SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC048 August 2021 - Winners announced

[Rowan]

The 90% was of course just saying. I did not count your words. When I do: actually only your feedback on becsei_gyorgy - Monophobia was 86% on his mix and 66% on mine (did not include your statistics). I guess for someone who is advising others on how to feedback, in a songwriting challenge, you're not doing that much better. You go very in-depth mixing wise, and a bit superficial composition wise in comparison. What I am saying: if you want to tell others how it's done, lead by example !

I will write same thing that I write before becuase you did not read my post you quoted or not understand it.
"I always write about things that for me are kind of distracting and make the track worse then it could be if those things were fixed."

This mean my feedback for becsei_gyorgy was mostly mix wise because I like the composition and track, so I pointed my feedback to mix that I do not like. Do I have repeat that I like his composition over and over? If I like it as it is what should I tell him more about it?

I think it's good to leave our little "quarrel" at this. You seem a very on edge person. I did not mean to attack you, merely to provide a mirror for your own statements.

Thank you for the feedback on my song. It is indeed more of a pop format composition wise, I aimed to be somewhat in the same ballpark as Gorillaz with this production.

[TrojakEW]

I think it's good to leave our little "quarrel" at this. You seem a very on edge person. I did not mean to attack you, merely to provide a mirror for your own statements.

First think I should mention is that I'm Non-Native English Speakers so it is possible that my post may sound offensive. It is not that easy for me to write in English. I'm from Slovakia.

Not sure what phrase "very on edge person" but I'm not offended and I do not wanted to offend anyone. I just wanted to say that we need bit "better" feedback. No matter what you will write, just write more. I'm sure people here will appreciate it.

It is important to discuss everything in this regard. So I have answered your question. why my feedback is like it is.

This also bring more life to the forum.

[VCA-089]

I have updated my post...

[Mister Fox]

Oh... looks like we are raising the bar by also getting music videos for the Songwriting Competition.


Well, the focus is still on "music", not music videos. So no worries - I consider it bonus content

But I've updated the song collection post. In the future though, I might limit it to realtime players however, and then mention "additional releases in original post" (especially if they drop in later). Mostly for readability purposes. We'll see how this goes for SWC049/September.

[celiodie]

In my evaluations I will try to focus mainly on the composition and choice of timbres, and only marginally on the mix. I apologize in advance for translating with Google.

VCA-089 - Psychedelic Sea
The composition starts from a valid idea but remains confused in development and in certain points it is not clear if it can be a basis for a song not yet inserted or if it tries to be a standalone piece but with areas that remain poor in stimuli. The guitar solo in the final section brings attention back to the center but would make more sense if it came after a real vocal. I like the rhythm section in the first few bars but then it turns out to be a bit contrived compared to the rest. The choice of sounds is well calibrated in the balance but the choice of electronic timbres is not always centered and there is an excessive use of sounds with a vocal timbre used in a somewhat naive way.

Esteve Corbera - Descan
It is a composition that displaces and surprises: the voice creates an alienating effect that may not please adepts of rigid musical genres, but it seems to me the best feature of the piece, that of transgressing boundaries between genres and bringing the listener into a hitherto unknown territory. The attempt seems successful, bravo! Even the intertwining between bass and harmonies has its own mechanics with an alienating effect that helps to give the piece a special charm. If I can suggest some improvements I would like there to be more attention to the clarity of the timbres and the mix, because the content deserves but sometimes everything remains a bit opaque here.

Becsei György - Monophobia
The beginning of the composition made me say "Here is the best piece of the Challenge", a really effective and attractive beginning. Great atmosphere, great choice of sounds and spaces. Unfortunately, this beautiful initial quality loses some clarity and effectiveness in the course of the piece and is partly found in the final part. There is a succession of too many melodies without a real development, while perhaps the idea presented at the beginning had to be preserved, re-proposed and developed. Overall, however, it remains a job well done with excellent tone and mix choices.

Rowan - Finer Than Before
Does the musical idea behind this piece seem to draw from very different genres, a little Rock? a little bit Blues? But it is a bit perplexing, it is difficult to emotionally tune in to a center that gives meaning, that gives a soul to the whole piece. The sound of the electronic bass, interesting in the first few seconds, remains too smug in its well thought-out filter, and ends up tiring. There is a lot of ideas, but perhaps are there too many in the same song? Each of those ideas deserved more space and development, in my opinion.

TrojakEW - Hope
The initial shock is to find yourself in front of a sort of cover of a famous piece by the Enigma of the 90s. Once passed, a song is undoubtedly professionally made with times and pauses functional to listening. This is why it is not clear why there is such an intrusive presence of the reverse tape sound that is very effective at the beginning but then ends up annoying and repetitive. The sounds of the Electronics are well chosen and well blended, even if in some cases they are quite obvious or perhaps naive but always studied anyway.

I hope you all appreciate these comments which I have tried to make in a positive way...

► Show Spoiler

01 (10 pts) - Esteve Corbera - Descan
02 (09 pts) - Becsei György - Monophobia
03 (08 pts) - TrojakEW - Hope
04 (07 pts) - Rowan - Finer Than Before
05 (06 pts) - VCA-089 - Psychedelic Sea

[becsei_gyorgy]

Thank you for being able to participate in the competion again in the company of such great songs.
I heard quite inspiring things in the songs, it was enjoyable to listen to all of them several times, I am especially happy about that. Each song had an individuality, which is a special good point in each case.
(Sorry for the help of Google Translate )


Rowan - Finer Than Before
A song with a pleasant serenity. it’s good to listen to a real singer/songwriter song in this competition with original vocals. Nice vocals.
The outro seems a bit different in the end than what we would expect in sound, a little different from the rest of the song, not bad, but then I would make such a sound as an intro as well - or how good it would be this sound during breaks, because the repeating bass pattern is a bit simple, it can be more varied.
in addition to the pleasantly slow flow of the song, you need a little ingenuity, which makes it more varied. Small drum or bass variations.
eg 2:50- very good percussive change, but then either the bass can change (either in rhythm or in sound or pattern) from the previous part (by the way i think there is too much compression here, a little more natural snaps and drums would be better).
As for the mix, I think the resonant middle due to the pluck is a bit confusing, but I think TrojakEW said everything, I’m too beginner to add any cleverness.
Overall, a pleasant song that is almost perfect for a live performance, and just a little bit of development need for a record release. And once again: it’s a pleasure to hear live vocals and performance, it would be nice to have it more than once

TrojakEW - Hope
Quite great as I turn on/off the mono button and there is little difference in volume. That's great.
However, listening to sound through headphones is a bit reverby (wide?) for me (maybe it may not seem so wide or too echoy when listening through speakers).
Neat percussive elements, a little too foreground, but that's just my taste here (considering the genre as well), otherwise sounds good.
There is nothing to say about the vocals, the Tarilonte libraries are pretty good. Enjoyment, it lies well in the song as well, the melody is also ok.
Overall, the song sounds good, a pleasant, slightly medieval atmosphere.
I miss the journey a bit in the structure. The structure is simple: A - Break - B (A'). That's not bad, although we could actually swap parts A and B, it would sound the same. I miss the development in the song a bit, the journey as we get from one point to another with dynamic or rhythmic or melody changes etc.
The song doesn’t unfold enough (or maybe too short for it), but it is very pleasant music.

Esteve Corbera - Descans
Good choice of instruments. I like the drum groove (and the drum sounds).
I also really liked the vocals, except for the resonance (and sometimes the loudness), it needs a bit of processing for the mix, but I really have the composition there.
Less soothing song than the others (but fits in the genre well), no doubt a peculiar mood, which, however, immediately triggered my imagination. Vibrant images, a slightly darker, underground environment appeared before my eyes.
Exciting journey, I enjoyed it from the beginning. A cinematic feeling all the way through. Nice.
I enjoyed listening again and again. The most inspiring song.

VCA-089 - Psychedelic Sea
Nice intro but a bit long.
Pleasant, a bit back to the 80s feel with these synthesizers, especially with those reverbed drums.
Overall nice, pleasant music, I can smoothly imagine it as background music for videos. Clever.
But the downside of this pleasant background music is that there is no central melody, coherent composition, but rather separate units, not really put together into a single image.
The sounds are great, a song built with a lot of work, but the real song (structure) development is missing for me.

celiodie - Nightmall
interesting intro, instantly grabs the attention of the song.
Pleasant, calm song but there is very little dynamic change in it, so it seems a bit monotonous.
A great entrance of the brass sound at 2:08.
Very dark feeling, lack of high frequencies and very prominent bass. Low-mid is a bit empty.
A little more dynamics and a little more variety in the base pattern would make the song even more enjoyable.
But the idea and vision are good, the song is pleasant, calm, a little improvement would be needed to complete it

► Show Spoiler

10pt TrojakEW - Hope
09pt Esteve Corbera - Descans
08pt VCA-089 - Psychedelic Sea
07pt Rowan - Finer Than Before
06pt celiodie - Nightmall

[VCA-089]

Here is my feedback:

1. becsei_gyorgy - Monophobia

Very catchy groove with TR-808 sounds and organic percussion, the finger snap is a bit too bright, especially when it is combined with the snare. The atmosphere is kinda melancholic which fits the end of summer feel. There are some interesting choices regarding instrument arrangement, but it feels like the main focus is on vocal pharases and melodic parts are mostly in the background. It also feels like the vocals are taken from completely different stylistic worlds. The composition remains the same over the course of the song, the interest held mostly by vocals and special effects. Overall mix is good, but as I said there is too much brightness on drums/percussion.

For the purpose of a challenge this song fits well, but there is a things that could be inmproved. The vibe is may be too melancholic for chillout. The melodic parts could be more developed and upfront. The beats could be more "varm" as was described in the premise.

2. Rowan - Finer Than Before

This song's minimalistic approach and overall style is very complimentary for the genre. The drums and percussion plays well with the funky synth bass (guitar), which is actually played live. It goes really well with occasional melodic synth parts. The vocals are very good and very well produced. It is always great to hear some one singing live rather than abusing another overprocessed vocal library. Althrough the song has a kinda sparse arrangement it doesn't feels boring over time. The mix is very good and well balanced, no complaints.

To me this song fits the premise very well. It is good because it doesn't tries to be everything at the same time. It has a very bold style and appearance where every element supports the vibe. Plus for live playing and singing, which makes this song even more original. It actually could be used on a B-side of some successful record in the 90's.

And please, next time write your lyrics in the submission post.

3. TrojakEW - Hope

A very solid entry. It has a dreamy and relaxed vibe in it. A lot of synthetic pads and melodic parts with a lo-fi quality that creates deep soundscape. The vocals reminds of 90's New Age music, they doesn't feel processed too much and works for creating atmosphere. The drum groove is very smooth and laid back, as it was asked in the premise. Overall production level is undoubtedly very good.

Stylisticly this entry drifts towards New Age territory but still it fits into premise. It has a feeling of journey into foregn countries. It may fit into some documentary about Mediterranean.

4. EsteveCorbera - Descans

Actuall this theme has a very nice appearance as a smooth electronic downtempo. The synths and pads with the drum beat sounds very nice and creates a foundation for a good track. Then there troubles begins. The vocals are very loud, they not only stick too much out of the mix but also stylisticly feels like from another universe. The song starts with a wierd sounds like the vocalist is uncertain of what she is doing and make random noises. The other vocal parts feels wierd also, their frequency balance always changes like they were recorded on different microphones or in the different rooms. Heavily autotuned and compressed they feels too "in the face", which makes the whole thing drift away from chillout territory. Overall production also needs some tweaking, starting with instrument levels and overall dynamics.

To me it is hard to tell does this theme fits anywhere at this state. It certainly needs to be reworked in terms of fitting vocals into the main track, or adjusting main track to fit the vocals. Or it could become two different tracks in different genres and styles.

5. CELIODIE - Nightmall

Nice entry overall. A very calm vibe in this song, great for background listening. The overall dark tone (in terms of frequency balance) are very reminiscent of a cassette tape. The subtle clipping on the drum beat (mosty noticeable on bassdrum) also reminds of an old tape. The composition consist of a repeated theme with some variations of instrument timbre and melodies. There could be some variations, breakdowns, modulations etc. The song starts with mangled radio sample that disappears in the middle of the song and then suddenly appears again in a way that it breaks the mood. The mix quality is kinda okay.

It is a nice concept that certainly fits the premise.

► Show Spoiler

01 (10 pts) - Rowan - Finer Than Before
02 (09 pts) - TrojakEW - Hope
03 (08 pts) - becsei_gyorgy - Monophobia
04 (07 pts) - CELIODIE - Nightmall
05 (06 pts) - EsteveCorbera - Descans

[VCA-089]

Since all entries this month are uploaded to SoundCloud, is it possible to create a playlist and share it on social media or place it on Mix Challenge home page, so people could easily discover our music?

[EsteveCorbera]

Since all entries this month are uploaded to SoundCloud, is it possible to create a playlist and share it on social media or place it on Mix Challenge home page, so people could easily discover our music?

Oh, great idea !! For me you can do it !!!

[EsteveCorbera]

Interestingly this time most of us have opted for vocal themes. Some with more fortune than others. For example, I think I didn’t know too much about it.
I want to thank you for your comments. They always help me grow.
I want to apologize for my test contributions, I am learning more about each challenge that happens.
I love TrojakEW’s numeric contributions. Super complete !!
But I also agree that maybe we need to focus more on the composition part.
I also use Google to translate. Sorry for any errors.

becsei_gyorgy_Monophobia
The rhythm you make that looks like a finger snap (I don’t know how to say it in English exactly) and that lasts the whole track, confuses me. I find it poorly integrated into the theme, perhaps too prominent and at some point out of rhythm. But I like the rest. The calm intro, the incoming guitar and the piano marking a melody. The voices are very accomplished, they give a hypnotic touch to the very appropriate theme.
From my humble opinion, as I told you before, there is a part of the rhythm that I don’t find natural.

Rowan_FinerThanBefore
Good sound environment. I don't like the voices very much, I find them cold and like you're singing reluctantly, but I guess that's the atmosphere you wanted to give them. Don’t misinterpret my words, I don’t want to criticize your work of recording them live, which I find great and I should try to do someday. The synthesizer / bass sleep may be too present. This is a risky sound. I find the rhythm and the sound environment good for the theme of the month. But as other colleagues have pointed out, perhaps a little more development and variation is needed.

TrojakEW_Hope
Thanks for your review. I appreciate it a lot. Can I ask you for help? This is the second time you comment that I have problems with resonances. You can recommend me an article, video or tutorial that explains how to detect and correct them. I will thank you very much.
I am not yet able to make a critique as detailed on a technical level as yours. But it gives you my modest opinion.
The Gregorian tone is very reminiscent of Enigma themes, as someone has already said. Maybe the structure of the song is a little simple, but I like it. There are some sounds that end up being a bit repetitive, but the atmosphere with the synthesizers is very good.
I find the song too short, I would enjoy it a little longer.

VCA-089 _-_ Psychedelic_Sea
Good intro. I might find the drum beat too rock-style. But the distant atmosphere of all the sounds makes your proposal appropriate to the theme of the month. I like the structure of the theme, the changes, the breaks, the rehearsals. It may not be a conventional structure, but I liked it. Overall I find a very good topic.

Celiodie-Nightmall
It's the topic I've had the hardest time connecting to. I don't like these distorted, delayed voices. Very forced. At times, the pace confuses me. I find it unattractive. On the other hand, the sounds you are drawing below, although they do not have a clear melody, I find much more interesting. The tranquility they bring is great, but they don’t tie me to the pace. Maybe you’ve filtered out the rhythm part too much and have too little with the band? Or maybe it’s too far away?

► Show Spoiler

01 (10 pts) VCA-089_-_Psychedelic_Sea
02 (9 pts) TrojakEW_Hope
03 (8 pts) becsei_gyorgy_Monophobia
04 (7 pts) Rowan_FinerThanBefore
05 (6 pts) Celiodie-Nightmall