Swc064 vote + kommentit
VOTING: I like the fact that nowadays one doesn’t have to invent pinpoint who is last and who is second last. I felt it was was cruel process.
COMMENTING: But after a couple of months with these new rules I’m a bit worried that the main allurement of this competition has slightly vanished. That is to say, the commenting part. Previously, if you were willing to write 10 comments, it was guaranteed that you’ll receive 10 comments. Now it’s easy not to comment those submissions that probably would benefit most of the comments.
Some of the comments I already posted before, but I collected them all into this post, so that they are all in the same place.
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Arelem: Stormy Walk
You start this song with very promising with a nice melodic theme. But very soon theme begins to feel too short and starts to repeat itself too much. Maybe the melodic loop resolves too quickly back to the root. Is it only eight bar melodic loop?
Later you introduce nice variations but somehow they don’t take us to a new level, maybe because of that repeating back ground loop. The song sort of disappears there. Maybe it's the chord progression thats too short.
As the main theme is very nice and moody, I might try this kind of solution.
1: first eight bars with the main melody but ending with tension
2: same eight bars but now resolving to root
3: here some new chord(s) with the same or different mood and ending with tension
4: again the same eight bars but now resolving to root.
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colorado weeks
What a voice and what a songwriting skill. I think you should be now with your high-up producer making arrangements to your next hit, but instead you’re here reading comments to your music from a mediocre music hobbyist like me.
Then to comments.
Nice intro, I like sparse instrumentation. (Bass sound feels a bit hollow). I also dig that simple rhythm.
Then the verse starts, and those verses are just perfect. I like how you introduce new rhythmics to the melody on the second half of the verse. Very skillfully done.
But then comes the chorus. Well, it's good, but still, to me it doesn’t provide the super hook, which the verse demands and expects there to be. Maybe it’s not the melody that's the problem, maybe it’s the arrangement, as it continues with that same riff that’s almost all the time behind this song. Now your song is a bit imprisoned by that intro riff. I might break that already heard rhythm for example either with long tremolo chords on one, or some rapid eight note rhythms behind your long notes that you’re singing.
So my main point is, after those verses the beginnings of the choruses are not strong enough yet.
Very nice saxophone solo.
There’s also a C-part. Again, I might try to introduce new rhythmic elements in there, or take the drums away completely, or leave just hi-hats.
As I feel you’re super talented musically, but the arrangement doesn’t yet serve your music optimally, how about offering this song to arrangement competition. You might get twenty totally different versions, with different instrumentation from ultra modern to dead old 60's retro version (That's probably my version).
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EsteveCorbera: La tassa a la finestra
Melody is actually very beautiful. I’m glad you have decided to explore more that area in your musical endeavors. But I don’t know what happened, for I think that your bass destroys the listening experience. As if it’s out of tune or something. Or maybe the bass plays correct notes, but the chord progression under the melody line is wrong.
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KukoBass: StayInside
You have some magic here. I love it!
The starting feels musically a bit insecure, but after that song finds itself and rapidly turns me into a listener. Your fragile and honest voice and tone serve this song perfectly. I end up listening to you, not so much the music.
You have shown in your previous submissions, that you have ear to make simple but fascinating grooves. This time also. I like those subtle changes and nuances that give variations without escaping from the songs mood.
What comes to those pads, you might try some passing notes here and there.
Maybe in the last meters the song starts to fade away, but I'm sure you can easily solve that problem, if you have time fore it.
Those grooves — and now also your singing — bring into my mind J.J. Cale’s first album ”Naturally”, especially the slow tunes in there. I'm surprised if you haven’t listened to it. Furthermore, J.J. Cale is not a singer and has quite narrow register and no dynamic at all in his voice, but still he has managed to do extremely convincing vocal performances in hundreds of songs, and many huge hits. He’s one of my all-time favorites, especially his first recordings. That said, I sincerely hope that you continue your musical trip by challenging yourself more to use your own voice.
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EKVelika: Comfy winter socks
Very cool melody line. I love it. But it’s a pity you didn’t develop this further. After 30 seconds the whole song is actually heard. Well, there's also a nice counter melody line. Also there the main line keeps looping the same line. But having said that, still I like this very much.
So, everything you introduce in this song is superb as such, but as a song it doesn’t have any kind of development or progression. It could be just very small minor variations and added elements that would turn this from a demo to a masterpiece.
All instruments seem to have a pitch modulation. It creates a feeling that something is out of tune. As if a cassette player is not capable of keeping the speed of tape constant. If the long chords behind were without that effect, it might emphasize nicely and give room for the modulation in the lead instrument without having that out of tune feeling.
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aFutureInNoise: ToSeeOrNotToSee
Interesting opening. I like that guitar, both the playing and sound of it. It has something different in it. Maybe you could adjust the sound of the other instruments and vocal to support that interesting direction where the guitar could take us. Now it feels to me, that the interesting dimension introduced by the guitar is suffocated by other ”normal” stuff.
Also, I like the main melody in verses, but maybe later, you could introduce a bit different rhythms to melody line to create a contrast.
As this is clearly a work in progress, and it fades away quite quickly, it’s very difficult for me to analyze it more thoroughly.
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becsei_gyorgy: OneLastDance
First there is this instrumental part, and then the vocal part. I didn’t find the connection between them. So, to me this feels like two separate songs.
That intro part felt to me like finger practice where you test a new guitar plugin. It’s actually quite good, but maybe a bit sterile.
Then the real song starts. I like it very much. Melody works nicely, arrangement is very good, and the performance is nice. I like the fact that this time you didn’t go too big, but decided to create a small beautiful song. That said, I was actually shocked that I liked the vocal part so much. You said that it was not real voice. Really? I wouldn’t have noticed that. To me it is very convincing, haunting, and it conveys emotions to me. (It makes me wonder that maybe I’m a bit robotic person, as I can relate to those feelings created by a machine.)
So you really managed to fool me, and it makes me wonder what is the future of making the music. Maybe soon I can ask my mobile phone to create a new song for me, based on the events of the day.
But I wont give any extra points nor reduce any because of that vocal performance. You’re at the top of my votes because of the song you have written. The amount of variation is just perfect for this song. Not too much to distract from the mood, but enough to keep the attention in it. Very well done!
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David_John: This_Window_(My_demise)
This starts promisingly. Your performance is again at the top level. Nice use of effects and delays as background texture. But for some reason this doesn’t evolve properly but ends up staying in the starting pits.
Maybe you meant it to be a stagnant image of some mental state. In that case the main problem to me is that — based on your previous submissions — I was expecting the song to be again something extraordinary with more levels. This time I felt that this song is missing the hook or the main point. But it’s still well done. Each and every part is good as such, but I was expecting something magic to come.
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VOTES
► Show Spoiler
01 (10 pts) - becsei_gyorgy
02 (9 pts) - KukoBass
03 (8 pts) - colorado weeks
04 (7 pts) - EKVelika
05 (6 pts) - David_John