2024-MAR-01 Info: Check out Songwriting Competition 079 if you're into "Synthwave" music making.

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
celiodie

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#21

Post by celiodie »

I tried to fix everything on both Soundcloud & drive in the original post.
Rowan

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#22

Post by Rowan »

So hard to give out the points, everything was very interesting and close! Here are my thoughts of what I noticed and how it fit the theme...



Becsei György - Monophobia

The song and mix fit the theme well. I dig the fingersnaps. Also the vocal lines are a very good match for the song. The song flows naturally and has a good build-up. Nice production overall.


TrojakEW - Hope

I thought it fit the genre well, but I found it hard to hear theme somewhere. The rhythm is really chill, and the vocal lines are very creative. The reversed sounds fit well, and the break (1:25 - 1:54) was refreshing.


Esteve Corbera - Descans

For me there wasn't a lot of space. Depth-wise everything felt kinda in the same spot in the background, and then the vocal & synth melody feel kind of pasted on there upfront, if that makes sense. Such a strange, eerie and creative song though!


VCA-089 - Psychedelic Sea

Production-wise I thought it fit the theme well. I like how you pitched the snaredrum. Lovely melodies also that start at 1:30. Also how the song develops is nice, I like how the ending gets a bit raw.


celiodie - Nightmall

There is definately a sense of breathing and spaceiousness in the rhythm. I like the 80's drumkit and the synthline at 2:05 is very soothing. Though, every x amount of time the snare feels to early (e.g. at 00:38, 00:46 and 01:18)? It pulls me out of the vibe you have going on.


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Last edited by Rowan on Thu Aug 26, 2021 11:22 CEST, edited 1 time in total.
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Mister Fox
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#23

Post by Mister Fox »

Thanks @Rowan and @celiodie, just updated the global song collection post. All songs are now downloadable.
celiodie

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#24

Post by celiodie »

celiodie - Nightmall

There is definately a sense of breathing and spaceiousness in the rhythm. I like the 80's drumkit and the synthline at 2:05 is very soothing. Though, every x amount of bars the snare feels to early? It pulls me out of the vibe you have going on.

Maybe you feel a variation in beat as a "too early"… the SD really doesn't follow a quite regular sequence…

Image
Rowan

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#25

Post by Rowan »

celiodie wrote:
Wed Aug 25, 2021 23:28 CEST
Maybe you feel a variation in beat as a "too early"… the SD really doesn't follow a quite regular sequence…
I added three timecodes as example to explain what I mean when they take me out of the vibe :)
TrojakEW

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#26

Post by TrojakEW »

Comment for all:
I again include some basic statistics to compare. This time again I will include also statistics for mono mixdown to compare. Hope I do not make mistake while writing those numbers. This is just for fun and my own way to test and improve my own skill in regards of making fully mono compatible track while making it as wide as possible in stereo. Comparing and analyzing other tracks also help me to understand the cause of problem. Will not do that in future rounds.

Because feedback so far is quite short, I hope I will show you how you should make your feedback. Describing track using one sentence is not very satisfactory. Sometimes using critics, for me every time and point to problems with more the one sentence is better then using simple "friendly" words like good track. Critics should help us to improve our self.

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becsei_gyorgy - Monophobia

Great theme. I really do like the mood and chill feel. Combination piano with guitar is cool. Guitar panned to right and piano to left create good stage. That speech but also vocal later are too loud especially that woman solo starting at 2:17 and later at 4:14. It stick too much out of track. It is unbalanced. Also in regards of volume/amplitude balance, that finger snap/clap or what it is is even louder and it break the mood. It is distracting and take away all attention in first minute. There are some minor problems regarding phase correlation in piano. Nothing serious but in low frequencies spectrum correlation goes to negative values. Problematic frequencies are up to around 600Hz. Later that plucky sound that is introduced around 2:50 has bigger phase problem. I was able to analyze it thanks to exposed part later around 3:01. It does not disappear when playback in mono but it is loosing bit of power compared to the beat. See the screen and red color in phase correlation meter.
Image
Composition, instrument choice is great. I do really like your ideas overall.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -10.0 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -11.9 LUFS
Integrated loudness -14.9 LUFS
Loudness range 6.9 LU
True peak L -0.97dB
True peak R -0.93dB
DC offset L 0.000% (-111.2dB)
DC offset R 0.000% (-112.7dB)
Statistics Mono:
Max momentary loudness -11.2 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -12.8 LUFS
Integrated loudness -16.1 LUFS
Loudness range 6.5 LU
True peak L -1.00dB
True peak R -1.00dB
Difference:
Max momentary loudness 1.2 LUFS
Max short-term loudness 0.9 LUFS
Integrated loudness 1.2 LUFS
Loudness range 0.4 LU
True peak L 0.03dB
True peak R 0.07dB


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Rowan - Finer Than Before

Interesting mood and idea. It have kind of laidback feel but you can still feel the tension in space and that is good thing in regards of SWC theme. Now the composition for me is too simple. What I mean it is too pop style and repeating kind of what most people do in these days. I'm not saying it is bad but I do like more changes and more different breaks to the main theme. Mix in regarding overall frequencies spectrum seems balanced but there are issues there. Most problematic for me is that plucky lead that start at 0:28 and later at 3:41. There are some nasty resonation in this sounds that pierce my ears. It make it hard for me to listen to those parts.
Image
This pluck also have some minor phase issues. It sounds like the same instrument but played octave lower at for example more exposed part at 2:50. Looks like problems in decay phase of sound in frequencies bellow around 500Hz. Similar resonation are at the end with that different pluck/guitar at 4:10. Well I'm getting older and my ears are not what they were before but I still hear those problems. As I said the idea of track with keeping that tension is great but composition and mix making the track less interesting for me.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -9.9 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -11.9 LUFS
Integrated loudness -14.9 LUFS
Loudness range 6.0 LU
True peak L -0.87dB
True peak R -0.89dB
DC offset L -0.002% (-92.3dB)
DC offset R -0.002% (-94.7dB)
Statistics Mono:
Max momentary loudness -10.4 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -12.3 LUFS
Integrated loudness -15.4 LUFS
Loudness range 5.6 LU
True peak L -0.93dB
True peak R -0.93dB
Difference:
Max momentary loudness 0.5 LUFS
Max short-term loudness 0.4 LUFS
Integrated loudness 0.5 LUFS
Loudness range 0.4 LU
True peak L 0.06dB
True peak R 0.04dB


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EsteveCorbera - Descans

For me it looks like there are two different tracks played at once here. The problem is vocal tracks. It is like the singer do not care what other musicians playing and she just trying to outshoot them. Different scale, different room and too upfront. It think without that vocal track will be much better. Now it is making really weird "dissonances (can't find the right word to describe this)" every time when vocal is used. Yes you pointed that it is first time you used vocals in track but still, your should hear that it dos not belong/fit there. You need to tweak and adjust the vocal to fit scale/chords and theme of your track. That "second" track behind the vocal is interesting. Some interesting instruments with interesting mood. But even here without the vocal you have some problem regarding amplitude balance. Example is that brassy synth pluck at 1:22 being too loud compared to the rest of instruments. It also have bit of resonances that make it hard to listen especially when it takes all attention in this part.
Image
So hope you will get better with vocals next time you use them. It takes a lot of work to implement them correctly especially when you use phrases.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -7.8 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -10.3 LUFS
Integrated loudness -15.0 LUFS
Loudness range 6.0 LU
True peak L -1.45dB
True peak R -2.44dB
DC offset L -0.003% (-90.7dB)
DC offset R -0.002% (-92.2dB)
Statistics Mono:
Max momentary loudness -11.3 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -12.7 LUFS
Integrated loudness -16.2 LUFS
Loudness range 4.6 LU
True peak L -3.45dB
True peak R -3.45dB
Difference:
Max momentary loudness 3.5 LUFS
Max short-term loudness 2.4 LUFS
Integrated loudness 1.2 LUFS
Loudness range 1.4 LU
True peak L 2.00dB
True peak R 1.01dB


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VCA-089 - Psychedelic Sea

Track start with some interesting tension, representing space around us. It is almost like sci-fi movie soundtrack. Change at 1:30 change the mood and make thinks interesting. It is almost like bit of storytelling where the music paint an different image in mind to describe the feeling to transition to different page. Nice idea. Break at 2:15 is good and it add another layer to the story. Melody with piano is nice but with some additional left hand chords could make it more interesting. Now it is more like noodling around with one hand while other hand hold a cup of tea or something for drinking. I like composition and overall feel. What I do not like like stage. It have very mono feel. Most of instruments are positioned in center with very few exception like that tom fill at 3:22. Also piano at the end with that ping pong delay (that I do not like) trying to add some depth. Yes correlation meter stay most of time in positive values, but the result have very narrow stage.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -11.8 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -12.6 LUFS
Integrated loudness -16.5 LUFS
Loudness range 7.9 LU
True peak L -2.98dB
True peak R -2.92dB
DC offset L -0.001% (-97.0dB)
DC offset R -0.001% (-98.3dB)
Statistics Mono:
Max momentary loudness -12.3 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -13.1 LUFS
Integrated loudness -17.2 LUFS
Loudness range 7.8 LU
True peak L -3.04dB
True peak R -3.04dB
Difference:
Max momentary loudness 0.5 LUFS
Max short-term loudness 0.5 LUFS
Integrated loudness 0.7 LUFS
Loudness range 0.1 LU
True peak L 0.06dB
True peak R 0.12dB


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celiodie - Nightmall

Track start too sudden and disturbing. Not something I would like to hear in chillout track. That kind of radio tuning vocal have this disturbing effect every time it is played. The track behind have nice chill mood. Well idea is nice but it feels unfinished. It is almost like same pattern over and over with minor changes. That brassy lead in last part make it more interesting but it is not enough. No break in track and same pattern make it sounds repeating. Mix need more work. Everything is kind of drowned in reverb. Even rhythm pattern including is drowned and especially kick suffer from combing artifact because of delay network in reverb. That disturbing noise and that lead in other hand is too dry compared to the rest. It is almost like that radio and brass player are in your room but the rest of musicians are in the room behind. Also that lead at the end have some nasty resonation when played in higher octave. Yup it tears my ears.
Image
Overall mix sounds muffled. Looks like you cut everything above 10kHz - see picture above. Not sure why you do that. So track have nice idea but it really feels just like unfinished concept and not final track.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -12.2 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -12.7 LUFS
Integrated loudness -14.8 LUFS
Loudness range 3.0 LU
True peak L -1.33dB
True peak R -1.20dB
DC offset L +0.168% (-55.5dB)
DC offset R +0.139% (-57.2dB)
Statistics Mono:
Max momentary loudness -12.6 LUFS
Max short-term loudness -13.8 LUFS
Integrated loudness -15.9 LUFS
Loudness range 3.3 LU
True peak L -1.26dB
True peak R -1.26dB
Difference:
Max momentary loudness 0.4 LUFS
Max short-term loudness 1.1 LUFS
Integrated loudness 1.1 LUFS
Loudness range 0.3 LU
True peak L 0.07dB
True peak R 0.06dB


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► Show Spoiler
Rowan

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#27

Post by Rowan »

TrojakEW wrote:
Fri Aug 27, 2021 12:02 CEST
Because feedback so far is quite short, I hope I will show you how you should make your feedback. Describing track using one sentence is not very satisfactory. Sometimes using critics, for me every time and point to problems with more the one sentence is better then using simple "friendly" words like good track. Critics should help us to improve our self.
I do get what you're saying, feedback should be more in depth I agree. I'll try! But a comment for you: your feedback is 90% on the mix. I believe this is a songwriting challenge, not a mix challenge. So maybe try at least 50/50 composition and mix feedback? :smile: And, I understand a bad mix can take you out of the song, but again, try to focus on the composition more.
TrojakEW

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#28

Post by TrojakEW »

Rowan wrote:
Fri Aug 27, 2021 14:03 CEST
I do get what your saying, feedback should be more in depth. I'll try! But a comment for you: your feedback is 90% on the mix. I believe this is a songwriting challenge, not a mix challenge. So maybe try at least 50/50 composition and mix feedback? :smile: And, I understand a bad mix can take you out of the song, but again, try to focus on the composition more.
Not sure how you did you get to 90% mix feedback. I have covered every aspect of the track including composition. Track suppose to cover all aspects including mix and master. If I see more problems in mix I pointing to mix more. If there is something I do not like or Like or regarding composition or style I will point that out too. You can try to read my comments for other tracks in this round and see what I mean. I always write about things that for me are kind of distracting and make the track worse then it could be if those things were fixed. I do not force you or anyone to write longer review. It is up to you. It is your choice. Your choice is also what your review will look like. If you want concentrate only on composition in your review then go on.

Something that is kind weird with some people that it is looks like they only write something when they must in order to not get disqualified. When the round is over and they have not been chosen (to get prize) the talk is over for them. Many of them don't even congratulate to winners. This is really bad behavior.
Rowan

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#29

Post by Rowan »

TrojakEW wrote:
Fri Aug 27, 2021 14:30 CEST
Rowan wrote:
Fri Aug 27, 2021 14:03 CEST
I do get what your saying, feedback should be more in depth. I'll try! But a comment for you: your feedback is 90% on the mix. I believe this is a songwriting challenge, not a mix challenge. So maybe try at least 50/50 composition and mix feedback? :smile: And, I understand a bad mix can take you out of the song, but again, try to focus on the composition more.
Not sure how you did you get to 90% mix feedback. I have covered every aspect of the track including composition. Track suppose to cover all aspects including mix and master. If I see more problems in mix I pointing to mix more. If there is something I do not like or Like or regarding composition or style I will point that out too. You can try to read my comments for other tracks in this round and see what I mean. I always write about things that for me are kind of distracting and make the track worse then it could be if those things were fixed. I do not force you or anyone to write longer review. It is up to you. It is your choice. Your choice is also what your review will look like. If you want concentrate only on composition in your review then go on.
The 90% was of course just saying. I did not count your words. When I do: actually only your feedback on becsei_gyorgy - Monophobia was 86% on his mix and 66% on mine (did not include your statistics). I guess for someone who is advising others on how to feedback, in a songwriting challenge, you're not doing that much better. You go very in-depth mixing wise, and a bit superficial composition wise in comparison. What I am saying: if you want to tell others how it's done, lead by example ;) !
TrojakEW

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Voting until 01-SEP-2021 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#30

Post by TrojakEW »

Rowan wrote:
Fri Aug 27, 2021 14:59 CEST
The 90% was of course just saying. I did not count your words. When I do: actually only your feedback on becsei_gyorgy - Monophobia was 86% on his mix and 66% on mine (did not include your statistics). I guess for someone who is advising others on how to feedback, in a songwriting challenge, you're not doing that much better. You go very in-depth mixing wise, and a bit superficial composition wise in comparison. What I am saying: if you want to tell others how it's done, lead by example ;) !
I will write same thing that I write before becuase you did not read my post you quoted or not understand it.
"I always write about things that for me are kind of distracting and make the track worse then it could be if those things were fixed."

This mean my feedback for becsei_gyorgy was mostly mix wise because I like the composition and track, so I pointed my feedback to mix that I do not like. Do I have repeat that I like his composition over and over? If I like it as it is what should I tell him more about it?

My feedback is example that you can easilly write more that just one sentence. Content is up to you in your feedback.
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