SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC086 October 2024 - Submissions until 24-OCT-2024 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

[OlliH]

Hey guys!

This track is about Johnny.

Very Professional
You must have been in your previous life Frank Farian.
Main riff is very cool.
All the variations of the main theme work very nicely.
Although I cannot show any exact weak point but somehow around 2/3 my attention seems to drop a little. I guess the final climax is missing. Maybe the slow part around 2:40 could bring a bigger change and clear new motif (now it's more like a resting moment) and then explode into final chorus with a new drum groove. And to make it a big hit you may need a couple of caribian ladies to do singin part and dancing.
But overall: very well done. You surely have ear and talent for this genre.

[OlliH]

My submission:
"My life from seed to vegetable"

Man I love the first minute and a half!
Honestly I don't really like how it evolves especially the vocals without lyrics... It's like until 01:30/02:00 the music give some very sad and profound vibes and than the vocals kick in saying "taradatarada" and kinda ruined my experience
It's like seeing a film scene with this very misterious and fascinating tall figure walking in the night and you think man this guy has to be super cool like a detective or spy or something and you think he has to have this face but suddenly the camera zoom in and he has this face
I hope I gave you the idea

But, again, the first 01:30 is so cool and maybe my favorite peace out of all the submissions so great job it's like that netflix series that you loved but you hope it would have ended in another way

Actually your description of my song is very accurate. I had a short film in mind that could have been called "Cabbage Head - Promising Future Behind". A story about a talented but stubborn person who doesn't listen to the voice of reason but makes wrong career choices and in the end turns into a vegetable. No one understands what he's trying to say and convey. When harvest time comes and everyone shows what they have become in life, the star of this movie can only show that he has become a stupid cabbage head.

[crispy]

My submission:
"My life from seed to vegetable"

Man I love the first minute and a half!
Honestly I don't really like how it evolves especially the vocals without lyrics... It's like until 01:30/02:00 the music give some very sad and profound vibes and than the vocals kick in saying "taradatarada" and kinda ruined my experience
It's like seeing a film scene with this very misterious and fascinating tall figure walking in the night and you think man this guy has to be super cool like a detective or spy or something and you think he has to have this face but suddenly the camera zoom in and he has this face
I hope I gave you the idea

But, again, the first 01:30 is so cool and maybe my favorite peace out of all the submissions so great job it's like that netflix series that you loved but you hope it would have ended in another way

Actually your description of my song is very accurate. I had a short film in mind that could have been called "Cabbage Head - Promising Future Behind". A story about a talented but stubborn person who doesn't listen to the voice of reason but makes wrong career choices and in the end turns into a vegetable. No one understands what he's trying to say and convey. When harvest time comes and everyone shows what they have become in life, the star of this movie can only show that he has become a stupid cabbage head.

Well, it could easily be the soundtrack of my life than

[crispy]

Hey guys!

This track is about Johnny.

Very Professional
You must have been in your previous life Frank Farian.
Main riff is very cool.
All the variations of the main theme work very nicely.
Although I cannot show any exact weak point but somehow around 2/3 my attention seems to drop a little. I guess the final climax is missing. Maybe the slow part around 2:40 could bring a bigger change and clear new motif (now it's more like a resting moment) and then explode into final chorus with a new drum groove. And to make it a big hit you may need a couple of caribian ladies to do singin part and dancing.
But overall: very well done. You surely have ear and talent for this genre.

Surely, while on the mixing side I tend to be very meticolus on the arrangement side I tend to be a bit lazy... And of course yes, a couple of caribian ladies singers would add a lot of value into the track and in my life too

Thanks for the feedback man

[Mellow Browne]

Hey there,

here is my entry for this month:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/19GyEk4 ... sp=sharing

More info will follow later!

[Ike H-mope]

Hey there,

here is my entry for this month:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/19GyEk4 ... sp=sharing

More info will follow later!

Nice track. Liked the feel, sounds, groove.

I like the drum programming, but I'd either really lean into the artificial drum thing by producing it in a way that makes it clear it's an intentional part of the sound, or if it's supposed to sound "real", then I think you need to find a better library or produce it in a more"live" manner.

Regardless, nice track.

[OlliH]

FINAL SUBMISSION (second try...)

Actually this song is very good. It's funny and simple, but musically it's not a joke at all. It's not easy to make simple songs with melody hooks that one can remember afterwards. This one really stuck to my brains. I have nothing to complain in melody lines etc. So, when it comes to songwriting, I think you have done excellent job.

But when it comes to arrangement, you could work more on that area, or take the role of conductor. I'm pretty sure each instrument part on its own is fine as it is. But now when they're playing all together, it sounds like the Harvest Festival has hit midnight, and they're playing against each other.

Even though you have to pay for the whole band, that doesn't mean they all have to play at the same time. I would try to use the mute button and create separate areas where each instrument has its own place of dominance. If a horn has something nice to say in the background, don't cover it with other instruments. That way there would be more sonical variations etc. As an inspiration to mute button's use, listen for example Edith Piaf or Mireille Mathieu singing Marseille in front of huge orchestra. With quick listening it feels as if in many places there's only one long note (not a chord) supporting the singer.

[PonySho]

Hello, all. Here is my submission: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Bouys ... p=drive_fs

It's called "Law of the Harvest"
I really enjoyed this theme - I wasn't sure if it would lead me anywhere but as I thought about this concept of "harvest" all kinds of ideas came to mind. I thought of the law of the harvest, that "you reap what you sow" but it occurred to me that that maxim doesn't address the fact that the harvest doesn't immediately follow the planting, and so may be misleading. In my experience, any meaningful endeavor - be it trying to get in shape, succeeding in business, harboring intimate relationships, etc - requires prolonged, consistent effort and the fruit doesn't usually come immediately, but on a delay - sometimes a very long delay. Not being aware of this fact can lead to discouragement and despair when we resolve to ...

Hi ryanc
It's nice to hear a singer-songwriter submission. The singing and your acoustic and lead guitar are played well. It has a folk style, to my ears.
I like how gently the song begins, then later at 2.25 when the song really gets moving with a lot of energy!

I agree with others about the drum groove. The drum timing sounds correct so the 'lumpy' groove is due to the guitar and bass not syncing...something that's easily fixed with moving your audio clips around in the mix.

I also feel that a less dominant snare would sound a lot better. The hyper processed snare style/tone is possibly not the best pick for this song - it would be perfect for an up tempo pop or rock song. I feel this song needs a more natural sound as if the snare were miked from a couple of metres away...warmer, less transient, and short spacial reverb.

At the risk of repeating myself, I don't want to emphasise the mix as more important than the songwriting (which is great), but the mix plays such an important part in translating the songwriter's ideas to the listener...so it is important.

Feel free to ignore everything I've just said as it's only MY opinion. Hope it's helpful and keep making great music.

[ryanc]

Hello, all. Here is my submission: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Bouys ... p=drive_fs

It's called "Law of the Harvest"
I really enjoyed this theme - I wasn't sure if it would lead me anywhere but as I thought about this concept of "harvest" all kinds of ideas came to mind. I thought of the law of the harvest, that "you reap what you sow" but it occurred to me that that maxim doesn't address the fact that the harvest doesn't immediately follow the planting, and so may be misleading. In my experience, any meaningful endeavor - be it trying to get in shape, succeeding in business, harboring intimate relationships, etc - requires prolonged, consistent effort and the fruit doesn't usually come immediately, but on a delay - sometimes a very long delay. Not being aware of this fact can lead to discouragement and despair when we resolve to meet a goal and don't see immediate results. What's required is faith & trust that our current efforts will cause favorable outcomes in the future if we keep at it.

tools used:
DAW: Presonus Studio One
VST Instruments:
• MT Drummer
• Ample Bass P Lite
Mitchell Acoustic Guitar
Harley Benton Tele-Style Guitar
Blue Spark Condenser Microphone

I performed all the instruments and the vocals

Lyrics:
There was snow,
It was cold, cold
But we stooped down
And scattered sleeping green into the ground

Now it's been weeks
Still, all I see, see
Is barren ground
Instead of green, brown

Chorus:
And they say you reap what you sow
But no one ever warned me it would take so long to grow
And they say, "wait, it's just a matter of time." Ooh
"Have some faith, there's change in the air."
So I'll hose it down again and send up a prayer.

(Chorus)
Bridge:
"And have faith," they say
But can I get the fruit without the work and wait?
"Have faith," they say
Is that the price I have to pay?

It's still cold
But I see gold, gold
peek through the clouds
and, looking close, there's green emerging from the ground.

Very nice track!
And you have a good voice too!
If I have to give some critics the mix could be improved, imo it could be more energetic like I would saturate a bit the bass to make it more audible even on devices like phones, vocals are a bit too dry I would give them some reverb and overall I feel the mix could be a lot better with some tweaks on eq, comp and transient design... But overall I think you did a great job! Damn man I really would like to mix the song now!
Would you mind to?
Also would be great to hear your thoughts on my track too if you want

Thank you for your feedback! Very kind and gracious of you.
I really appreciate your feedback on the mix. Of my many weak points, mixing may be my weakest. If you would like to mix it, I would love to hear your take on it. I listened to your track and I think it sounds great! Reminds me of that classic disco song, "Let's Groove." I'll have more feedback to share during voting after I've had a little more time to give it a couple more good listens, but the mix sounds very clean and easy on the ear, so your vastly superior mixing skills show through.

Here are the stems: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1BqjnP ... p=drive_fs If anybody else wants to give it a go, I'm more than happy to be shown up.
Thanks again!

[ryanc]

Hello, all. Here is my submission: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Bouys ... p=drive_fs

It's called "Law of the Harvest"
I really enjoyed this theme - I wasn't sure if it would lead me anywhere but as I thought about this concept of "harvest" all kinds of ideas came to mind. I thought of the law of the harvest, that "you reap what you sow" but it occurred to me that that maxim doesn't address the fact that the harvest doesn't immediately follow the planting, and so may be misleading. In my experience, any meaningful endeavor - be it trying to get in shape, succeeding in business, harboring intimate relationships, etc - requires prolonged, consistent effort and the fruit doesn't usually come immediately, but on a delay - sometimes a very long delay. Not being aware of this fact can lead to discouragement and despair when we resolve to ...

Hi ryanc
It's nice to hear a singer-songwriter submission. The singing and your acoustic and lead guitar are played well. It has a folk style, to my ears.
I like how gently the song begins, then later at 2.25 when the song really gets moving with a lot of energy!

I agree with others about the drum groove. The drum timing sounds correct so the 'lumpy' groove is due to the guitar and bass not syncing...something that's easily fixed with moving your audio clips around in the mix.

I also feel that a less dominant snare would sound a lot better. The hyper processed snare style/tone is possibly not the best pick for this song - it would be perfect for an up tempo pop or rock song. I feel this song needs a more natural sound as if the snare were miked from a couple of metres away...warmer, less transient, and short spacial reverb.

At the risk of repeating myself, I don't want to emphasise the mix as more important than the songwriting (which is great), but the mix plays such an important part in translating the songwriter's ideas to the listener...so it is important.

Feel free to ignore everything I've just said as it's only MY opinion. Hope it's helpful and keep making great music.

Thank you very much for your feedback. Mixing is not my forte so the specific critiques I get in that area on this site is very helpful and well received. I agree with the snare style being too harsh. I'll see if I can find a more fitting sound.

And I understand the sentiment about the mix quality being important. It's a fact I lament, given my lack of having an ear for it and I have to confess that, this being a songwriting competition, part of me deems heavily basing scores on the mix quality equivalent to an Olympic pole-vaulter being docked points because her track uniform is less fashionable than her fellow competitors'.