SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Winners announced

[Rich_Rath]

Ok, I hope I did this right. The voting part was hard because all the songs had merits.
The songs:

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Arelem wrote: ↑Mon Sep 05, 2022 15:37 HST
"Here For You"

Thanks for this song. Supportive people are awesome and have a tough job.

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PocketSunlight wrote: ↑Wed Sep 14, 2022 02:33 HST
"Never Enough"

I love the guitar in this song, and you have a great voice. Looking forward to checking out more of yr stuff. Thnx for your song!

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A Future in Noise wrote: ↑Thu Sep 15, 2022 03:07 HST
"Mental Health"
I am really impressed by the lovely timbre of the acoustic guitar parts -- excellent recording chops. The orchestral parts melded in a really nice way that brought the whole thing together
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Olli H wrote: ↑Thu Sep 15, 2022 09:54 HST
"Miten jouduinkaan tähän mukaan" (translation: How did I get involved in all this?)
I really like the music, it has a total vibe as I mentioned earlier. I wish I knew Finnish, as I imagine the impact of your wife's intriguing lyrics is probably even stronger to someone who knows the language. Maybe we can have multiple language versions a la "Heroes"


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GamaGama wrote: ↑Sat Sep 17, 2022 06:07 HST
"FakeJam(aica)"
This one grew on me over time. I really enjoyed it once the organ groove kicks in.
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KukoBass wrote: ↑Mon Sep 19, 2022 03:15 HST
"Depression"
This one evokes the actual monotonous hell of depression, and I do mean that as a compliment though it is hard to make it sound like one ! I really like the minimalist approach, especially what you have done with the repeating Synth part.


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Dear David John wrote: ↑Mon Sep 19, 2022 19:56 HST
"Love Takes"
What a lovely song. You have great voice and an excellent touch with arrangement.
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EsteveCorbera wrote: ↑Tue Sep 20, 2022 10:32 HST
"Meditactio12"
This one is calming and a lovely interval of tranquility for me. Thank you!
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thenanocats wrote: ↑Thu Sep 22, 2022 23:44 HST
"Good Enough"

Awesome song, and something I think many people, including myself, experience, especially creative types, since creating things leaves you vulnerable. I really enjoyed the music, catchy as can be with lots of hookiness and layers of careful sound design.

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J.Golden12345 wrote: ↑Sat Sep 24, 2022 07:47 HST
"In My Remains"

I really like the mood you set up with the music. I wish the vocals were a little more forward as I could not get much of the lyrics,. What I did get was really evocative, which I guess is to the point.

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aurelien.c wrote:
dissociatedidentity
Dissociation is so weird, it is such a good survival tool in the midst of trouble but causes all sorts of havoc when it sticks around after the trouble is gone. I don't know if your song is meant to evoke that sense of splitting off, but that's what I thought of as the various parts of the song, each quite different but fitting together, opened up. Maybe over-interpretation on my part?

Vote

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01 (11 pts) - thenanocats
02 (10 pts) - Olli H
03 (9 pts) - PocketSunlight
04 (8 pts) - KukoBass
05 (7 pts) - EsteveCorbera
06 (6 pts) - A Future in Noise
07 (5 pts) - J.Golden12345
08 (4 pts) - Dear David John
09 (3 pts) - aurelien.c
10 (2 pts) - Arelem
11 (1 pts) - GamaGama

[aurelien.c]

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Arelem - "Here For You"

Nice sound overall, however I am not a fan of the melody - harmony combination, the riff and chords are pretty static / circular so I would have liked the vocals to be more "autonomous", with longer rythmic values on the verse maybe?


Rich_Rath - "All Empty"

I am not a connoisseur of this style at all, I feel like the drums are a bit loud and the vocals a bit quiet.
Also I was expecting the musical sentances to follow a 4 bars (at 4/4) grouping but between 0:41 to 1:00 I count 7 mesure, it might be on purpose but the "cadence" on the lyrics "...thoughts they are still clear" is very unsettling.

PocketSunlight - "Never Enough"

I thought we had to submit pieces wrote especially for the competition, this is several mounth old.
Otherwise, I enjoyed the song. I found the cymbals crashes very unatural and the last synth chord too cheesy, the simple synergy of voice/guitar/bass/drums does a very good job.

A Future in Noise - "Mental Health"

Pretty solid in term of song structure, nice little riffs here and there.
Your string section really deserve better, either in VST, or in expression control, or both.
The mix presence of your voice seems a bit weak.

Olli H - "Miten jouduinkaan tähän mukaan"

Ain't the voice too quiet? Maybe it's because I find the singing style to lack in energy regarding the others sections.
Considering the theme, it's hearing such a joyfull song is surprising, but it is really well done.
I would have enjoyed the bassline to be as elaborate as the guitar, especally in the chorus where it arpeggiate the chords, its a bit poor.

GamaGama - "FakeJam(aica)"

Even if there is good melodic ideas here and there, it all sound too "MIDI" to me.
I am also bothered by the bass ostinato ( D - A - C# | E - B - D# depending on the section), it's too simple to me.

KukoBass - "Depression"

Great sytnh and trumpet sound (good expression countrol and nunaces), nice mixing balance...
I am a bit disappointed that there is no evolution (regarding harmony, timbres...) throught the piece, I know its about depression but still...

David John - "Love Takes"

Awesome voice and good production.
I feel like its not your first song, I am sure you can pull out something more sophisticated than this, I don't mind the piano part to be simple but a real feat come from making something simple and yet uncommon.

EsteveCorbera - "Meditactio12"

The beginning of the piece gave me hope for something atonal or at least dissonant.
Even if it sound good, I find a lack of composer intentions, there is a "pause menu" vibe to it, as it doesn't goes from point A to point B, there is no tension / resolution there is no development of a theme, there is no build up by stacking intruments on top of each others.
It's not like I don't like it but as it is a songwriting competition I feel like this is almost the opposite of songwriting.

thenanocats - "Good Enough"

Love how everything sound, very weel produced.
That being said the piece can be summed up to a 20 second snippet, I wish there were more melodic / rythmic / harmonic ideas.

J.Golden12345 - "In My Remains"

Sound good from beginning to end, packs a lot of personnality (maybe an impression I have because I don't listen to this style of music enough).
You went thought the effort of having a little bridge ( 0:41 - 0:48) anc a C part (2:25 - 2:50) that doesn't follow your chord grid and yet stay very coherant with the whole song.

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01 (11 pts) - J.Golden12345
02 (10 pts) - KukoBass
03 (9 pts) - Olli H
04 (8 pts) - Dear David John
05 (7 pts) - A Future in Noise
06 (6 pts) - PocketSunlight
07 (5 pts) - Arelem
08 (4 pts) - EsteveCorbera
09 (3 pts) - thenanocats
10 (2 pts) - Rich_Rath
11 (1 pts) - GamaGama

[PocketSunlight]

Feedback below includes, tunes listen after my original feedback. Good luck, all

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Mix Challenge Feedback

Arelem – The production is quite good (maybe a bit Bass light). I note your have issues with your own voice – I think you do a reasonable job but there’s a few flat sung notes that mar it in places.
I think maybe there’s a lack of dynamics in places – perhaps because it’s too compressed/sonically limited?

Rich Rath – I quite like the drive and tempo of the song, and also the style of vocal presentation. I feel the playing needed to be much tighter to eliminate disruptive cross rhythms and allow the ‘bounce’ of the tune to shine. I note you explain why the timing is like it is – just attempting feedback on what I actually heard! Thank you for the opportunity to hear it and best wishes.

A Future In Noise – I particularly like the evolution sonically from 0.45 seconds. Got lots of interesting ideas/textures going on, which make it a nice journey. Liked the subtle solo too. Thanks for sharing.

Ollie H – Although I understood the ‘beginning’ I don’t understand the ‘Finnish’ (This is meant to be an English joke!). I specially enjoyed sonically the bridge and the bounce of the chorus. I’m not particularly great at giving feedback, technical or otherwise, but I wondered if some of the vocal lines might have benefited from double tracking? Good to heard what you do, nevertheless.

Gama Gama - I liked the blend of Caribbean and Arabic melodies, together with the slide style guitar. A fun piece and certainly uplifting. I think the production needs improving (as, to my ears, it sounds very dated sonically), but a very interesting arrangement and a balanced mix.

Kukobass - Like the feel of this piece – the vocal effect works well. NI Mute Trumpet sounds great! I felt that maybe the piece could have ended a minute earlier, as, for me, there wasn’t enough to sustain my interest. Felt like something could have been removed prior to the drum ending? Just my 10 cents.

Dear David John – Reminded me a bit of Coldplay. Voice fairly similar in tone – very nice voice and the lines well sung, with great feeling. Nicely presented Backing vocals. Felt the tune would have benefited from more instrumentation, later on.

Esteve Corbera – Maybe I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, when I played this, as (apologies if it sounds rude) I felt the intro too bland to sustain my interest – things picked up a bit when the sampled voice came in. I know it is meant to be a meditative piece and I’m sure it is absolutely fine for that purposes – just trying to stay awake here! The mix was balanced enough. I wish you well.

Nano Cats – Kicks out of the speakers! I like the vocal production but find the tune a bit monotonous (sorry). The ‘shaker’ bit on vocal makes it seem like you don’t really believe your sentiments (to me) emotively. Best wishes.

J.Golden12345 Interesting entry. I think there's some timing issues and the drums seem a bit too upfront - good effort, none the less. Really loved the thumbnail too!

Aurelien.c I think some of the transitions between sections are a bit awkward – it felt (to me) a bit like some samples had just been strung together? Liked the tremolo string sample near the end though. Good luck.

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01 (11 pts) - Dear David John
02 (10 pts) - A Future In Noise
03 (9 pts) - Olli H
04 (8 pts) - Arelem
05 (7 pts) - Gama Gama
06 (6 pts) -Rich Rath
07 (5 pts) - J.Golden12345
08 (4 pts) - Kukobass
09 (3 pts) - thenanocats
10 (2 pts) -Esteve Corbera
11 (1 pts) - Aurelien.c

[Mister Fox]

Just a quick reminder, everyone:
Please document your production. (edit the post of your main entry)

I really liked reading your stories, but please keep in mind that especially collaborative efforts (other musicians) and samples (Creative Commons licenses, or "snagged and heavily mangled") need to be properly pointed out. This month, I'm taking it lenient on listing your equipment (you really do not need to list every piece), but maybe tell us for example how you recorded that guitar lead which people liked, or maybe hint a bit at your vocal chain, etc. This adds to the learning aspect of the game -- else, you might loose out on bonus points


To those that were not participating, but are listening in and want to give feedback as well:
Please do so, as participants are always after constructive criticism and helpful feedback (e.g. mixing). However, you do not need to vote. In fact, only the votes by the participants will count (this is the main game mechanic).



Have fun listening, and please enjoy the rest of the weekend.

[J.Golden12345]

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Arelem - Here for you
Realy gave me some 2008 vibes, love the production design,
especially the vocal verse vs chorus.

Rich Rath - All Empty
Wow, if I wouldn't have known better I could swear
I hear Bob Dylan. Production a bit overcrowded, but
especially that makes it only match better.

Pocket Sunlight - Never Enough
Drums could be louder, at least Snare and Base drum, aside from
that: I love the roughness and catchiness of the song.

A Future in Noise - Mental Health
Radio on and back to the 70's...
Love the arrangement and the warm guitars.

Olli H - Miten jouduinkaan tähän mukaan
This needs to get on finnish radio!!!
Cool Modulations.

Esteve Corbera
Very relaxing, a track to come down and heal mental wounds.
Interesting sound choices.

The Nano Cats - Good Enough
I love the arrangement and the humor ("Shaker").
Cool play with silence.

Aurelien C. - Dissociatedidentity
So weird, so strange: It doesn't strive to be beautiful,
formulaic, but chaotic and uneasy. But that's exactly what makes it perfect
for this theme.

Kuko Bass - Depression
I love the dark jazzy mood and great unsettling production.

GamaGama - Fake
Definitely put a smile on my face.

David John - Love Takes
Beautiful Ballad, though took me some time to get to your page.

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01. Aurelien C. (11 Pts)
02. Kuko Bass (10 Pts)
03. Dear David John (9 Pts)
04. Rich Rath (8 Pts)
05. Pocket Sunlight (7 Pts)
06. Nano Cats (6 Pts)
07. Arlem (5 Pts)
08. Olli H (4 Pts)
09. A Future in Noise (3 Pts)
10. Esteva Cobera (2 Pts)
11. GamaGama (1 P)

[Mister Fox]

Just one small request, everyone. Especially from our new community members:

Positive feedback and words of encouragement is always fine. But if possible, and if you feel comfortable doing that, maybe you have noticed something in a song that could be improved. So please do talk about that. Maybe most prominently with the tracks that are low on your personal score sheet. This way, participants can learn from this experience and improve on ones production in the future.

Thank you.

[Olli H]

I guess I commented almost everyone before. Here’s some further comments.

aFutureInNoise, MentalHealth
The more I listen to this more I like it. Beautiful melody with some surprise chords. Strong 60’s-70’s feeling. To me it’s a positive attribute. I like especially those small fills made with the electric piano. Nice work with drums that support the song but don’t try to steal the show.

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Arelem, Here For You
Very convincing feel in the singing to convey that delicate message. The strong personal level of the content could carry the message easily to the broader public. Also, the playing feels flawless. Chorus explodes nicely after more delicate verses. Transitions from verses to choruses, etc. very well done.

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aurelien.c, Dissociated Identity
Very interesting opening. Soon it starts to sound like a horror film. In that sense it starts to feel like a good description of the ”dissociated identity”, whatever it means. As no part repeats during the listening moment, and there is no melody line, it’s difficult to remember anything afterwards, and for that reason it doesn’t feel like a song to me, but rather as a sound track to some specific film scene. But, without that visual content it’s a bit difficult for me to relate to this, especially within the context of a songwriting competition. Anyhow, you seem to be very skillful in using music to match images. Instruments are chosen and used very skillfully to convey the images. I guess you can play multiple instruments, or at least you know what is essential to them, for you seem to know well how to take shades, colours and nuances out of virtual instruments.

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Esteve Corbera, Meditacio12
Opening feels a bit like a horror film that is about to start. But then it turns into very beautiful and relaxing atmosphere. I like how the bass carries the song all the way. As the lady produces strong levels of reverb, the dry signal of it could be a bit darker, i.e. less with transients and that way more distant. Now it’s at the same time near (bright with transients) and far (heavy doses of reverb). I like the way the drums are used, very leonard-cohenian way.

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GamaGama, FakeJam(aica)

Oriental opening creates some sort of expectation what is to come, but for some reason it never comes back. That way it feels a bit separate from the song. Each part is very skillfully done with fills, etc. and they work as such very nicely. Nothing to complain about any single moment. But some of the parts, that should provide a clear difference to previous moments, are probably too similar to previous one. As if after cooked potatoes there is french fries served. Also, as this is an instrumental with a big band, there could be more leading instruments that could do their interpretations of the melodic theme each on its own way. I feel you have all the skills to do some magic with music. But, I guess, maybe you just have to leave the theoretical thinking behind when the magical moment is about to come, and jump to unknown, and let your intuition lead on your way. If you manage to do that, please, guide me in that process.

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J.Golden12345, In my remains
Skillfully done 7/8 groove. Overall production reminds me of Powfu, whom I like very much. Vox could be louder for it has a strong soulful vibe. Melody line is probably repeating itself too much, it could offer more nuances. Now it lacks the clear hook part or chorus. The differences of the sequential parts of the song are made mainly with arrangement tricks.

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KukoBass, Depression
Very strong submission, insightful spare instrumentation that doesn’t need anything more. Like a modern simplified version of ”Revolution Nine”. Interesting use of drums at the end of song.

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PocketSunlight, NeverEnough
Starts immediately like 80’s hit. Very strong hook. Energy level could have some more variations. With more listenings it starts to feel that theres only a chorus. Or is it the verse that carries the main hook. Ending of the song feels a bit weird or sudden. Overall very skillfully done prickly song. For some reason - despite the explanation in your YouTube channel - I like to interpret this as an internal communication with one’s own dissatisfied self, as some sort of self-healing process.

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Rich_Rath, All_Empty
This one developed hugely during the commenting phase. I like the punk attitude: ”I want to say this, and i say it no-matter what”. As it is punk country it should be musically simple as it is now. But that musical simplicity should be compensated with with an extra attitude level, ie. more some sort of ”the rage of ape”. Probably the rough version had more that attitude, and the final version became a bit too clean. So, a bit more of flowing exactness and drive to the playing, and slightly more of that freely flowing attitude you have within you, this would have been a top one. I’m extra thrilled of the fact you’re not youngster anymore, but still you have eagerness to come forward with punk attitude. In that way you’re showing me the way, for I’m struggling with the same kind of problem. I hope you keep doing that stuff and find your way to channel all you energy to your songs. I’m waiting eagerly your next contribution.

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TheNanoCats, Good_Enough
Strong monotonic song. The lyrics combined with that relaxed attitude makes me think this as some sort of introspective sarcasm, that can be sometimes very healing. The repetitiveness suits very well this song. The special rhythm of the lyrics makes this work. That short silence just before ”never have…” just perfect. ”Shaker!”, I love that. I would have preferred mono vocal sound. It could have given a better focus on lyrics.

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Dear David John, Love Takes
Strong song with a spare instrumentation. Its not an easy task but you made it very well. Very expressive voice. Maybe piano could give a bit more variations to overall performance. Chorus flows nicely, but verses have some rhythmical issues in melody lines that slightly disturb the flow and the listening experience.

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01 (11 pts) KukoBass, Depression
02 (10 pts) PocketSunlight, NeverEnough
03 (9 pts) Arelem, Here For You
04 (8 pts) TheNanoCats, Good_Enough
05 (7 pts) aFutureInNoise, MentalHealth
06 (6 pts) GamaGama, FakeJam(aica)
07 (5 pts) Esteve Corbera, Meditacio12
08 (4 pts) J.Golden12345, In my remains
09 (3 pts) Dear David John, Love Takes
10 (2 pts) Rich_Rath, All_Empty
11 (1 pts) aurelien.c, Dissociated Identity

[J.Golden12345]

Ok, then also from me a more in-depth critic of all the songs:

Please notice this is just my personal opinion, we all got different eras and meanings.


GamaGama

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I really love your attitude and positivity.
The arrangement is very fine, as are the melodies,
However, I've come to notice that sometimes (due to sound/quality differences)
the whole package sounds sometimes a bit like plastic.
Tiny hint: it's not the brass and horns, they are perfect.
the only reason you are last on my list,
though I really enjoy your song as an uplifter, is because I think it really has nothing
to do with mental health awareness. Helping to gain awareness is not to necessarly
try to solve it or just give good vibes but to relate to it and tell stories about it.
Though I think your song will be a good skillsong for people with mental health issues.

Esteva Cobera

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very well-done therapy song. Love your production and sound arrangements.
Sometimes the vocals are a bit too loud and the Hihat in sound terms breaks
a bit the vibe as it doesn't blend with the rest of your production.
Why it's so low on my list: is that it is a better fit in "songs for healing",
lesser being aware of mental health. Still enjoy it though.

A Future in noise

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I really loved your 60/70s production vibe and style is exquisite.
Vocals could be louder though.
The only way your song is in the lower places in my vote is due to personal preferences
and me feeling like in music video with flowers in the grass while hearing it.

Olli H

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First of all amazing lyrics and amazing modulations. It really gave me some A-ha meets the Beatles vibes
with it still being it's very own thing.
Though being very melancholic in its chorus I think it would have benefited a bit more
from a darker and sometimes more menacing sound production/mixing giving it a more satyrical feel in the
verses with the more uplifting chords, implying more of the rift your main character is in

.

Arlem

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Cool production, love the 2005-010's Sound. One thing though I noticed is that your chorus was a bit pitchy,
as was the solo which had a bit too much fizzle in it.
Aside from that cool and very grounded lyrics. Simplistic but I like them.
love to hear more from you.

Nano Cats

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Amazing Electro-Punk production and amazing arrangement. All fits perfectly. I would have loved to hear more,
I found the repeating of your lyrics after some time a bit on the nose though.
Aside from that perfect production that might have fitted a little bit better with some unease moments
to imply the theme a bit more.

Pocket Sunlight

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This is cool, amazing, and wild rock as rock should be. Not Perfect but wild and that makes it perfect.
Drums could have been mixed a bit louder though. And the outro is a bit too long for my taste.
Nevertheless, I'm thrilled and excited to hear more of your music.

Rich Rath

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Dylanesque in every way. I love it. The last 4 songs I'm feedbacking are all sharing
the favorite spot in my heart. Though some light doubling on the bridge vocals and a better guitar solo/better-implemented
solo sound would have been nice. The lyrics are just fantastic and inspirational.
If I got one day the time it would be an honor for me to interpret your song.

David John

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Amazing Ballad, amazing Performance and production. Awesome vibe.
It really touched me and got under my skin.
The only thing I have to critique is that it's not really a mental health awareness
song but an amazing love/heartache song. But it's so good that it just had to be in my top 3.

Kuko Bass

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Miles Daviesey as hell. Damn is this good! Though some more variations and a "warmer" less sharp base drum
would have been nice.
Truly the sound of depression.

Aurelien C.

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Though it's very chaotic and has weird transitions it's probably the best fitting entry.
I first had to listen to some more stuff of yours, but it's on purpose the way it is. Isn't it?
To anyone who asks how it feels to switch and how the world feels around, stressing and weird, this is it.
This is how it feels to dissociate.
It may not be a conventional song, but what is a song after all? I love it.
I won't listen to it a lot though because it's a bit triggering for me.

Voting

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01. Aurelien C. (11 Pts)
02. Kuko Bass (10 Pts)
03. Dear David John (9 Pts)
04. Rich Rath (8 Pts)
05. Pocket Sunlight (7 Pts)
06. Nano Cats (6 Pts)
07. Arlem (5 Pts)
08. Olli H (4 Pts)
09. A Future in Noise (3 Pts)
10. Esteva Cobera (2 Pts)
11. GamaGama (1 P)

[A Future in Noise]

Thanks for your kind words @J.Golden12345 But the second half of your comment - are some words missing? I have read it at least ten times now, but I simply don't understand. It could be the fact English isn't my native language, but I don't think that's the reason, this time. (And your list - is it on its way?)

[J.Golden12345]

Fixed it