SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC087 November 2024 - Winners announced

[Paramnesia]

You're absolutely right, and I know very well that I can't sing. But I like making songs, and I need to somehow show to a potential singer how the melody goes. So I'm trying to make a "placeholder"-track for the singer that's not really meant to be in the finished product. If this were a "music production" competition, I definitely wouldn't include my voice. But as this is a "songwriting" competition, maybe I'm a little naive in thinking that I'm participating only with the melody, but not with my voice. (For the same reason, I very rarely comment on mixing-related matters.) Nevertheless, lately my voice has turned into such a miserable rasp that I've honestly considered participating in the future only if I'm in the mood to make an instrumental.

I just wanted to follow up with this I think your vocals could have benefitted from being pushed forward a bit more I think your choice to keep them in the background and make them washed out just took away from the rest of the track a bit. As for the performance I also believe just maybe going for it a bit more could have helped, you mention you have a raspy voice and I think that would be PERFECT for a song like this! The voice is an instrument that needs to be practiced, cared for and understood theres lots of great content out there to help out with it I found a channel on YouTube from a vocal instructor named Chris Liepe and his videos have helped me out so much in understanding the different parts of my voice and different techniques I recommend checking him or another channel like that out its all free content and its really incredible. Hope to hear you belting out the next one!

[Paramnesia]

Paramnesia – Occams Krzr
This is very modern metal and right up my alley. I’m a big fan of bands like Meshuggah, Periphery, and others.
The intro is fantastic; I love the sounds you’ve used. The bass tone is excellent and sets a solid foundation for the rest of the track.
You’ve clearly mastered the genre. The rhythm guitar sounds superb, drop G tuning, I believe? Likely a baritone guitar or a 7/8-string.
The riffs are incredible, with hints of Fear Factory or Gojira in places.
The bass tone complements the rhythm guitar perfectly (I’ll have to try this plugin).
The only thing missing is vocals to add nuance to the track.
This is great composition! I’d love to know more about how you mixed the guitars. did you use a multiband compressor for the palm mutes, for example? I might need to check out Nolly’s tutorials too.

Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed it Periphery and Monuments are my favorite bands by a long shot but I've been really getting into Spirit Box and Sleep Token lately too Tesseract also has some really good tracks too.

I would be happy to share some info on the mix, the tuning is drop G# on a 7 string for starters really good ear on that! As for the bass fitting the guitars that took a very long time to achieve Djinn bass is modeled after a Dingwall bass and at this point my version is quite outdated they have put out some much better plugins including Djinn bass 2 and Nolly even released his own plugin so make sure you look around before settling on one!

For some more specifics on each though I'll start with guitars. All rhythm parts are quad tracked which helps give it that thicker sound. I split up my guitars as such, I have a rhythm bus with 2 busses going into it one being my Neural DSP Nolly amp head and the other Neural DSP Omega. On each Amp head bus I run a compressor into each amp as well as automating an octave pedal on and off for certain parts to give a bit more character mostly when I am using single notes but not the faster complex parts. I use a plugin called Dr Drive which is a digital version of the Horizon Devices Precision Drive pedal (basically a souped up tube screamer) I highly recommend picking this one up I believe it's free. Then each amp head is setup to compliment one another the Nolly head (I believe its a modded 6505) is the fizz and more distorted tone and the Omega has more body and mids to it. So for each amp head I have a left and right panned guitar track so I run Neural in stereo mode. From there it all goes into my guitar bus which uses one instance of GGD Zilla cabs this helps to cut down immensly on processing power, then I have a bunch of EQing using Slate CS-EQ, FG-S and FG-N this stage is really about dealing with any frequencies that are out of control such as 3k, 4k, I cut around 600 Hz for the bass to push through a bit and roll back a little 200Hz then boost around 12k and 8k for a bit more sheen. I have a Pro-Q 3 after that with a multiband around 180Hz and a Q of 5.8 to help deal with some extreme palm mute bloom, cut around 1dB of 330Hz with a Q of 1 then notch out some whistle frequencies between 1.6k to 3k and finally a high shelf around 5k and a low pass at 11.5k 24dB/oct. I do have another multiband compressor Pro-MB which is dealing with a much wider area from 53Hz to 235Hz centered at 117.68Hz. And finally I'm using Ozone Imager only about 10% to just give a bit more width to the guitars. Thats pretty much it other than that if you are going to go for this sound just really make sure the guitars are really on time if you are going to quad track!

As for bass I mostly took Nolly's approach and just tweaked a lot of the EQ until I felt it worked with my guitar and drum sound. I used Djinn into a Distressor to give it some more grit then into Neural DSP Parallax, gave the low end some heavy compression for a consistent bottom, then about 0.6 on distortion for both Mid and High. I maxed out the high shelf on the built in EQ, then gave a boost to 250, 500 and 1500. The bus itself I have a TR5 White Channel by IK Multimedia going and boost the Low at 75.5 Hz at 2dB, Low Mid at 200Hz at 1 dB and the Hi Mid at 1.2kHz at 1.5 dB, then a bunch of EQ moves mostly copied from what Nolly does to his bass since he also uses a Dingwall I know I've done some slight modifications here but I can't recall those. It's a great starting point to copy what he did and just make it your own! Then I use FabFilter Pro MB which is sidechained to the kick drum and is a high pass filter aroun 160 Hz this is just to help the kick drum really punch through but still allow the bass to fill up the sound everywhere else. I then used soothe2 to just help cleanup some noise off the high end of the bass.

I should also note that I use automation to adjust the guitar volume to boost 1dB in the breakdown sections, then adjust the bass volume and the room mic and reverb level on the drums constantly through the song on each different part based on the general vibe I was going for I find pulling back in the verses and pushing things up in the choruses really helps the track to feel like its breathing more and amp those sections up I think dynamics are really important in songwriting, having room mics and drum reverb change is a great way to acheive that, the bass going up and down was more of a taste thing really, sometimes it took away a bit too much from the guitars more so on the faster more technical section.

I do wish the song had vocals, however I have been unsuccesful in finding someone to fill that role up till now and I don't believe I am capable of doing it myself.. not to mention I don't have a space to work at it hopefully soon we can get someone to fill that role and finish this song and a bunch of other tracks. Hopefully this helps if you have any other questions feel free to ask!

[Paramnesia]

Paramnesia - OccamsKrz
What power. When things get lively, they almost never stop. Good guitar playing (I guess, I don't understand it). But I have to tell you that I'm not used to hearing this type of music. For me there's too much noise. I need more quiet parts to be able to enjoy your song (it's just a personal opinion, I'm not an expert, so don't pay too much attention to me).
In terms of mixing, I think everything is too compressed, too loud. But I guess that's how it has to be in this type of music.
Personally, I would also add a little reverb to the drums to make them a little distant and integrated into the mix.

Thank you for this comment. As for the compression there is a lot less on the track than you probably think.. I do have some heavy compression running but its used for texture more as a parallel compression. The only compressor I am using on my Instrumental bus basically only activates on the snare hit to give it a pumping sound on the track and help the snare cut through without cranking it up. Though due to the style yes it is just thicker sounding, the quad tracked guitars probably contributes a lot to the sound there and there isn't much I can do to change that without sacrificing what I think would be the character of the sound. I had reverb on my drums but I explored your idea a bit. I ended up finding a really bad ping on the snare drum around 425Hz which lead me to cut it on the snare, overhead, room and reverb tracks. This cleaned up a bunch of noise in the drums and allowed me to bring up the reverb sound overall. The best part was this also created a bit more space for the guitar to be brought up on the high end so I was able to give them a bit more sheen and cut out a bit of the honkyness. Then of course I adjusted the bass to fit better in this new mix. I think overall this mix now has a bit more energy to it and sounds even fuller. This is exactly the sort of thing I was looking for joining this contest, thanks again!

If interested here are the latest edited versions this is just for fun I am not trying to get a new entry or anything let me know if you listen and hear anything else!

Occam's Krzr Adjusted wav - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1N0KhyF ... drive_link

Occam's Krzr Adjusted mp3 - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rwSnpR ... drive_link

[PonySho]

You're absolutely right, and I know very well that I can't sing. But I like making songs, and I need to somehow show to a potential singer how the melody goes. So I'm trying to make a "placeholder"-track for the singer that's not really meant to be in the finished product. If this were a "music production" competition, I definitely wouldn't include my voice. But as this is a "songwriting" competition, maybe I'm a little naive in thinking that I'm participating only with the melody, but not with my voice. (For the same reason, I very rarely comment on mixing-related matters.) Nevertheless, lately my voice has turned into such a miserable rasp that I've honestly considered participating in the future only if I'm in the mood to make an instrumental.

I just wanted to follow up with this I think your vocals could have benefitted from being pushed forward a bit more I think your choice to keep them in the background and make them washed out just took away from the rest of the track a bit. As for the performance I also believe just maybe going for it a bit more could have helped, you mention you have a raspy voice and I think that would be PERFECT for a song like this! The voice is an instrument that needs to be practiced, cared for and understood theres lots of great content out there to help out with it I found a channel on YouTube from a vocal instructor named Chris Liepe and his videos have helped me out so much in understanding the different parts of my voice and different techniques I recommend checking him or another channel like that out its all free content and its really incredible. Hope to hear you belting out the next one!

Hi OlliH

I think Paramnesia is right on the money with his comment about your 'raspy' voice being perfect for your song. Singing in tune is only a small part of a compelling vocal delivery. Aspects like emotional delivery and vocal colour are where the voice gets its signature tone, at least in my books. Pushing the voice into raspy-ness is not all that different to pushing a guitar into saturation/distortion. Listen to Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Kris Kristofferson...the list goes on. I say, celebrate your voice and turn it up!

[PonySho]

i love this fun, high energy song. firmly dancing about in the pop punk atmosphere. there is such a great high polish on everything. the playful repeats of words in the verses are perfect.

Hi @mouse the singer
Thanks for your feedback. Glad you like the song. The playful repeats you mention started off as a kind of accident when I was messing around with the lyrics and I immediately liked them because the added a signature flavour to the singing.

[PonySho]

Excellent, full of hooks, rhythmic changes, etc. Words are well written and the rhythm of words is essential part of rhythm section. And words are also very catchy and go very well with melody. I like the effect you create by repeating essential words. For some reason I'm quite sure that there's plenty of naughty double meanings in those words. Meanings hidden from others but evident to the target audience. But as an outsider I'm not able to pinpoint them.

It sounds and feels like simple song but there seems to be happening quite much under the hood. For example, I'm not able to determine the chord progression just by listening it, but still it feels natural. There seems to be key changes, but they flow so naturally that most of the listeners in the bar won't realise that they are listening quite sophisticated song. If you happen to have children, I'm sure you are able to make them eat healthy food while they are thinking that they are eating their favorite junk food from McDonalds.

So, I think this is truely a great song.

@OlliH, I appreciate your detailed feedback. I mentioned in another post that I didn't intentionally add any naughty inuendo. It made me laugh when I read your comment because very often I do add hidden meanings in my song lyrics...perhaps I do it on autopilot! LOL.
Regarding chord progressions; I usually try and avoid common and overused progressions because I don't find them inspiring. I'm happy to hear that the chord choices weren't that apparent as I didn't want them to be the focus in the song. And...my kids know all my tricks. Even my 4-year old son knows my tricks.

[Elcubano]

I would be happy to share some info on the mix, ....

Thanks so much for all this information about mixing and the plugins used.
It's super interesting and really helpful for this style of music.
I'm going to give it a try! First, I'll work on quadrupling the rhythm guitars, though that’s going to take some extra effort.

[PonySho]

Pony Sho- Stringy......

This song put another song in my mind. The band that sung that MTV song, " look, that aint living, all you do is play your guitar on Mtv, they had to move some refrigerators...etc", I cant remember the name of the song. This is sorta in that style with guitars and the singer and verses. Sounds pretty good, I dont play much Rock or Distorted Guitar much in my productions. What I do hear is if this was in a commercial of some sort, would it work, I think it could, taking a section of this and using it. Good job sir.

@R0boooo Thanks for your feedback. That song you refer to is 'Money For Nothing' by Dire Straits...a great song for sure.
I only really know that because many years ago I saw the band live and got a signed vinyl album. If I had a even a 10th of the talent of Mark Knopfler...

When writing my song I wasn't inspired by any other songs, just wanted to create an Indie vibe with a fairly prosaic topic...nothing deep and meaningful, but energetic and impactful. First production I've done for a while where I haven't used any vocal tuning just so I could get a bit of rawness into the song.

Thanks again for your time reviewing.

[Mister Fox]

A friendly reminder:
We're in the final 24 hours to submit your feedback and cast your vote.

As of this moment, 2 participant is missing (@VCA-089, @A Future in Noise). @R0boooo currently misses feedback for two users (for Elcubano and A Future in Noise), and the post also misses the vote. Please get that sorted out today.


Please check post #055 regarding the feedback and voting mechanic. Giving feedback is mandatory (the only criteria to become disqualified). Please don't let yourself be put at a disadvantage by not participating (fully). The Songwriting Competition lives from the given feedback towards each other. Don't just "collect" and then move on - this is unfair to all other participants.

Outside feedback is welcome, of course.

[A Future in Noise]

I just discovered that the deadline is tonight, December first. It's been a while since I participated in this contest, and I thought the deadline was the second of the “month after”, if the contest month has only 30 days (like November).

I'm having a hard time finding time to write decent feedback now during the day. So I'm thinking of posting my feedback tomorrow, the second of December. Then I'll be disqualified (I guess?), but I guess it's the feedback that's important here, and not the competition itself? Maybe @Mister Fox has a view on this?