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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
GMoneh
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Submissions until 24-11-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#31

Post by GMoneh »

I have reuploaded my track incorporating some of the feedback provided:
- Tried to give more body and presence to the kick drum
- EQ vocals to give more low-end
- More crunch to rhythm guitars
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Mister Fox
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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - preparation phase

#32

Post by Mister Fox »

It is the 25th November 2021, 1:21 UTC+1/CET - this month's Songwriting Competition has official ended

A very warm welcome to recurring participants, and also new faces.


STATISTICS:
  • If I didn't miscount, we have 8 submissions this month (0 entries more than last month, 0 more than November 2020)
  • We have 0 submissions after the deadline (as of 25-NOV-2021 1:30 UTC+1/CET)
  • We have 0 submissions that has been disqualified (production released outside of the game's timeframe)
  • We have 0 submissions that have been withdrawn (but counts as entry within the deadline)
  • The "staff balancing vote" add-on rule does not apply (I might add final words regardless / step in if there are ties)
  • "Sole Winners Podium" rule (equal or less than eight participants results in a single winner) does apply (1-position Winners Podium)


:arrow: How do we go from there?

Over the course of the next (hopefully) 24-48 hours (usually up to 6-12 hours maximum after the game has ended), I'll gather all links into one post and hot-link to that from the first post of the thread. Please, no more changes to your entries, but please do check your links that these entries are downloadable. We then perform with the final feedback and "public vote" system.


We have 8 participants. That means that each participant can vote for 7 tracks, the staff will will not cast a balance vote, unless there is a tie that can't be broken (or if it would add a bit more spin to the game).

Please take note of the Rules and Guidelines (see post #7) on giving feedback (mandatory for all participants). Even if you already gave feedback prior to the deadline, please offer some final encouraging words, and maybe give some additional tips for possible improvements on the way. The only main criteria to drop out of the game, is if you do not participate.

Please cast your vote in collective form through the "spoiler text" bbcode, Please use the forum username of the participant to make it easier during the score collection to address what vote belongs to whom. To get an idea how this usually works, please take a look at the last two Songwriting Competition for how your feedback and vote could look like:

SWC050 - Song Collection and follow-up
SWC049 - Song Collection and follow-up



Feedback from non-participants is highly encouraged (voting not needed!). The same goes for entries after the deadline, or those that sadly do not count for the current running game (even if you've exceeded the deadline, why not post your entry regardless?). Musicians and Engineers are always after constructive criticism. This is what this forum is about.




Have some general feedback? Please voice your feedback/opinion/concerns here:
Songwriting Competition - General Gossip Thread



Please have an eye on this thread! :tu:
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Mister Fox
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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Voting until 01-DEC-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#33

Post by Mister Fox »

Let us kick off the VOTING PROCESS, which will end on Wednesday, 01-DEC-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET latest


There is a GLOBAL COUNTDOWN to check for deadlines.
Just follow this link: Global Countdown (on homepage)



Here is the collection of productions from all participants (in hope that I didn't forget anyone). As usual, if you click on the small upwards-arrow right beside the quoted name, you can jump to the original post and read up on the documentation for this production.


.
EsteveCorbera wrote:
Tue Nov 09, 2021 22:43 CET
"Diversio Guitarrera"

alavault wrote:
Thu Nov 18, 2021 09:36 CET
"M1"

MP3: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1z9YQ51 ... sp=sharing
erictracks wrote:
Thu Nov 18, 2021 20:08 CET
"Uptowner"

GMoneh wrote:
Fri Nov 19, 2021 23:37 CET
"Back In Time"

becsei_gyorgy wrote:
Sun Nov 21, 2021 22:39 CET
"Crumbling World"




Bonus Video:
phpBB [media]
Arelem wrote:
Tue Nov 23, 2021 06:24 CET
"Speak The Truth"

VCA-089 wrote:
Tue Nov 23, 2021 18:07 CET
"Desert Machines"



FLAC: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-xmP84 ... sp=sharing
MP3: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bKe7wo ... sp=sharing


Bonus Video (Oscilloscope View)
phpBB [media]
A Future in Noise wrote:
Wed Nov 24, 2021 17:36 CET
"A Very Tragic Little Song"

.



BONUS ENTRIES (submitted after the deadline - feel free to give feedback, but you sadly can not vote for these entries)


<no bonus entries>
.


Please consult the Rules and Guidelines (see post #7) on how your vote could look like. And to make it simple for me for counting the votes - please use the forum usernames in your listing. Thank you!

SWC051 participants giving feedback to each other (to every participant) is mandatory. Ideally, please focus on the "overall experience", and what you think could be improved in a future release of this production (technical or even instrumentation), maybe even provide the occasional tip for mixing. Please be open minded, objective and constructive.


INFORMATION: If you've submitted your entry in multiple file formats, the statistic sheet (posted alongside the results) will focus on the uncompressed material first (WAV), then FLAC, then MP3. The higher the quality, the less possible loss on bonus points for "Loudness Specs" due to offsets introduced by a used CODEC.


Good luck to all participants! :tu:




If you have an idea for a future Songwriting Competition, please post about this in the theme/genre request page.

Also, please join the discussion on Songwriting Competition - Community Scramble - should we change the game concept?. Thank you.
alavault
Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2020 15:00 CEST
Location: Dijon, France

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Voting until 01-DEC-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#34

Post by alavault »

EsteveCorbera - Diversio Guitarrera
Fusion ?
The final version is way better sonically speaking than the first ones : congratulations !
The originality of the submission cannot be denied but I would consider it borderline off-topic.
The use of guitars feel forced and doesn't seem to fit any kind of purpose other than 'I make rock therefore I use guitars"
The dissonances are strong here, between the bass, the guitars and the theme. While I can't argue with the artistic vision, it does not make the submission more interesting.
Conclusion : experiments are great, but I can't find any aesthetic appeal here.

erictracks - Uptowner
Southern rock ?
Interesting themes and great sounding guitars. The execution is excellent, both in terms of playing, production and mixing.
Conclusion : Not much say, an excellent production, well written and mixed.

GMoneh - Back In Time
Funk/Pop rock thingy ?
Quite easy to listen to and catchy chorus, but still not rhythmically tight.
The lead guitar still sound honky and weak. Hit the strings harder (thicker picks help) or add more gain.
The mix is actually quite good in terms of balance but some sounds could be improved (looking at you, lead guitar).
Conclusion : a disappointing submission, since there a great song hidden behind iffy timing and debatable sound choices.

becsei_gyorgy - Crumbling World
Industrial melodeath ?
Already a strong start, agressive vocals and unusual choice of lead instruments.
The songwriting is rock solid (no pun intended) and the production as well : strong structure, well crafted sounds and great mix too !
One thing though, the first time the violin is introduced (the distorted violin sounds great BTW), it covers the lead guitar line and the vocals. I don't think it's the write balance for this part : I would have preferred the vocal forward rather than the violin, especially since it's so hard to understand extreme vocals. And a tad less vox reverb on the verses (maybe ?).
Conclusion : a personal favourite, excellent execution and songwriting 🤘.


Arelem - Speak The Truth
Hard Doom rock ?
Simple and efficient song, straight to the point. There is lack of variety that could be problematic if the song was longer, but it does not cause any problem since it's 2:30
I still have a bone to pick with the synthetic guitars. The tone is good, but I don't think it fits what you are trying to achieve.
Vocals are great : gritty and agressive. Good job here.
The mix is good, but the drum samples do not feel like one cohesive drum kit. And overly clicky kick.
Conclusion : great rock tune, very simple in its form but very well executed.

VCA-089 - Desert Machines
Command & Conquer : Doom Alert ?
Great song here : well constructed with strong transitions. The structure makes it sound closer to an actual soundtrack than a "regular" song.
The themes are interesting and memorable. The ear candy samples are a welcome and fitting addition !
The mix sounds good, maybe a little harsh and thin ?
Conclusion : a strong submission, without major flaw. Another favourite.

A Future in Noise - A Very Tragic Little Song
70s story telling rock ? Reminds me of early Genesis in some way. Anyway...
An actual story in form of a song. Or the other way around ? Anyway, very interesting songwriting with a unusual structure.
The production is excellent : every part is well performed and the choice of sounds is very well fitting the vibe(s). There is not a lot of risk taken (no broken Moog or dog singing) but it serves the song.
I feel there a lack of edge though : it sounds tame and proper. Too tame and proper.
Although, the "choir" is definitely too ambient when asking its question. What did you do then there ?
The mix is good : everything gels well together. The background vocals sounds slightly muddy : thinning them out could make the lead pop out more.
Conclusion : excellent songwriting and storytelling, very chill song. Lack a bit of "edginess" ?
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A Future in Noise
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Voting until 01-DEC-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#35

Post by A Future in Noise »

alavault wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 11:19 CET
I feel there a lack of edge though : it sounds tame and proper.
Thanks for all your kind words, alavault. And what a rapid sheet of feedback! Let me ask, if you're not to busy: Is it the vocals, in the first place, that causes the feeling of not being edgy enough? Many people have pointed out that I should use more power when I sing. Only I can't. And if I try, it definitely doesn't sound any better, and definitely not 'rocky'.

I tried two or three choruses before I decided to go for this one. I guess the current one is rather 'poppish' but IMO it's much catchier than the ones I dropped.
alavault
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Voting until 01-DEC-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#36

Post by alavault »

A Future in Noise wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 15:14 CET
alavault wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 11:19 CET
I feel there a lack of edge though : it sounds tame and proper.
Thanks for all your kind words, alavault. And what a rapid sheet of feedback! Let me ask, if you're not to busy: Is it the vocals, in the first place, that causes the feeling of not being edgy enough? Many people have pointed out that I should use more power when I sing. Only I can't. And if I try, it definitely doesn't sound any better, and definitely not 'rocky'.

I tried two or three choruses before I decided to go for this one. I guess the current one is rather 'poppish' but IMO it's much catchier than the ones I dropped.
Hello A Future in Noise !

First thing first, it's my perception of your song. As long as what you submitted reflect your artistic vision, I (or anybody else for that matter) can't argue with it.

Anyway, let's try to explain why I qualified your submission as "tame and proper" and "lack(ing) of edge" :
  • Taste : I like Walls of Sound and I cannot lie. Having such a clean production will not gain a lot of points with me (only 8, see ? XD)
  • Internal references : when I heard your song, a few suggestions popped in my head and I couldn't help but to compare to these, especially Entangled by Genesis (here played by Steve Hackett et al.) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk1j4cr9fXU, (storytelling + choir choruses).
  • Mix : your mix is bright, in a good way (good balance with a tasteful focus on the highs I would say). It makes it sound modern and clean, not really gritty like an old 70s record or 90s Norwegian church-burning lullabies.
  • Clean sounds : the sounds chosen are very clean (including the vocals). While it helps in terms of clarity, a tiny bit of distortion is never a bad thing, right ?
  • Rhythmic section : tight and sounding great, but the laid-back groove does not really drive the song forward reducing the overall "edginess".
  • Vocals : the verses are telling a story, everything is fine here. The choir asking the big question before going into the chorus is a great idea. And then comes a very chill and laid back chorus. The contrast is there (when comparing to verses) and the vocals here sound great. However, it feels like a "delicate pillow of voices". "Objectively", there is no clear lead : everything blends together (nicely, by the way).
  • Why not invite some friends to sing along ? This could create a great contrast between the choir and the "lead".
I hope I was clear enough there. You can ask for clarifications if needed.

I would like to know a bit more about your process and the gear/plugin you used to make your song since you haven't posted the specs yet.
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VCA-089
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Voting until 01-DEC-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#37

Post by VCA-089 »

I've corrected the download link for MP3 format. Previously it was the same as FLAC link. Please, update the submissions post...
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Voting until 01-DEC-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#38

Post by A Future in Noise »

alavault wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 17:12 CET
However, it feels like a "delicate pillow of voices". "Objectively", there is no clear lead.
You're right, there is no clear lead. I did this deliberately, and I thought that this trick – blending three or more almost identical takes – has a name and is sometimes used in recording studios. Unless, of course, I have misunderstood everything and someone pulled my legs at an Internet forum a year ago, or so ... Maybe someone know if this 'method' exists, at all, and in that case what it is called? :headscratch:

You are really giving me detailed feedback, @alavault, and I hope I will be able to do the same.
Arelem
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Voting until 01-DEC-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#39

Post by Arelem »

Great work everyone! All the submissions were good in their own right. Some I really struggle to give any feedback on because they really didn't need any. Anyway, here is my feedback.

Esteve Corbera: The drums are exactly the same throughout and the lead is a little stiff. Not much of a melody so it gets a little boring to listen to. Try adding in more variation with the drums and changing up the melody a bit. I've seen advice that a melody should still be interesting even if it was all the same note. While that isn't a hard rule, it could help in designing a more interesting melody.

Avavault: Really good. Not much to critique. The kick drum could be a little louder, it kind of gets lost. I really like the ambiance and effects in the intro/breakdown. Being picky, the fret noise from the bass is maybe a little too present.

Erictracks: The drum in the intro gets a little tiresome being too repetitive and uninteresting. Maybe too many quarter notes throughout the whole song. When the drum isn't constant the muted guitar is. Guitars get a little muddy at parts but overall really good.

GMoneh: Drums are really dynamic and interesting. There are maybe some off notes in the guitar playing, not sure if out of key or diminished but they didn't hit my ear right. The vocals and harmonies were really nice.

Becsei Gyorgy: Vocals are maybe too heavy, or growly for the rest of the song. They just don't really fit IMO. Everything else sounds really good.

VCA-089: The hits sounded kinda corny through most of the song. They fit in a few spots but they are overused to me and it takes away from the rest of the song. The song gives me old Sevendust vibes in the first half. The synth arp got a little tired near the end. Other than those couple things it was great.

A Future in Noise: I don't have anything to critique. Everything sounded good and had a place in the track. Definitely a classic feeling to it. It might benefit from more of a hook to get the listener invested. I'm trying to remember any of the lyrics after having just listened to it and I really can't.
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becsei_gyorgy
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC051 November 2021 - Voting until 01-DEC-2021 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#40

Post by becsei_gyorgy »

Hi all, great month with great songs. Here are my feedbacks (with a little help of google translate :smile: ).

EsteveCorbera - Diversio Guitarrera
Interesting track with some jazzy elements.
The instrumentation is good, nice choices.
From around 0:50- the bass is out of key, doesn't fit among the other items.
2:20- interesting guitar(?) sound but is quite artificial.
It should be a recurring melody and a good, matching bass.

alavault - M1
Nice ambient start then nice guitar play.
2:49- the drums are very much in the background compared to the other elements. --> 3:00- when the "feeling of approaching" starts, the drums start from far behind. It's like they're not coming from the same place. --> 3:18 I would bring it even closer, even drier.
Maybe a less (and less dark) reverb would be better for the drums, but maybe only I think so.
But good performance, good rhythm, pleasant melody, the song is very OK.
Overall nice product and interesting experimentation with sounds and spaces.

erictracks - Uptowner
Interesting time travel. A bit like 2 songs in one song.
1st part: The soundscape is pretty narrow, almost everything happens in the middle range. There is no bass or treble. A little 50s 60s feeling.
2st part: the drums and the bass arrive, but since the sound will suddenly be very wide, it will sound a bit strange after the first part.
The composition, melody is appealing, with a particularly good guitar playing - this I liked very, very much.
Maybe I would shorten the intro and widen the sound of the 1st part a little bit.

GMoneh - Back In Time
Very nice song, but sometimes I have a feeling that the vocals and the music (drums) are a bit slippery in time. A little disturbed sometimes by the singing, as if in a great hurry.
I like the song, pleasant melody, good dynamic shifts, nice vocal.
Quite a good mix, overall a good soundscape. Sometimes there are resonant sounds, but not dangerous.

Arelem - Speak the Truth
Interesting song, finally a clearly metal music, but the song is short and a bit monotonous.
The drums are good, but kick is missing the bottom.
The mix overall is a bit dark and the solo guitar definitely wants a dynamic eq.
The vocals are very good, interesting, and good fit in the mix. Overall nice rock song.

VCA-089 - Desert Machines
Interesting oriental feeling, it would be really good game music.
The middle is a bit empty for me, the good middle melodies are in the back.
Nice song overall but the structure is not built gradually, there are slightly equal parts in it. A more traditional (soundtrack) song structure would be better, with a good little climax at the end :).
Overall I liked it, I like the soundtrack (game music) feeling.

A Future in Noise - A Very Tragic Little Song
When I listened the first few seconds I thought a performance of a historical medieval song would follow. And it really remained a lovely little storytelling song. But I waited all the way for the guitars to start now, but in vain ... unfortunately the moment never came.
Somehow the song doesn’t fit among the others at all. But the song is pretty good, though. If the task were to create a song from the 60s and 70s, it would win right away. It could be a little more and better of a rock, distorted guitar play.
In the mix a little treble is missing, but a little air EQ would help, if only because there’s a little bit more bass than it should be compared to the style. I’m in a very difficult situation with this song, because it’s a very good song, but I don’t feel like it falls into the rock/metal category at all. Or just from a great distance.


It was very difficult to set up an order. There wasn’t much difference between the first few songs, I could have even set up a different order, they only differed in small details.
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