canese - Nothing But Grass
Interesting start. The breaks should be worked out better, they are not interesting enough (or is it not exciting enough just because of the wrong mix?), but the chorus part is completely OK in terms of composition.
Slightly dark, muddy background.
Wants to be a whole good dance song, but lacks the punchiness that should be good (and very quiet for a dance track). It's all washed out a bit.
I think a bit overlimited waveform.
Too bad for the mix because the chorus part really sells the song, you always make interesting and exciting hooks, it has become so good too. Nice work. I like the idea and the good chorus part.

functionform - Simple Creatures
Great funky vibe :) Good little JunkieXL songs came to mind about this :)
I don't know where to put this song because sample base funky isn't really an electronic genre I think.
On the other hand, putting together a lot of small parts could have been a big job. And it worked well :)
which is good that there is nothing wrong with monocompatibility because the song is mono almost all the way :)
Joking aside, the song is good, cleverly put together, I like it. Great job.

So oranges and apples, follow the evaluation with that kind of eye, it was pretty hard to put together (overall could even be in reverse order really), but something needs to be written:
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becsei_gyorgy
Posts: 171
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Location: Szeged, Hungary

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#43

Post by becsei_gyorgy »

@Mister Fox
Thank you for the very valuable feedback.
Mister Fox wrote:
Sun May 23, 2021 20:59 CEST
maybe use some panning
Yes it is absolutely true that there is no play with panning on either the hats or the synth tracks.
I thought about it during the making, but then I didn’t have time to finish perfectly and the beautification was left out :)
Mister Fox wrote:
Sun May 23, 2021 20:59 CEST
maybe "crash cymbals" (with 1/4th delay "fading out" over 1-2 bars) ever so often might be of interest
The crash cymbals, on the other hand, might be a bit much, I wanted to make the song a more restrained, intimate sound. But I couldn’t stand my epic blood and it still became louder, more cheeky than it should have been :)
Mister Fox wrote:
Sun May 23, 2021 20:59 CEST
The "scraping synth" in the 3:30 part clashes a bit frequency wise with the other synth sounds... but that's also personal preference.
perfect observation, I was planning to separate 2 synth tracks using dynamic eq (and/or panning), I just forgot to do it.

Thank you for the feedback again, I really appreciate it.
alavault
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#44

Post by alavault »

Feedback :
@SoundBeing ::
Sounds like a very fitting soundtrack for a video game. Which makes it great in the background...
I think it's lacking some interest, I really can't quite get the righ words here sorry..
Great choices of sounds overall : it paints a very interesting and moving soundscape. The lead are a bit too boring for me. I would have prefer 8-bit lead or at the very least something less clean, especially when the soundscape is already quite bold.
The mix feels very wide, almost sickening on headphones. And a bit muddy.
Overall : great sonics and ideas, unfortunately lacking some overall interest.
***
@EsteveCorbera ::
Vibey track, with an interesting developement. The middle section feels slightly out of place : while I really like the harmony taking place here (lots of intersting stuff : I want to know more please), this part takes a slight turn that "bothers" me because I didn't expect it. I'm no saying it's a drastic scene change, but just enough to raise an eyebrow (and add interest overall).
I have nothing to say about the mix : clean and concise.
Overall, vibey track with very interesting middle section, very "soundtracky".
***
@gruskada ::
Starts strong and stay strong : great stuff.
Great idea to use choirs and guitar accents : it works very well within the song.
I find the drum pattern to be very off putting, and not really working with the song.
In terms of the mix, the balance feels off.
Overall : While this song has very strong structure and ideas, rhythmic parts and off-putting balance ruin the fun.
***
@becsei_gyorgy ::
Wonderful atmosphere and interesting the whole time ! Great job !
All the different parts are well crafted and work very well with each other.
The main problem : the kick. Overpowering until the end where it gets slightly lost. So close to perfect...
Overall : vibey and interesting, an awesome production !
***
@Mellow Browne ::
Driving drums, groovy bass and a taste of atmospheric pad in a well structured song !
I don't have much to say here. Everything feels where it should be.
Maybe some more edge on the mix (with a saturator/tape emulation) ?
Overall : Very polished and interesting. Excellent work !
***
@emeraldarcana ::
Starts as orchestral trance and then goes to more trancy vibe.
The drums sound does not really do it for me (I have to agree, I hate this kind of drum sound). Fortunately, the song is good enough to make me forget about them ^^'
The mix is very dense. Too dense. You have a lot of parts, and they don't really blend together all the time (mostly pads that are too prominent). Sad...
Overall : awesome intro, unfortunately the song is let down by a crowed mix, somewhat ruining some good ideas...
@AskAndy ::
While the intro reminds me of "On the Run", the part after 1:35 really did not do it for me : Too avant-garde.
Nonetheless, the creativity effort put into this piece should be noted.
Overall : avant-garde piece, definitely electronic music.
@VCA-089 ::
1980s, here we go...
Great choice of sounds to make the vibe.
Great mix : everything falls in place nicely.
Overall : well, strong song, with strong production.
@JackPisso ::
Vibey and atmospheric while maintaining the listener's interested.
Some weird rhythm happens here and there (e.g @25-29s). Maybe a sync delay with a bad setup ? This is unfortunately distracting.
The mix is good, but I feel the parts could benefit from a bit more separation level wise (e.g 1:50s, a lot of things are happening and I don't really know where to focus... Or maybe Im just stupid).
Overall : vibe and production are good, but there are little glitches and balances that I feel ruin (just a little bit) the fun.
@canese ::
Very dancy track. But lacks a bit of excitement, although the different parts work great.
I would say the mix it "at fault" here. It lacks a bit of punch and pumping/excitement. Too bad...
Overall : a unique dance track, very hooky, but lacking the extra-bit what would have made it awesome. Sad...
@functionform ::
This is closer to funk or fusion than electronic music for me...
It's groovy (obviously).
While I suspect there is a lot a sampling involved here, I'm not really convinced it fits this month's theme. Given all the other entries, yours stands out. Fortunately, in a good way.
The mix is solid and clear. Great job here.
Overall : original and interesting with great production. Possibly out-of-topic ?
***
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canese
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#45

Post by canese »

Hello everybody, glad to hear from you this month.

Here are my feedbacks:

SoundBeing_Game Over
INteresting texture from start. I 'd love to hear this in an indie videogame. It's a masterpiece, it has ear candies, great synth lines. BUt the thing I liked the most is the mix, is perfect. Can you elaborate in your mix process/tips?
alavault_scenes
Cool vibe. Solid melodies and ideas. I didn't find a main theme, somehow there is silver lining missing to join all the elements and parts in the song. Crash cymbals are too organic, they don't match the other timbres from the drum kit. Nice break with the guitar. I feel it wants to be synthwave or 80s, but drum kit doesn't convience me. Bass also is to dry, I would put some chorus/detune to make it less in your face.
EsteveCorbera ElectroGuai
COol Synts, ambience. I think mixing could improve this track by a lot. Drums are not punchy enough, and their timbre could be a little more organic, to match the happy go lucky vibe of the melodies and harmonies. This is kind of drum timbre I hear in darker more upbeat tracks, except the cowbells.
gruskada_Where Are You?
Instant moving from the start, but then the piano put me in off. Its cool and everything with those descending fast lines but I was expecting something more energetic, same with the aahhhs and the cheesy piano. I was hoping to hear something more synthetic and hard, from the feel I got in the begining. Drums were also not very well executed.
Becsei György - Eternity
Overall is solid. VEry good synth selection and puting all the diferent elements together. I enjoy the timbres and the melodies, they give an interesting feeling. Not a fan of the female voice in this one, also the drum kit could have been chosen with more care. Kick seems to simple for this kind of epicness.
MellowBrowne_WipeOut
It lacks speed. I would love to hear this 1.25x or more. Sidechain I feel could improve the mix. Sidechain all padds, all basses to the kick and snare. That harp arpeggio is cool, That part I buy it. That second part defenitely is some quality liquid DnB.
EmeraldArcana_The Fight For All Who Live
INteresting ideas and drum effects. I don't get the genre, maybe trance, maybe it would fit in a videogames. It lack energy sometimes and becomes boring. Maybe because of a lead instrument telling a story through a melodie. We heare many elements colliding but nothing original and worth paying attention. Mixing is okay. Structure is wierd, I don't get the parts. Maybe trying ABAB or ABCBA, or something more common for a start.
Askandy_ lotta cream in your butter pie
Wierd but I like it. This is some creativity flowing right through. I love the granular synths or whatever they are. They have a grit and texture from other world. I feel disoriented and ansious sometimes but I can't stop moving my head.
VCA-089 - Storm Warning
intro was interesting. Then the energy droped a lot. Became very static and not exciting. Some kind of cheesy romantic melodies I've heard many times. Drum save the song. Also mix is kind of bad, drums are burried and it lacks some high mid frecuencies in the song.
JackPisso "Electronic Glitters"
I feel a Jean Michelle Jaar vibe here. Mix doesn't help the good elements, like the kick is too burried. A good balanced mix would improve this song by a lot. Also I feel the same from the begining, I would love to hear a part B or something to change the mood
functionform Simple Creatures
Its definetly something, but not what I had in mind for electronic music. Good vocal chops, nice effects (delay, flanger). The song it's catchy and it hits. I like it


and the vote:
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emeraldarcana
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#46

Post by emeraldarcana »

Voting and feedback. I first did a genre guess, then left my comments as I listened. I also randomly reordered the list and listened and commented right away.


becsei_gyorgy - "Eternity" - House. Enjoying the vocal sample in this one. Very old-school house style here. The kick is nice and boomy, but I think the sound is a little sparse and we could have used a midrange pad to really fill things out. There's also a little mixing inconsistency where things felt a little too loud when I would have expected them to be more in the background. Some of the instruments sounded a little dry and could have used more reverb to improve the sound placement. I still really like the overall arrangement and the mood behind this. The vocal sounds in this are good.

Mellow Browne - "WipeOut" - Drum and Bass. I felt that I wanted something to happen before 0:50. The kick is a little overpowering relative to the rest of the song - a bit too much low-end leading to muddiness. I think I would have liked a little more drum-play earlier in the song. I enjoy the break at around 1:48. The ethereal pads sound really nice and are placed well in the mix. Good use of noise riser. Not sure what I think of the high arp break, but I really liked the drop back to the drums. I liked many of the sound in this one.

AskAndy - "lotta cream in your butter pie" - Trap. It's kind of trap-like, but it's a little more experimental I think. There's a lot of harmonics in this one, a lot of polymeter, and just a bunch of general cacophony. I'm not really a stranger to experimental noise music. I like the voice clip (it grounds us), the LFO that cycles around some of the lead instruments, and the really harsh harmonics. The kick, strangely enough, grounds us to a beat. When we get to 2:03 it's actually a good break - I kind of wish we stayed there a little longer and explore that part more. This was sonically interesting. Good job.

canese - "Nothing But Grass" - House. That is a sweet bass to lead off the song, and then we get right into the house-like beat. Good balance of low and high elements. The mixing and production in this one is very clean, everything is well-separated and very crisp. We introduce new elements like clockwork, like a house track does. The lead sounds quite good, and has a really nice playful melody. We go down into a pretty mad descent around 1:40 - I'm not quite sure what I think about that as a break, it's very daring for the track which has been relatively conservative up until that point! Even though I marked this song as House, I don't quite know if it quite fits into the House mould exactly. Regardless, the production/mixing was really crisp and the composition was interesting and the groove was good.

gruskada - "Where are you?" - Progressive - There's some cool melodic ideas in this one. I like some of the instruments. A LOT is going on here and they individually sound cool. I think that the song would benefit if the ideas were separated a bit more so that it's more clear what the main elements to listen to were at any point. Besides that, the bass is killer and there's a guitar-like lead that sounds really nice too, both melodically and sound-wise.

functionform - "Simple Creatures" - Funk/Rock - This is not what I'd associate with "electronic", despite the extensive use of sampling. Still, the song is funky, it has some thrash to it, and a really cool guitar solo. This has a really nice rhythm and groove.

JackPisso - "Electronic Glitters" - Synthwave - The rhythmic arp is all kinds of cool in this. The lead I think could stand to groove a little more - it's a little sparse and even though it has that non-quantized feel to it that adds some humanity, I think tighter playing would make this groove out more. Around 1:45 when the chords really start to shine through and the progression develops it starts to really feel epic and grand! That was my favorite part of this one.

VCA-089 - "Storm Warning" - Synthwave. This has all kinds of retro to it, from the huge electronic Disco drums to the analog-pulse bass. I enjoyed the DX7-like FM bells, the drums (especially those toms), and that synced synth lead. I thought the melody around 1:08 could have stuck out a little more, but is a pretty minor comment. Everything is mixed clearly, and the arrangement sounded great, with a break just when we needed it and interesting countermelodies. This was a strong entry!

EsteveCorbera - "ElectroGuai" - Progressive - This is light and airy, with a cool snare loop and a lead drowned in reverb. It's somewhat genre-ambiguous, since it doesn't have the driving force of EDM, but it doesn't have the ambiguity of ambient music either. It's really bright, cheery, and hopeful and is overall really uplifting. I like the filter-sweep lead a lot. The pad in 1:40 muddies things up a little - maybe would have liked to have seen more space made for that pad when it comes in. The song also feels like it repeats - some more variation would have been nice (or you could have made it shorter) and an end on the tonic would have been satisfying also. I liked the overall mood in this one.

SoundBeing - "Game Over" - Chiptune - This has chiptune written all over it. Interesting sound design, frantic, and chaotic. I think that's exactly what this track was aiming for and it does a good job. I like the drum break around 0:45. I think we could have done with more melodic variations after the melody return at 1:10. For the first break, we have more of the same again, but this time with a really nice "table saw" sound effect. I think we could have gone even more chaotic and frenetic in this section, or possibly have done with a more drastic change of rhythm. I think the section after the drop was fun, though it sounds pretty similar to the ideas that we heard before. Bringing in that cool solo earlier would have been good for this one. This was cool, lots of stuff happened, and there's a lot of interesting ideas.

alavault - "Scènes" - Techno - The introduction (other than the three seconds of silence) is really promising, with huge bass and driving drums. The initial snares seem a bit lacking in body, but we get big reverbed snares soon afterward. I think it would have been good to get that full impact sooner, though. Despite its sparseness, the driving rhythm and drum changes give this a lot of interest. We have some guitar around 1:30 which gives this a really industrial rock feeling. The guitar playing here is super solid, but it's a little buried in the mix and I think it deserves to stand out. I don't know what I think about the Japanese voice clips, it is a huge contrast to what we heard before and I think some preview that we're going to go off into a different territory would have helped. I think we could have done without the major chord modulation break also, it made the song quite long. Good guitar solo and really great driving bass rhythms, those are clearly the stars of the show here!

And some comments on my own track:

emeraldarcana - "The Fight For All Who Live" - progressive trance - I was going for an "epic RPG battle" feel here, so I used a lot of orchestral instruments with backing synth tracks and epic cinematic drums. There's two time signature changes - the song starts in 6/8 and then shifts to 4/4. I wanted to make the lead melody a little meandering to start and then add the galloping rhythm to increase tension. The break in the middle was intended an an excuse to add in some supersaws. In general, the structure is ABCBA. Listening to this again a few days after submitting, I could have separated the elements a little more to give the bass more space relative to the supersaw harmony and the melody. I read the comments and I can see where reviewers are coming from, I will spend more time on this after the challenge to improve the song. Thanks to all who've listened so far.

And for the votes:
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SoundBeing
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#47

Post by SoundBeing »

canese wrote:
Mon May 31, 2021 00:15 CEST
Can you elaborate in your mix process/tips?
Hey canese,

Thanks for your kind words. I really spent a lot of time with this track. I cut up some Casio sounding drum fills and added variation with and without reverb. I agonized over the kick and snare sounds and I automated the reverbs to be heavy at times and non-existent at other times, especially with regards to the keyboard stabs. I also relied a lot on envelopes (Wah, flanger, phaser, tremlo) to add movement and depth to the front and back of the mix.

[*]Some trickier stuff, I put a -6db compressor as a side-chain insert to the deep drone bass so that when the actual bass instrument hit, the drone was reduced at that time by 6 dbs so the track didn't spike the lower register for those moments. :smack:

I was definitely going for the video game vibe from the start. I rely heavily on a spectrum analyzer while mixing so that I know where my frequencies are. And too, I owe a shout out to Mr. Fox :hail: for reminding me to check my lower register instruments, specifically the kick and bass gtr. It can be an asset to turn in a song rather early as you are given the chance to make adjustments according to the recommendations of others.

My favorite part of this song in particular was getting the ebow guitar and wah pedal just right. I wanted the feel and vibe to be consistent enough with the mood of the song to sound Electronic, but I wanted too to get it in a groove pocket that felt just right. I also wanted to get it in one full take, which took me 13 passes. :help:

With regards to the "phase issues". I intentionally added reverse phase to my lead instrument in a few places. And I"m wondering if the stereo widener added some unwanted phase that peeps have mentioned. I'm also wondering if that washy Lexicon reverb is partially the culprit for seeming like phase when its just the reverb pushing the lead instrument into the background for those moments. :confused:
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SoundBeing
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#48

Post by SoundBeing »

I listened to each song at least 2x. On different occasions to identify different things. 1st, my overall impression of what I heard and thought and then 2ndly to be more critical of anything mix wise, whether positive or negative. There was a lot of diversity and obviously we all have very different opinions of what sings and what doesn't. I gave extra kudos for originality. :educate: :clap: :hmmm:

alavault - Scenes

You could start by snipping the 5 seconds of silence at the beginning, but that’s just me being picky, haha.
The synths are great. The drumbeat is not. The kick drum sounds like a tack hitting a piece of paper. This has more of a Depeche Mode/80’s Pop/Rock vibe than electronic music. And the electric guitar just takes it into the wrong direction completely. However, there are some interesting changes here but again, the choices in the drums, like Phil Collins, are not good ones. The addition of the cartoons is interesting, and perhaps the closest thing to unique. The overall song seems unfocused and for me it lacks all of the qualities of the genre. I would have added a fade out at the 5 minute mark. The mix has some nice elements. The pulsing low-end is cool. The ethereal pads are also placed well and move in and around the song nicely. And I do hear some interesting sounds in there that could have really been boosted to add interest and dynamics. Like at 1:58, there’s some little swirl that could have jumped forward for impact. Overall tho, the genre missed the mark the most.

EsteveCorbera - ElectroGui

The hihat has the right detail but some of it’s downbeats are mixed too loud for me. I think this hits the genre pretty well. There’s a nice overall feeling going on here with the ethereal synths and the consistent beat. I noticed in most of the electronic music that I referenced has some breaks in there. This has the same beat for most of the track. There’s a nice addition to the cowbell later, but it starts to sound and feel like a really loud click track. I think you nailed the synths tho. They are really nice. Lots of sweet things going on in there even if they are pretty simple melodically. The left to right action adds a nice movement to the track. It’s getting a little bit into the ambient music vibe here and there. Again, as the song progresses, those hihat strokes become very very out of place. The beat could be louder which might help balance that out, but I”m not sure.

gruskada - Where are you?

It feels like it’s taking a long time to establish some sort of actual song. I’m a minute in and it sounds like a synth jazz band. On the break you borrow from “Summertime, and the living is easy…” The drums are really not doing anything remotely electronic music wise other then they were programmed. This is a very disjointed track. Not enough here to really resemble a full song. It kind of just fizzles out to the end. Mix wise, the drums could be much more impactful if they were in the front rather than the back, with the exception of the reversed cymbal, that could come down. In the break, I do like the build up of the sonic structure to the melody.

bescsei_gyorgy - Eternity

That’s a dance beat! This song has the vibe right away and fits the genre well. I like how it is building with the drums. I feel like I can get my glow-sticks out for this one. And it’s nice to have the breaks in there. That, for me, is a key component to the genre. The arrival of the beeping sounds is cool too. Nice job here. I’m feeling it. and the overall mix feels on point. There’s a shift at the 3 minute mark where the fem vocal becomes a little too much, but the crunchy synth adds a nice texture. It would be nice if your last drop had some real weight to it. You kind of keep creeping things in instead of having that really heavy hard hit. That’s the one thing I would suggest for this track. Good work.

Mellow Browne - WipeOut

This has a very pop music Pharrell kind of vibe off the top. I think you would have done yourself a favor by making the hihat do something different. By adding some triplets or variation to bring the electronic music vibe to the forefront. I like what transpires at the 1:20 mark with that excited synth part. It’s a nice evolution to the track. The mouth noise is probably the most interesting thing about the track for me, haha. There’s nothing really new here tho. You have a breakdown that goes half time and then just stops only to restart. I would have liked to have heard/felt it keep going there with something on the downbeat. A pulse or kick or something to move the song along. Going from half time to space kills the momentum for me. But the end of the track reestablishes rather quickly. There are subtle variations that add momentum to the track. That arpeggio could do a whole lot more for you if you evolved it. Maybe added an envelope filter or varied it’s tone from one section of the song to another. The mix is ok. Nothing stands out as magical tho either.

EmeraldArcana - The Fight For All Who Live

This is a very anthemic type of song on the start. It has a movie sound track quality. The pointy synth melody is maybe a little off. I think a different sound would have been more appropriate to blend with the overall smooth and silky sound scape you’ve created. I’m not sure this has the Electronic Music vibe I was/am thinking of. I always get a “dance” vibe when I think of electronic music. I think if you had a more heavy handed drum beat you would be doing your self a favor in that department. The evolution of the song gets there at the 2:30 minute mark and it really has the genre vibe from there on. Overall nice work. It would be nice to have a little more bottom end overall, but I like the synths and the movement of the song.

Ask Andy - lotta cream in your butter pie

This is a weird track for sure. But I like it. I really enjoy when someone steps out of the norms to give the listener something fresh, tho be it very odd. Some of the sounds are a little harsh, however. I find the kick to be very rooting and holding the movement together. And I love the “you must embrace the tempo”. It’s very tongue and cheek. Because the song is so odd, it probably would have been smart to unify the track with the kick. Instead of varying it, that disturbs the motion a bit for me. When the kick holds steady, the thing holds me. I think you put a lot of work into this and I appreciate that very much. If you could ease some of those sizzlely sounds, you’d have a better song, IMO. Overall, kudos for the creativity and I look forward to hearing more of your work in the future.

VCA-089 - Storm Warning

This has a very 80’s synth vibe. Unfortunately the drums are a little too pop rock to put this in the electronic music genre for my taste. The synths and the pulsing bass are nice. But yeah, that kick and snare with the Phil Collins tom fills take me out of it completely. There’s just too many drum things going on in here. I”m having trouble following the song. There’s a nice break from all the drums that help get the song back on track. You are obviously a very talented synth player and I can appreciate that very much. I like the long drawn out reverb and sonic scape ending. Some good, some not so good, and some great!

JackPisso - Electronic Giitters

First off, I hate that I have to download your song to listen to it. I’m much more of a stream kind of guy. No offense, just my personal preference. Ok, as for the song, I really like the sounds you have playing around front to back and side to side. There is a really nice movement to the beginning of the track even without a heavy handed drum beat. Around a minute in, I’m hoping the song evolves a bit into something more. There is the introduction of some new sounds but the feeling is still quite linear and stagnant. Again, you’ve some really nice sounds here but I think the song could use a little more action. This entire song feels like an intro to something where the bass drops and kicks into full blown dance groove, but it never really goes anywhere. Sorry. Not my vibe for electronic music.

canese - Nothing But Grass

Nice entrance. Very interesting sounds and I like the drums right away. Simple, dancey. This has the electronic music vibe for sure. You could have made a more interesting snare, but the synth drops into some cools places. Overall, I think the drums could hit a little harder. Disco hi hat is cool, but you certainly could have made that do some dancing of its own in places. When you re-enter after the dropout and then drop out again you lose me for that moment. You have me again around 2:20 tho. Really cool growling synth in there. You certainly have a lot of drop outs. Too many maybe. Back in at 3:05, I hope this one lasts a while. If I was on the dance floor I’d want it to keep up. By the time you get to the 4:00 mark I would have liked more action in the track. It just kind of fizzles out for the last 30+ seconds.

functionform - Simple Creatures

Cool groove. The horns a real nice. The shaker is just too disjointed to the song. Too loud, too up front, too raw. I think the song would be much better without it entirely and that is unfortunate because the rest of the song is groovy. The bass sits well and is in a nice sonic place until the guitar solo. Then it gets boomy and seems a little out of control. The two melodies in the horns and plucked/percussion are fighting each other a little. Might be nice to either use them sparingly and not at the same time or separate them far out left and right. Ah, I love it when the shaker goes away. Your guitar stuff is cool but it’s all over the soundscape. Left to right, echos, delays, reverbs. It might have given an anchor for that moment had it just been placed as a rooted instrument instead of an airy washy one. Overall there are a great groove here that is distracted by the shaker. You could have done better with a cowbell or some other percussive treble instrument that sat in the mix instead of on top of it. I dig your groove tho, nice work on that. With a better mix, you’d be in a great place. You have a lot of elements that are attractive, but they sit on top of each other.
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EsteveCorbera
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#49

Post by EsteveCorbera »

Good night guys

Thanks for the comments you've made so far. They are always very interesting. I try to improve each contest thanks to your comments.
Here is my opinion (translated with google):

SoundBeing_Game Over
The more I listen to it, the more I like it. It really looks like you’ve been playing a video game for years. Fast and frantic. I like the panoramic opening you put.
In the end it may become too repetitive.

alavault_scenes
Because of my taste and my conception of what I understand as electronic music, you’ve put on too much guitar. I make this guitar and drums from other genres. But he has an 80s Jan Hammer roll that’s fine.
Of course, I really like the atmosphere you put down with the synths.
I feel my sleep a little crushed, maybe open the panorama a little more?

gruskada_WhereAreYou
There’s something weird, that doesn’t just tie or go together, I don’t know how to express it.
The final 60-70 type sound is fine. This piano improvisation is cool. But the end is strange.
Stereo effects are fine.

becsei_gyorgy_Eternity
I love your experiments. Ethnic voices are cool.
I like the elongated sound you give to the synths from 2:00 onwards.
I may find the subject a little too long. In the end it ends up being too repetitive.
The kick is too present and not very varied.
The sound is very good, interesting panoramic and depth.
The video is curious.

MellowBrowne_WipeOut
It has a touch of Chill out. The subject becomes long and too repetitive. Halfway through, I lost interest. But the mixing job is pretty good. Constant pads end up being monotonous.

EmeraldArcana_The Fight For All Who Live
That's all right. The interesting initial percussion, very cinematic. I like the depth of it.
I like the first half, the middle part loses a bit of interest, but I get it back in the third part of the theme. The agreements you have in the background could have evolved a bit, they are too obvious.

Askandy - lotta cream in your butter pie
Too rare. These weird sounds and the sampler of the humama voice!
The sound effects are great. I like the effects game and the panorama.
But the subject lacks something to help keep it going. Experimental mass. Absolute electronics !!
Risky proposal, certainly !!

VCA-089_-_Storm_Warning
Hey, a great start to the Tangerine Dream. The 80's sound is very cool.
Maybe you need to open panoramic. Listening to it with my headphones seemed a bit overwhelmed. There are times when it sounds like video game music, but I’m not saying it in any negative sense.

JackPisso_Electronic_Glitters
It has an interesting random look. I guess you wanted to simulate a modular system that looks great in this month's proposal. Have you used any kind of saturation to increase the harmonics?
I like the sound effects that fill the panorama, but maybe they are a little too prominent.
I like your theme.

canese - nothing but grass
I like the beginning of your topic. The synth notes that describe the main melody with the delay you put in it are great. Of course, maybe in the end it becomes a bit repetitive. Maybe you could have expanded the panorama further. But the subject is good.

functionform_SimpleCreatures
This is not electronic music !!
The most different proposal of the month. I wouldn’t know how to classify it.
You play little with the panorama. Everything is very much in the center. Only the final vocals and guitars gain in depth and pan. There is little content on the higher frequencies.
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Mister Fox
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC045 May 2021 - Voting until 01-JUN-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#50

Post by Mister Fox »

A friendly reminder:
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