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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
Olli H
Posts: 206
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2017 16:08 CET
Location: Finland

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#31

Post by Olli H »

SWC062

It's a big relief that it's enough to pick the 5 top ones. But as it's not any problem for me to comment each submission - for I already analyzed them all anyway - I add my comments for everyone here.


Arelem, Addicted
I surely can hear the influence of Lil Peep. Good choice for your style. Song works very nicely. The groove feels just perfect all through the song. It’s good to hear that you have more confidence on you voice. I would trust it even more and put it out without audible effects. Nice change around 0.50. When the main theme comes back 1.15 there could be some new elements added. Maybe something new on the low end. Lyrics work very well. All through the song, it feels to have meaning. But maybe you repeat the some lines too much. I would try a bit slower tempo just to give you more time to focus on every word. At 2:20 starts the final straight, and there you should have something new to rise it to the final level.


Crosshatched, The Sky Opens Up
It’s a bit difficult to comment this as this only a short part of the whole song. When listening a song one of the most important things is to hear how things evolve from earlier parts and create changes and tensions to earlier moments. Now we don’t know that. I listened again to your earlier submission from SWC059. There you showed your skills: you surely can create convincing moods and melody lines. So you have a rhythmic and melodic skill and musical vision to paint images with music. But what happened with this one? Now you have big rhythmic problems, and it’s difficult to discern what the intended melody line is. So, it's very difficult to give any real songwriting comments this time. Sorry for that.


DavidJohn, Surely Designed
Song is coherent all through from the start to the end. Very well done. You have a great potential in your voice. Maybe some small mixing tricks could give it a final focus and touch. Now the lyrics don’t get the full attention. The voice could be eq-ed to be just a bit smoother but 3 dBs louder. Or it could be side-chaining the piano compressor with voice that could make a difference. Nice natural and smooth transition to 3/4 tempo. But at the end of the song I start to feel that song is lacking a stronger musical hook.


EsteveCorbera, Una canço com qualsevol
I like the rhythm that you have created around that melody track. But when it comes to chord lines, It’s a difficult to evaluate this because — i feel — there’s constant ”out of tune” feeling. Probably caused by boomy kick that is probably tuned to a note that doesn’t sit well with some of the chords used in this song. After the good introduction of the song there is not happening too much in this arrangement. Maybe you could add some new details as the song evolves. For example, a real shaker and some synth fills. Now it seems to be looping the same initial ideas without new nuances.


GamaGama, I Want To Be A Leaf
Very interesting experiment with a virtual singer. (Actually it would be nice theme for some month to create a song with demo-version of this Vocaloid, and also lyrics could be the same for every one and created with some AI lyrics generator.) Back to your song. This month you have a very nice and delicate melody line with nice chord progression. It sounds as if it’s a pop hit from 60’s. But this month your arrangement is not on the same level as in your previous submissions. For the soft parts — where the melody lines are at it’s best — you have for too long just a single strummed chords. You could listen, for example, "The End of the World” by Skeeter Davis to get some possible ideas how it could roll in those parts. In stronger parts the arrangement work much better. There you could take some inspiration from the ”Something” by The Beatles. At least there’s about the some chord progression ideas and tempo is quite the same so you could find something from ”Something”.


KukoBass, Waiting for the fall
The opening guitar riff is real and great. Something, where you have shown to be very good at. It creates a huge expectation for the song. But then comes in that synth and it feels a total opposite of that organic guitar riff. Maybe it’s too much on the grid and without natural velocity movement or maybe the sound is too wide and unfocused. It feels lifeless after that cool guitar+bass interaction. But the melody as such played by that synth is probably very good, but it’s hard to tell, somehow the synth don’t give a chance for it to bloom. Well, the melody line is quite long without any breathing moments. It might be very difficult to sing, if there were words for this.


patrlord, Hey You
This one clearly has the strongest and most ”hookful” chorus of this month. You surely have a talent to create a hit stuff. But compared to that chorus, I think the song starts a bit uninterestingly. It doesn’t create a promise of the forthcoming excellency, and it probably happens that some listeners will make a huge mistake by skipping the song without hearing that unexpected change introduced by chorus. Singer is very good. But as I was expecting to hear the anarchic energy of your singin style, it came to my mind: How about doing a duetto with some inspiration from "Lady and the Tramp".


RyanC, Evergreen
Guitar riff is cool, but it repeats too much. I’m sure you could easily find some variations to it. Or maybe other instruments could join the riff later somehow. You have a good and energetic voice. It’s pleasure to listen to it. Song is very good but for some reason I feel that the arrangement doesn’t move enough. I like the change at 2:11. As the arrangement is quite sparse (I prefer that!), there's a room for many small details. For example maybe drums could use some ghost notes to add some nuances to the groove.

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EsteveCorbera
Posts: 171
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2020 23:53 CEST
Location: Catalunya

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#32

Post by EsteveCorbera »

Reflection on the experience with this game
If so, the new guidelines save us work. I consider myself a learner when it comes to music and, in my case, I have a problem with the language (thanks to Mr. Google and his translator). These two things make it always difficult to give an opinion and make constructive comments. But seen from the other side, it is these comments from other colleagues that have made me learn. Most of the things I know are because you helped me.
Another great thing about this challenge is having to experiment with different styles of music and different plots.
Participating every month means that at the end of the year I have done a minimum of 12 productions from scratch to the end. I have a goal that helps me finish my productions. I think this is very good. Thanks.

Reflections and comments

KukoBass – Waiting for the fall

Good introduction. The sound of the synthesizer first caught my attention, it reminded me a lot of the 80s, my era. But in the end it is heavy and repetitive. Maybe play with the speed, as one of the colleagues has already told you. I also find the clap artificial. On the other hand, the guitar / bass is very good. I also find the melody apt.
As you say, with more time it would have looked better.

GamaGama - IwantToBeALeaf

I like the intro, the guitar and the accompaniments. The voice has a good intro, but while learning the song the singer makes you suffer so that her voice doesn't break. I think the whole song is too high pitched. But I have to say, that in this one I would have tried to force the voice less.
It fascinates me that we can make a machine sing. Software manufacturers invent everything.

Patrlord - HeyYou
Seductive introduction. What a cool voice! I really like the song, maybe the least interesting part is the chorus, because it is less original.
Congratulations to Laura!! makes the song really catch me.

Crosshatched - The Sky Opens Up
I don't know how to define your presentation.
If you want to learn, this is the place. I started to try and now it's the thing I look forward to the most every month. I'm really hooked on this challenge. And as he said above, I learned a lot.
Comments on your topic:
- You need to improve your voice recording. It looks like it was recorded in an ill-conditioned room.
- You have to tune your voice. Be it when interpreting or going through tuning programs.
- The piano seems to be on its way. Too improvised.
- The mix needs to be improved. The singer is somewhere else, the piano too close. The piano would move it a little further (a bit of reverb) and bring the voice closer (not so much reverb).

Please participate more often and little by little you will learn. Thank you for participating.

OlliH - StillYouCareAboutMe
Is you!!
Every presentation you make shows that you have a level. It is also noticeable with your comments on our songs. If I mastered English I would like to have conversations with you to learn from you.
Flawless theme. Good voice acting, good rhythms, good accompaniments, interesting developments, good complement effects, good mixing. Damn, I don't know what else to congratulate you with.
Even, I like the way you write.

(translated with google)

Thank you all

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EsteveCorbera
Posts: 171
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2020 23:53 CEST
Location: Catalunya

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#33

Post by EsteveCorbera »

KukoBass wrote:
Thu Oct 27, 2022 19:48 CEST


EsteveCorbera "Una Canço Com Qualsevol"
This song has some very interesting and complex harmonics. I love the string pads. The harmonic interaction between vocal samples and music is creating a musical tension that makes the song unique.
Not at all a "Song like every other"!
Thanks!!
I liked to see that you searched for the translation of the song's title!!

GamaGama wrote:
Fri Oct 28, 2022 18:36 CEST

EsteveCorbera "Una Canço Com Qualsevol"
One comment: I have heard songs with less imagination and attractiveness in albums by artists of high standing. This is to express my appreciation.
The idea of my song was to make it unoriginal. To prove that many of today's songs are all the same
Olli H wrote:
Sat Oct 29, 2022 12:36 CEST

EsteveCorbera, Una canço com qualsevol
I like the rhythm that you have created around that melody track. But when it comes to chord lines, It’s a difficult to evaluate this because — i feel — there’s constant ”out of tune” feeling. Probably caused by boomy kick that is probably tuned to a note that doesn’t sit well with some of the chords used in this song. After the good introduction of the song there is not happening too much in this arrangement. Maybe you could add some new details as the song evolves. For example, a real shaker and some synth fills. Now it seems to be looping the same initial ideas without new nuances.
You are right in what you say.
I also noticed this detuning, but I didn't know why. Now you told me, thank you.
As I told the colleague above, I find that the current music is not at all original and too repetitive, so I didn't want to make more variations and let it repeat itself

Thanks
Arelem
Posts: 122
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2021 06:09 CEST

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#34

Post by Arelem »

Hello All,

For this month's challenge, I had to make my track a bit different from how I usually do. Things have been pretty hectic on my end so I only had bits of time here and there to work on my song. Usually, I spend a lot of time at once and sort of crank it out. I might make some small tweaks here and there, but the bulk of the work gets done all at once. I don't know if the change in process was better or worse, but it was definitely different. I did have to look up the current pop charts to get a better idea of what to produce as I do not listen to current pop music much if at all.

Feedback:
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Top 5:
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Olli H
Posts: 206
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2017 16:08 CET
Location: Finland

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#35

Post by Olli H »

EsteveCorbera wrote:
Sat Oct 29, 2022 19:10 CEST
OlliH - StillYouCareAboutMe
Is you!!
Every presentation you make shows that you have a level. It is also noticeable with your comments on our songs.
Thank you for your kind words!
EsteveCorbera wrote:
Sat Oct 29, 2022 19:10 CEST
If I mastered English I would like to have conversations with you to learn from you.
As you're fluent Google translator user, you can always send private messages to me, if you want to have more detailed conversations on any subject. Still, you must remember that at the end of the day I'm just another hobbyist with mainly degenerating skills. But as a peer support I'm glad to share any of those borrowed ideas and stolen tricks that are still left in my back pocket.
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A Future in Noise
Song Provider
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#36

Post by A Future in Noise »

SWC062_aFutureInNoise_WhenYellowTurnsToGreen_WIP

I thought I had some good ideas here. Can you post a bonus track the 31st of October ( @Mister Fox )?

Maybe you can consider the intro as finished. Everything else is work in progress, or very in progress. (Just intro + one verse and one chorus.)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tr8ZJ0 ... share_link
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patrlord
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#37

Post by patrlord »

Hello everyone,

Here are my votes and my (short) notes !
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My notes on the experience:
I really don't care if I win or not, I am just looking for feedback on my song. The more frank the better, because there are many small things that can make a big difference between an ok and a great song. For my song Hey You, I rushed and overcooked the vocals for my final submission and buried them a bit too deep in the mix, I need to pull them out a bit more especially in the chorus. And the song was not quite finished; my singer has just today finalised the harmonies / couplets which I will add to make the vocals more powerful. I'll post the final version later !
Indielectronica @ http://digitalgenes.com
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Mister Fox
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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#38

Post by Mister Fox »

A Future in Noise wrote:
Mon Oct 31, 2022 14:31 CET
...
I thought I had some good ideas here. Can you post a bonus track the 31st of October ( @Mister Fox )?
...
Added.

Please consider adding to your post, and maybe join the "feedback game" as well. Maybe see it as "test run" for the next game in November.
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Mister Fox
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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#39

Post by Mister Fox »

A friendly reminder:
We're in the final 24 hours to submit your feedback and cast your vote.


Please check post #21 regarding this month's test-run on overhauled feedback and voting mechanics. Please don't let yourself be put at a disadvantage by not participating. The Songwriting Competition lives from the given feedback towards each other.

Outside feedback is welcome, of course.
Dear David John

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC062 October 2022 - Voting until 01-NOV-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#40

Post by Dear David John »

My out-take from this month is to view the world as a massive cog, being turned day in and day out. And due to the sheer size of it, not much, if any difference can truly be made on a global scale. So forget about it. Leave it be. Make a difference in your own sphere of influence. Amongst your friends, work colleagues or sport partners. Because once everyone positively influence there direct sphere, soon that sphere will be big enough to encompass the world and make real change. Also I like real vocals.



ryanc wrote:
Sun Oct 23, 2022 04:55 CEST
Thanks for the chance to enter and for the inspiration!
...
Hey Ryanc

I really enjoyed your track. You did a great job in capturing your audience from the get-go with that organ sound. Its very alluring and well placed. Great job. For me personally the vocal sounded a but to "far away" in the mix, but keeping in mind I am am a fan of upclose, infront vocal, so this is to be expected of me. However I would love to hear your vocal set more forward out of interest sakes.
All in all very catchy little melody and a sweet sound.
Keep it up man.
:phones:

Arelem wrote:
Sun Oct 23, 2022 20:00 CEST
Hello All,

I had to listen to the current pop charts because I don't really listen to much modern pop music to be honest.
...
Hey Arelem
This is definitely music that I listen to on a regular basis.
Its nice to hear when an artist understands the need to hit the chorus hook early and solid in order to catch the listener early on.
I thought the mix was great and the kick/snare is placed very well.
My only crit would be after about 2 mins I started wondering off a little. Maybe a big variation is vocal sound, tempo or chord progression would of held me in it all the way.

Over all though I did hit the replay button when I realised it was finished which means great work.

Look forward to hearing more.

EsteveCorbera wrote:
Sun Oct 23, 2022 23:32 CEST
Challenge companions and Mister Fox, Good night!!

...
So here I am excitedly wanting to provide feedback on your stella vocal output and even found myself diving into your Plugins used to get that vocal sound youve achieved....

Either way I loved the track. I am however surprised the vocal is a Sample and there is a clear off-key note on the second "you" . How does that happen? I would love to know genuinely.

You mentioned your structure has changed slightly and I do agree this structure is more "acceptable" but I would stick to your guns with what you also usually produce as there are people like myself that enjoy non-structured (as per commercial consumption) based format.

Still this is one of my top tracks for sure this month.

patrlord wrote:
Sun Oct 23, 2022 23:22 CEST
Hello everyone,

I was not sure if I'd make it in time for this song challenge, but I just managed to finalize the vocal mixing today, so here it is.
...
Great track indeed. And amazing vocal.
I just think that the pitching could be heavier handed. With such a forward vocal hearing of key notes is jarring. In this genre of song dont be shy to pitch harder then usual.

So far one my favourite tracks this month. Great work.



My rankings:
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 ⚠ Moderation Message from Mister Fox  
Moved all individual posts into one for better readability. Due to this, and due to something I can't prevent with the forum engine, the participant can unfortunately not edit this post anymore.
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