Months like these aren't easy to compare songs and genres with each other. They never are. However, the task was to
"just make music". And despite this strong topic, you all did an amazing job - creating something in the first place.
Please be proud of that achievement, and please keep it up.
I now have the difficult task to "break up a tie", even if it's "only" for participants that rank quite low on the chart. We do have this game mechanic for a reason however. And I think this final bit of feedback is just as appreciated.
Feedback:
@a Future in Noise (Bonus Entry):
First and foremost, thank you for posting your entry regardless. A very interesting approach at Classic Pop Rock. Although I would take a different procedure in terms of mixing. I would pull back the bass just a tad (say -1,5 dB to -2,0 dB), and in turn raise the vocals by same amount to reduce the quite loud bass. This changes the flair of the song and gives more focus on the story you're trying to tell.
Another thing that is standing out, is that the instruments all feel like being in different spaces. Drums, guitar, bass, your voice. Maybe create a setup in the future, where you only have two rooms (environments): a "big" one for pushing things further back, and a "shorter (but "warm"/soft one) for content that is more in front. This should help you have everything "on the same stage".
@Arelem:
This is a very nice modern hip hop/pop song. Quite the strong message that is backed up by the pumping beats and the distorted vocals. And this is also where I'd change things around a bit. The kick is a bit too overpowering - I'd reduce it in volume. On small speakers, it's also feels like you're constantly "slamming" a basketball on the pavement. Your lead vocals on the other hand drown a bit in the soundscape (headphones! They cut more through the mix on small/laptop/mobile speakers) - I'd pull them up a bit more. The chorus is okay balance wise.
Another thing standing out, is that this song has loud and clearly noticeable artifact clicks. As if you were recording this mix in real time, but your CPU is overloaded and can't handle the processing power. Maybe have an eye on that in the future.
Such a pity that you submitted your feedback so late and therefore lost out on bonus points... your entry this month is really good
@EsteveCorbera:
The longest entry this month, and it's quite ambient heavy. I like the concept that you can just sit down, put on headphones, lean back, and go for this auditory journey. Compared to your last couple of entries, this mix is way more balanced. Instruments do not stick out as much (some exceptions on small speakers, but this is what sawtooth based synths do). The leading kick drum is a matter of personal taste - it still fits the overall message.
Although the only criticism I have, is that this song is a bit too long. I understand the story behind it, the back and forth, the creeping ups and downs you try to convey, including little sounds and melody layers you have in the middle section (before you change the beat to 4/4 with more syncopated snares). But I would maybe reduce 8 bars from the first section, just to let the song feel less repetitive.
Overall - very nice experience. I felt really drawn into your story. Great improvement on mixing. Could still see some slight adjustments with reverb (main beat section is maybe a bit too much). Keep it up for future games - and do cross-check with other speakers/playback devices (to find a better balance)! Using Hornet Plugins VHS is a great starting point.
Such a pity that nobody gave you any points this month...
@BenjiRage:
First and foremost, welcome to the Songwriting Competition. Now officially with your first entry after trying to also get involved with SWC069 (but couldn't due to time constraints). Second of all... those vocals are "artificial"?! I am absolutely blown away by this. We sure went a long way since Vocaloid. I initially thought this is a "high tier guest artist", which it technically is, but I digress. Also, Aly James instruments providing the core vibe of the late 1980s retro-wave vibes. And Kurzweil K2000 piano? Now that is a company / instrument name I haven't heard in a while (
/me looks over to my own device).
I can't say anything negative about the production really. You do know what you're doing. Although regarding the
"I'm used to master loud" topic... you could still try to work at a certain reference level (like -18dBFS / 0 VU), and to get that "glue" regardless, just utilize a compressor or even compressor array (the infamous "summing bug glue" trick). A "glue" with -2dB GR to -3dB GR goes a long way. Anything at your disposal would work, even ProTools' bundled stock compressor.
Let those transients shine.
Now I'm curious as to how this would sound with a male voice (I mean, I know you can sing from being a Song Provider this month)
(and as bonus sidenote... fellow Mix Challenge community member @becsei_gyorgy did a couple of videos on/with Synthesizer V Pro!)
@KukoBass:
I like the concept of the song, the melancholy that you convey with the pianos and synth. This is a very interesting back and forth. Unfortunately, the synth is a bit too harsh and distracting. It feels like an entity that wants to move around in the stereo field - trying to find a certain spot to be comfortable with. Yet it also feels like lashing out too much (which is only emphasized on small speakers). I'd actually pull that synth back in volume a bit. Bar minimum "limit" the harsh frequencies more (dynamic EQ comes to mind).
I don't know where you mentioned this, but I seem to remember that "vocals" might not be your strong suit. In this case, they were also a bit rushed (due to time constraints). That sadly clearly shows. Even though they fit the song and overall theme, they also feel a bit out of place, thin and "too on top". If I were to try to blend them into the mix, I'd get rid of certain mouth noises first, then address the low-mid bass frequencies (670Hz range, and again around 1,5kHz) to reduce the overall boxy sound. I would also try a different reverb to "blend" into the song. Or, I might go more towards a "radio effect", to have an out of body experience. Then again, I don't think this might suit this song... you tell us something from
your perspective, not an outside one.
All in all - you definitely should trust your workflow more. You've been creating outstanding entries so far. And if there are no vocals, then so be it!
@jinjer93:
First and foremost, a
"welcome to the Songwriting Competition" to you as well. Great to read that this month's game gave you the incentive to just "make more music", material that you want to do, and tell a story in the process. Although, I would have loved to read written down lyrics, since some of your enunciation gets a bit lost in the production. This might be something for the future to improve upon (vocal recordings).
Can't really complain much mix wise. On headphones it sounds coherent (same on small speakers, where the vocals actually "pop out", but the kick gets a bit lost). Albeit the mix is a bit too "compact". As in - barely dynamic movement. Did you maybe also master loud, and then pull down the loudness after the fact? This could explain things. (see the entry by BenjiRage)
One thing to point out: please properly name your files in the future (check the filename template, e.g. post #001).
@VCA-089:
I am definitely heavily reminded of "Indie"/Industrial/Punk productions from the mid/late 1980s, distributed as white labels releases on tape, with sometimes really bad quality and all. It was just "the thing" at that time... press record, play, distribute. I have my own share of experience in that realm as well (this is how you learn proper gain staging, and work with "reference levels").
Your song does have a certain "broken" feeling, with the underlying question of
"what is happening?!" (which is even more emphasized on small speakers). Experimental, yet not at all. Very well executed this month (one can argue about the synthetic sounding guitar chords, but you're still pushing the limits of RealLPC). Although I am a bit confused why you had to write "first 'real' song" in your documentation... you have been part of the SWC for months, and all of your entries have been real to me. Please don't play yourself down.
I can't say much about the mixing. Or want to, rather. It is a general concept, a certain sound and feel that you tried to re-create. And in my opinion, you did that quite well.
@Doc Jon:
I am conflicted with this production. On the one hand, it has a great concept with "fear for AI" and reflecting on that possible outcome with having "digital overlords".
On the other hand, you technically went against established rules regarding "vocal sample usage" (see:
this often referenced thread on restrictions of vocal samples / construction kits, even in
post #001). In this case, the song is built upon the used acapella snippets (they are the "lead", and are barely edited), not your own vocals (they merely work as support and additional here). I am letting it slide this month (as in: no disqualification). The main idea of the Songwriting Competition in September is really
"just make music". And please don't take the following in a negative manner - but in fairness to all other participants, I need to balance things out... so I am withdrawing -5pts from the score sheet. (you are still in the top 3 though)
Production wise, I really like the "glitching out" of both instruments and vocals. The beat falls a bit flat mix wise though (both on studio headphones, and small speakers). But the overall sound is "synth pop" - not a big complaint. It's just slight adjustments I'd do to let things transition a bit better to more playback mediums.
Final Thoughts and Vote:
I would have loved to give everyone points as each entry brought something special. However, my task was to "break up an unbreakable tie". This is why my focus is on "low ranking entries".
Please keep up the good work, and please keep spreading the work. The game is just more fun if there are more people involved.
► Show Spoiler
01 -- Arelem
02 -- VCA-089
03 -- EsteveCorbera