You have great sounds and melody lines here. Furthermore, the mood is very distinct. I like the fact it remains as one mood song.
But to me and to my hasty mind there's some problems with a bigger movement plan. The melody lines are quite short, and they repeat quite many times. And then you bring in a new great but short melody line, and again it loops quite many times. It starts to feel a bit static.
For example the opening is just great. Very special soundscape. Like some sort of abandoned industrial area.
But at 0.28, when the melody line has looped twice, I wish there could come some sort of change to loop. Maybe small variation to melody line, or perhaps bring in a new instrument into the background. Or even better instead of using 12 s loop four times, how about using 24 s loop twice.
The second loop-area starting around 0.45 is better from the point of view of movement as there you introduce small bass lines and small background variations. Now it has a feel that the loop resolves back to root every now and then.
To me the best part starts around 2:58. Now here's a transition from the whole band to bare melody with nice audible nuances. And then at 3:30 there's a new transition and you bring back the whole band.
Overall, I feel you have already about all the needed musical elements. With some spice here and there coupled with well planned use of mute button, you can create more small changes for ear to catch without stepping out from the interesting mood of your song.
)