SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC049 September 2021 - Winners announced

[TrojakEW]

Not sure what you mean by "a midi song"... yes, the piano was recorded as MIDI because I do not own a grand piano, only virtual pianos, but all the parts were performed by a human (myself) via a keyboard (yes, with a sustain pedal that produced CC64, but not automated, just my foot), or in the case of the guitar, by an actual guitar.

Just wanted to clear that out...

Sometimes it is hard to understand what others said. Based on his reaction I think he mention that it is sounds like midi song because of dynamics. In beginning playback of midi files have a lot of limitation because of soundcard. They used limited wavetable like OPL that sound very synthetic. There were no velocity layers for dynamics or round robins like we have now. This cause the track and instrument sound artificial and lifeless or one can say midi-sh.

So this mean you do not have any dynamics changes during your play (per note velocity) parts when you play soft ppp dynamics and parts where you "hit" harder to go for fff dynamics or simply instrument/samples used do not have desired feature and it do not reflect your emotions. I also think that piano you used sound bit synthetic especially in high registers. Same sound on every hit and this cause it sounds like old school midi track in regards of piano.

[celiodie]

Hi to you all, here’s my vote & comment…
I tried to stick as much as possible to the type of comment requested by Mr. Fox and the rules of the challenge. I just added some reflections on how much the songs adhered to the proposed theme, and in general it seemed to me that the theme "loss" was not very respected, as most of the songs sound rather optimistic and ultimately far from loss. In the comments I also evaluated the songs regardless of how close they were to the theme, but I then took them into account in the scores attributed.

GMoneh "Bon Voyage, Mon Amie"
I appreciated this piece for its natural melodicity, at times naive but true, and capable of arousing emotions sufficiently coherent with the theme. Although the series of chords is extremely conventional, the piece manages to capture the listening and be remembered. The adherence to the “loss” theme sound authentic and personal.
To improve the work, more attention must be paid to the sounds and the execution, which here are somewhat neglected. After 2:00' the guitar and piano intertwine in a confusing and very disturbing way.

TrojakEW "The Road Not Taken"
I really like the slightly dancing beginning and the cadence of the piano (excellent sound). The arrival of the oriental melody takes me away from the atmosphere; then the female voice takes me to situations very far from the theme, almost "yoga on the beach" … a bit new age. Undoubtedly this is anyway an excellent realization on the technical level, just only partially centered on the theme.

EsteveCorbera "Cami de Retorn"
I appreciate the great and boundless sounds of this song. The composition, however, seems to flow without a direction, and makes you lose tension and interest in the passage of time. It is not clear where development wants to lead, and if it wants to lead anywhere. The title seems to recall the theme, but the emotions induced (to me) by the song seem quite far from it.

fjansenson "Brotes"
The choice of instruments is splendid, the charango gives a unique and dreamlike atmosphere. Well done! Respect for the theme is achieved overall, even if the spoken voice seems a little out of context. I’d rather prefer an instrumental song.
However, I would suggest adding some background instruments and leaving the piece only instrumental: it could be truly magical, and the voice takes away this magic a bit.

Johnny_Fingers "Ocean Full of Sand"
A "genre" song, clearly delineated, and also well written, but, apart from the lirica, completely out of feeling with respect to the theme; I really like the lyrics itself, really exciting and powerful words, but I can't connect it to the music, and if I stop following the words, the music takes me to a completely different atmosphere. The creation of the song is fresh, lively, but it sounds a bit like a demo to be refined.

A Future in Noise "Infestation"
It seems to me really far, at least musically, from the proposed theme. As a song it appears well written, well defined in its genre, but IMO completely off topic. That said, the realization is not lacking in style, but the sounds are rather flat, they would need a good job of equalization and space to stand out at their best.

Canese "Delightful Horror"
In my opinion this is the song that most respects the theme of the month. It inspires a contemplative and melancholic state of mind, but not devoid of energy. The harmonies are simple but never banal and all consistent with the general feeling. The orchestration surrounding the piano is essential but well calibrated and with a progressive evolution over time. Suggestions for improvement: The sounds are well combined but should be more present and sculpted, taking care of equalization and compression where necessary.

► Show Spoiler

1 10 pts canese Delightful Horror
2 9 pts fjansenson Brotes
3 8 pts TrojakEW The Road Not Taken
4 7 pts GMoneh Bon Voyage, Mon Amie
5 6 pts Johnny_Fingers Ocean Full of Sand
6 5 pts EsteveCorbera Cami de Retorn
7 4 pts A Future in Noise Infestation

[Johnny_Fingers]

I judged the songs on the strength of the songwriting and the song’s connection to the theme of loss. I did not judge them on their recording or mix or other technical qualities, because this is a songwriting challenge and not a mixing or mastering challenge. In my view songwriting and engineering are completely different skill sets. The ability to write a song does not require the ability to mix one… that’s why most songwriters make demos.

A general comment. Most of the songs were in one genre, which is good and bad. It’s good because this genre can capture emotion when done well. It’s bad because it makes the songwriting challenge very narrow, and it makes judging among songs more difficult. It’s also challenging because many other genres (blues, rock, country, jazz, folk, rap, hip hop, techno, etc) not represented here can strongly capture emotion, particularly when they include strong emotional lyrics. I wonder why most of the submitted songs are in such a narrow range of style.

Feedback—

GMoneh: Bon Voyage, Mon Amie. Has a wistful feel, definitely gets across the emotion of sadness and loss. The combination of keys and guitar is very nice and they work well together. Their trade-off in the melody is also interesting. The song builds nicely over time. Some ideas might be to add lyrics and vocals to help drive home the emotion of loss.

TrojakEW: The Road Not Taken. The keys and strings are nice together and the tune overall evokes sadness. Nice dynamics across the song with periods of more and less intensity. Some ideas would be to replace the canned vocals with a real vocalist to make the emotion more present and real. Same for the strings, which sound like midi. Might also be nice to tone down some of the sound effects that distract from the music.

EsteveCorbera: Cami de Retorn. Interesting sonic landscape. Some ideas might be to shorten the track some, maybe by getting to the main part sooner. Might also be helpful to add a melodic theme to the overall sonic landscape to tie it all together. If such a melody were more clearly defined, a sense of loss might be more clearly generated in the mind of the listener.

fjansenson: Brotes. Nice keyboards and bass sound at the beginning, reminds me of a jazz piece. The song changes a bit when the strings and vocals come in, which is interesting. Some ideas might be to stick more closely with the jazz vibe throughout the song… it works well at the beginning and has a forlorn feel to it which is lost some when the vocals come in. It might also be nice for the vocals to sing in counterpoint to the instruments.

A Future in Noise: Infestation. Nice melody and I liked the choice of instruments and the way they were combined. I also liked the dynamics of the song. The lyrics are interesting and convey to me a general sense of frustration and loss. Some ideas might be to collaborate with a vocalist with rich timbre to help the song take on even more weight. But that is not really a songwriting issue. In terms of structure, there’s a sharp break in the song at 2:21 when it goes into instrumentals, and it might be nice to return to lyrics just to bring the song back around to where it started.

Celiodie: Prayer. Lovely composition. Beautiful combination of keys and strings. This melody created has a feeling of looming dread and despair which definitely evokes loss. I found this very beautiful and moving. One idea might be to include a little more dynamics over the song so that it builds to a climax. This song does not require lyrics or vocals to convey sadness and loss, which is difficult to do and very well done.

Canese: Delightful Horror. Another beautiful keyboard composition. This song seems to me to start with loss and then build to something more hopeful, and then end on a wistful feeling. This transition across feelings is emotionally satisfying. I also like the dynamics, with the strings building and the percussion entering around midway through the song, and then the percussion dropping out again. Like Celiodie’s Prayer, no lyrics are needed to convey these emotions. I don’t really have much to suggest here. Well done.

► Show Spoiler

01 (10 pts) Canese Delightful Horror
02 (9 pts) Celiodie Prayer
03 (8 pts) GMoneh Bon Voyage, Mon Amie
04 (7 pts) A Future in Noise Infestation
05 (6 pts) fjansenson Brotes
06 (5 pts) EsteveCorbera Cami de Retorn
07 (4 pts) TrojakEW The Road Not Taken

[A Future in Noise]

After some consideration, I have decided to withdraw my contribution. I simply can not participate in a competition where you break the rules in such a blatant way. It is said in the simplest way imaginable: the theme for this month is loss. And what do I hear? Music that is about selling cars, music that is a tribute to adult videos, music that describes in detail a bakery in Greenland.

See you some other month, and then I hope we can stick to the current theme.

[A Future in Noise]

... this is a songwriting challenge and not a mixing or mastering challenge ...

Yes, I thought so too.

[TrojakEW]

Feedback—

First of all thanks for feedback. Can you please give me some more information regarding your feedback and what do you mean for next two statements?

Same for the strings, which sound like midi.

What do you mean by it? Because I'm not sure now what "sound like midi" mean.

Might also be nice to tone down some of the sound effects that distract from the music.

What sounds effect you mean? Because I do not use any in this track.

After some consideration, I have decided to withdraw my contribution. I simply can not participate in a competition where you break the rules in such a blatant way. It is said in the simplest way imaginable: the theme for this month is loss. And what do I hear? Music that is about selling cars, music that is a tribute to adult videos, music that describes in detail a bakery in Greenland.

See you some other month, and then I hope we can stick to the current theme.

This is only personal opinion from all of us like it is same way you are looking at all other tracks. There is no need to withdraw the track. This is the best way to understand how other people looking at music and what they prefer. That is all. It is about learn some new things.

... this is a songwriting challenge and not a mixing or mastering challenge ...

Yes, I thought so too.

I do not understand both of you. What do you mean by that. I'm not saying it is otherwise, but I do share this information for everyone to learn new things even myself. If there are two tracks that I cannot decide which is better in regards of composition and theme, then track with better mix decide the winner of these two. You do not need to be mix or mastering engineer. If you do not want to improve you skills fine but I do consider some basic knowledge important. For example cook. For me it is not just about able to prepare tasty food. For me it is important that cook should know something about food and nutrition so it is not just tasty but also very nutritious. But most people ignore this part and all what they care is how the food taste and how nice it is looking. Some people that are calling themselves cook think they know best which food is healthy and ignore all others because they think they have truth and everyone else are wrong. We all have different view on anything. I 'm not musician or mix or mastering engineer. It is about fun and and way to train my brain not just body. In order to have more fun and get more training for my brain I trying to learn new things. What is your goal? Answer this question yourself I do not need to know that.

[canese]

After some consideration, I have decided to withdraw my contribution. I simply can not participate in a competition where you break the rules in such a blatant way. It is said in the simplest way imaginable: the theme for this month is loss. And what do I hear? Music that is about selling cars, music that is a tribute to adult videos, music that describes in detail a bakery in Greenland.

See you some other month, and then I hope we can stick to the current theme.

[A Future in Noise]

Your entry does not belong to the very small group of entries that fit the description in my previous comment, @canese .

[EsteveCorbera]

Hello,
Here I leave you with my comments. Sorry if I’m inaccurate because I’m learning from it. Thank you for your comments.
Good luck !!

Xil Arya(GMoneh) Bon Voyage Mon Amie
Curious composition. It is not uncommon to find a piece like yours in this challenge. Simple melody that you repeat with the various instruments. Towards the end when all the instruments sound there is a moment that seems to be out of tempo, that the instruments go to detach from the others. But maybe you already wanted to do it expressly. At first I had the feeling that the instruments were too much in the foreground, but with a more detailed school I appreciated the work of placing the sounds in space.
The electric piano sounds too bright, the other frequencies too loud.

TrojakEW TheRoadNotTaken
As always spotless. He has a melancholy or nostalgic touch that looks super good on him.
I am not able to make a critique like yours, so much detail on a technical level. At the level of mixing I find it very good and at the level of composition I also find a great job.
I wish I could do a review to help you improve, but I don't see anything that needs to change. Just to say that you cut the ending too abruptly.
I appreciate the reviews on a more technical level (mixing and mastering), I learn a lot from your comments.

Fer Jansenson Brotes
Las voces, no se. Me despistan. Me han sacado del tema. La música tiene una magia, pero las voces... me ha cortado el rollo. Curiosas las percusiones colocadas en el espacio stereo. Y las guitarras con un toque andino, están bien. El toque jazz del piano también me gusta. Y otro pero, al final es demasiado brusco.

English translation: The voices, I don't know. They confuse me. They have taken me off the subject. The music has a magic, but the voices ... it has cut me off. The percussions placed in the stereo space are curious. And guitars with an Andean touch are fine. I also like the jazz touch of the piano. And another but, in the end it is too abrupt.

John Henderson (Johnny_Fingers) OceanFullofSand
Another very different topic than we are used to out there, which is usually more virtual than real. A small critique of vocal performance, a bit out of tune and sometimes not matched to the tempo. But the effort to record live is appreciated.
I like the way guitars sound, expanded in the stereo space.
You have to work the depth. A little reverb would go well.

AfutureinNoise Infestation
This month we have a lot of unusual topics. Very different. The theme sung with an atmosphere very similar to the theme of the previous participant. In my humble opinion, the voices lack a bit of tuning. But I find the subject well worked out and original within this challenge.

celiodie Prayer
Really magical start. It caught my attention, but when the second piano appeared, I got out of the way (0:32). This piano start should be more natural. He is forced. Once this is done, the piano is integrated into the theme and becomes enjoyable. The theme takes place in a quiet space, only the background pads, at some point too bright, break these more relaxed atmosphere. The bells sound too high.
You could have played with the depth with more reverb.

canese Delightful horror
For me, it's a delicious topic, not a horror one. This piano that carries the weight of the whole subject. Only violins may at some point seem a little more threatening. The percussion you put on helps make the subject more enjoyable, it doesn’t take long.
The piano atmosphere in the foreground and the strings in the background are great.

(translated with google)

► Show Spoiler

10p canese Delightful horror
9p TrojakEW TheRoadNotTaken
8p celiodie Prayer
7p John Henderson (Johnny_Fingers) OceanFullofSand
6p AfutureinNoise Infestation
6p Xil Arya(GMoneh) Bon Voyage Mon Amie
5p Fer Jansenson Brotes

[Johnny_Fingers]

... this is a songwriting challenge and not a mixing or mastering challenge ...

Yes, I thought so too.

I do not understand both of you. What do you mean by that.

Well, Mr Shakespeare, thanks for entering this story King Lear into our story writing contest. It's fine as far as it goes, but it was written with a bird feather, the penmanship is terrible, and there are ink stains all over it, so it isn't going to get many story writing points.