SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC064 December 2022 - Winners announced

[Mister Fox]

Since nobody gave feedback yet, let me get on to that.

I like the simplistic arrangement, with a focus on vocals. But as with your previous entries, the focus is the cluster of vocals in places. In some sections, they are overpowering each other, in others they stick out like a sore thumb and clash. I'm pretty sure you are aware of that, since this is a WIP.

For example:
The chorus parts from 0:53 to 1:21, and again from 2:14 to 2:44... I'd clean up the layers volume wise. There are some ranges that stick out too much -- like the low octave voice (on small speakers even, on low volume - so the Fletcher-Munson effect adds to that), while for other section like the main lyrics are nigh perfect (I do consider the doubled voices a bit loud, but this is personal taste).

It is better on headphones, but even here the low voice in the chorus is sticking out. But then I hear humming in the second half of the lyrics (second lyric) that I'd love to have a bit more noticeable.

The instrumentation is also always a matter of preference. But maybe it's a touch too distorted, since it does clash with the sometimes quite mid-heavy vocals.



Amazing start... I'm curious about the final version.

[Mister Fox]

A friendly reminder:
Including today, 7 days left to submit your production.

So far, we have 3 entries -- with some minor interaction.



If you want to access the extended game mechanics of the Songwriting Competition (asking for feedback during production), please try to release your first edits within the next 3 days to have enough time to get possible feedback (if needed/wanted) and continue to work on your song.

And to those sitting on the fence - please don't feel scared off and think "the bar is set too high, I will never make it" - set yourself a shorter private deadline. Just make music, submit your entry, join the conversation. See where this goes.

By joining, you're already a winner. The rest is bonus.

[KukoBass]

[Updated 23.12.2022]

Here is my entry for this month's competition:



The wav-version is here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/12qEAHN ... share_link

Please excuse my singing. I am the only one in my band that doesn't sing, not even background vocals. This is my first try to sing, and I had terrible issues with timing, tuning, pronunciation and keeping a constant distance from the microphone.


My experience with this game this month:
It was easy to get inspired by the picture. The idea of the chords and melody were there early, but I had to get over my unease to sing because I felt this song would not work without some kind of vocals. I did not want to introduce another instrument to play the melody of the verse, and I felt that playing it with the e-piano would have been too much of the same. The result is more a mock up than a finished vocal take.

Lyrics:

► Show Spoiler

Look out of the window
it's freezing outside.
A raw wind is blowing
there's no place to hide
from the cold, and the snow
keeps whirling around.
I'd rather stay inside.

Outside my window
the day passes by.
Inside I'm lonely
asking myself why
I can't simply go out and meet
some of my friends;
instead, I will stay inside.

Instruments:

Drums: Two instances of IK Multimedia Modo Drum (one for the toms, one for the rest of the drums), "Bubinga" set with "Grungy" snare.
IK Multimedia TR5 Bus Compressor with "Drums Bus" preset

Bass: Ibanez SR505, recorded through my Zoom H4nPro interface.
Ableton Live EQ Eight with a low pass filter to avoid clashing with the cello part

Keys: One instance of Ableton's Analog, modified "EPiano Muted Pure"-preset (chords, panned a little to the left), one instance of AAS Lounge Lizard EP4, "Basic 1"-preset (chords and melody, panned a little to the right).
On the Ableton Analog I used the midi-effect "Velocity: Add some random" to make the chords a little less static

Strings: Two instances of Native Instruments Session Strings Pro2 ("Ensemble" and "Cello")
I doubled the "Ensemble" part and added a FrozenPlain Phoenix Mirage "Old School Strings" to the chords to make them more mellow.

Pads:
I added FrozenPlain Phoenix Mirage "Cathedral Choir" to the B-Parts after the verses and the second B-Part at the end.

Vocals: recorded with the mics of my Zoom H4nPro interface, De-Essing with Hornet Plugins SybillaPro, run through SoundeviceDigital Trap Tune (pitch correction, stereo voice, distortion, reverb and delay)

Plugins:
Hornet Plugins ThirtyOne MK2 EQ
Softube Saturation Knob
Hornet Plugins Tape (for a more analog feeling)
Mastering the Mix Levels (to check for problems)
Audified Mix Checker (to emulate other listening devices, but I still don't know how to correct my mix accordingly)
brainworx bx_masterdesk true peak (to adjust the loudness and make the fequencies below 126 hz mono)
Youlean Loudness Meter 2

[Arelem]

Hello All,

I don't have much to say about this entry. The image just gave me a chill vibe, so that's where I started out.



Details:

► Show Spoiler

DAW is FL Studio

The piano is NI's The Grandeur. There is some automation for the volume, reverb, delay, and a cutoff filter
Bass is NI's Soul Sessions
Lead was sound designed with Vital and at some points is layered with Sytrus
The Arp is Nexus
The choir is a mix of a stock Kontakt choir and Nexus

Effects used are mostly just some stock EQs, reverbs, and delays. I also used Valhalla Supermassive, Trackspacer, Smooth Operator, dearVR MICRO, and Infiltrator.

[Olli H]

SONGWRITING THEME: "Out the window" (Picture Theme)
GENRE: free to select

Olli H: Täällä on koleaa (It's Chilly in Here)



Image: It's clearly chilly in there. It looks like a window of a vacation cottage. Everything is stagnant and has been the same for a long time. There are scars in the window. The atmosphere is not so inviting. As if something is happening under the still surface.

This song started to evolve from the idea of a failed vacation. Soon it became a series of unsuccessful holidays and how it affects a relationship. It finally ended up to be a song about a dominant wife and subdued man. The wife makes every decision of their vacations, but still later complains about everything. Little by little the man tries to find his place in their relationship. The story is told from the point of view of this repressed man. Both the man and the woman are a bit irritating. So, in this song there are no clear heroes no villains.

As the man is some what relaxed in accepting the way the things are, in verses I decided to go with reggae: he is calm and trying to deal with his situation. In communicational verses there's more irritation and tension. There I decided to add some rock elements to the groove and added some dissonance with a slide guitar.

Words are written by my wife, and the rest is done by me.

DAW: Reaper
Drums: SSD
Bass: MODO
Guitars: plenty of them, all real
Tambourine: real
Shaker: real
Organ: NI B3
Saw synth: Voltage Modular
Vocals (man,woman, bg): me and my Melodyne

[Olli H]

Hello All,

I don't have much to say about this entry. The image just gave me a chill vibe, so that's where I started out.

You start this song wih very promising with a nice melodic theme. But very soon theme begins to feel too short and starts to repeat itself too much. Maybe the melodic loop resolves too quickly back to the root. Is it only eight bar melodic loop?

Later you introduce nice variations but somehow they don’t take us to a new level, maybe because of that repeating back ground loop. The song sort of disappears there. Maybe it's the chord progression thats too short.

As the main theme is very nice and moody, I might try this kind of solution.
1: first eight bars with the main melody but ending with tension
2: same eight bars but now resolving to root
3: here some new chord(s) with the same or different mood and ending with tension
4: again the same eight bars but now resolving to root.

[Olli H]

Here is my WIP for this month's competition:

You have some magic here. I love it!

The starting feels musically a bit insecure, but after that song finds itself and rapidly turns me into a listener. Your fragile and honest voice and tone serve this song perfectly. I end up listening to you, not so much the music.

You have shown in your previous submissions, that you have ear to make simple but fascinating grooves. This time also. I like those subtle changes and nuances that give variations without escaping from the songs mood.

What comes to those pads, you might try some passing notes here and there.

Maybe in the last metres the song starts to fade away, but I'm sure you can easily solve that problem, if you have time fore it.

Those grooves — and now also your singing — bring into my mind J.J. Cale’s first album ”Naturally”, especially the slow tunes in there. I'm surprised if you haven’t listened to it. Furthermore, J.J. Cale is not a singer and has quite narrow register and no dynamic at all in his voice, but still he has managed to do extremely convincing vocal performances in hundreds of songs, and many huge hits. He’s one of my all-time favorites, especially his first recordings. That said, I sincerely hope that you continue your musical trip by challenging yourself more to use your own voice.

[Olli H]

hi everyone! excited to finally be able carve out enough time to do my first SWC.

What a voice and what a songwriting skill. I think you should be now with your high-up producer making arrangements to your next hit, but instead you’re here reading comments to your music from a mediocre music hobbyist like me.

Then to comments.

Nice intro, I like sparse instrumentation. (Bass sound feels a bit hollow). I also dig that simple rhythm.

Then the verse starts, and those verses are just perfect. I like how you introduce new rhythmics to the melody on the second half of the verse. Very skillfully done.

But then comes the chorus. Well, it's good, but still, to me it doesn’t provide the super hook, which the verse demands and expects there to be. Maybe it’s not the melody that's the problem, maybe it’s the arrangement, as it continues with that same riff that’s almost all the time behind this song. Now your song is a bit imprisoned by that intro riff. I might break that already heard rhythm for example either with long tremolo chords on one, or some rapid eight note rhythms behind your long notes that you’re singing.

So my main point is, after those verses the beginnings of the choruses are not strong enough yet.

Very nice saxophone solo.

There’s also a C-part. Again, I might try to introduce new rhythmic elements in there, or take the drums away completely, or leave just hi-hats.

As I feel you’re super talented musically, but the arrangement doesn’t yet serve your music optimally, how about offering this song to arrangement competition. You might get twenty totally different versions, with different instrumentation from ultra modern to dead old 60's retro version (That's probably my version).

[colorado weeks]

Then to comments.

hey, thanks for all the detailed feedback, you and @Mister Fox caught some things i couldn't quite put my finger on! as an aside, i'm incredibly lucky to have found a group of talented songwriters to learn from. (y'all are great!) i'm currently at my parents' place for the holidays with my itty bitty baby bass, so i'll try to see what adjustments i can make before the deadline tomorrow.

as much as i'd love to be a full-time singer-songwriter, i love my less cool day job way too much to leave it

[EKVelika]

Hello guys here is my entry:



I feel this days chill and relaxed so I came up with one lo fi beat.

here is also google drive link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PM-4wy ... sp=sharing