SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC086 October 2024 - Voting until 01-NOV-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

[ryanc]

7. Ryanc : I like the way the drums and vocals remind me of 90s music, there's an "Extreme - More Than Words" feel to your song / the way you sing. I really like the progression of the song, the chorus has a hit song quality to it and it leads perfectly to the climax at the end. The lyrics are perfectly in tune with the theme and there's a great double meaning in the lines :
"And they say you reap what you sow
But no one ever warned me it would take so long to grow"

Very well written, sung, performed and composed, great job!

Improvements - Suggestions :

- At 1:53 that last chorus screams for a vocal harmony haha, it's not mandatory obviously, but it does call for that kind of thing
- Some strummed left & right acoustic guitars in the choruses could add more contrast to your track (or something similar. It feels to me like the elements of your mix are very often centered (the guitars) when they could be panned left and right to give more depth to the arrangement.
- This song, again, feels like a hit song to me. It reminds me of some great producers showing the cassette recording of a yet-to-be-superfamous track in their studio to tell the story of how the song became a supermega hit. What I'm saying is, that this is defnitely one to improve and take further, it sounds great!

Thank you so much for this detailed feedback and very kind words of encouragement. You're totally right about vocal harmonies in the second chorus - I'll get working on it!

[ryanc]

ryanc Law of the harvest
I like this song. A clear and catchy vocal melody with instrumentation that builds the energy and interest as the song progresses. The song has a very listenable radio structure. I love the energy build at the middle 8 at 2.29s then the big drop after this. Somehow the song seemed too short in duration. I feel that some effort went into this...to write a song from scratch and play most of the instrumentation can be a lot more effort than knocking out midi notes on a keyboard. Certainly, it's more difficult to get a balanced mix when working with raw recordings vs making electronic music.
Likes: Songwriting, arrangement, structure, melody, lyrics.
Dislikes: the stop at 0.34s lost momentum. The snare choice seemed wrong and was distracting for me. The clicking of your hand against the body of the guitar was a bit out of time with the drums, giving quite a jarring feeling to the rhythm.

Thank you for your compliments and for this feedback. Very helpful input.

[ThomC]

I'm happy to answer all the questions. My guitar is made by a small one man company called HMS guitars (HMS = hand made stuff, hms-guitars.fi). Each guitar is different, but the main body is the same. My guitar happens to have tremolo bar and two mics: "Seymour Duncan Hot Tele Bridge STL-2 Guitar Pickup (single coil) and "Seymour Duncan Jazz Neck Black SH-2N Guitar Pickup (Humbucker"). These microphones, of course, are essential for the sound. With one switch I can get 5 different combinations. Just perfect for my preferences (50's and 60's rockabilly and country sounds) and good enough for other purposes.

I have also other guitars but they are normally too far (3 m behind my back) to use them, so I'm happy to use this one which I can reach without getting up. As I'm just testing ideas, I want to work quickly.

Open chords 0.40-
GUITAR directly in => EQ (bx_digital) => AMP (bx_rockrack with Clean Jazz amp) => REVERB (Tsar-1R) => Tremolo => DONE
It was late night when I played in those chords, so not to wake anyone, I played them very softly just with my thumb. Had it been a daytime I would have automatically used plectrum, and I would never had reach that same melancholy that's now in those chords.

First electric solo 0.50-
GUITAR directly in => CRUNCH (Devil-loc) => EQ (Nova GE) => AMP (bx_rockrack with Clean English 530 amp) => Vocal enhancer => REVERB (Tsar-1R) => DONE

Within those chains essential are only bx_rockrack and Devil-Loc

Thanks for the nice comments! I wasn't expecting any votes, as this month I chose to trod somewhat weirdo way.

Thank you for all the info, I really like your clean tones and I often forget to use Plugin Alliance's amp sims, their chandler amp sim sounds great too. I like that you used the Vocal Enhancer on the saturated guitars, it's great at pushing some of those higher frequencies with a different colour than what can be achieved with EQ.

I didn't know the HMS guitars, but it sounds like they fit perfectly with your playing style. Do you think that a custom made guitar is a big advantage over commercially made guitars?

Thanks again for all the info, great thought process and sounds!

[ryanc]

I really enjoyed participating in this month's competition. I used to be pretty active in this community a few years back but, of course, life gets busy and I stopped participating - apparently long enough for my account to be deactivated and I had to re-register.
I've continued writing songs over the years, though, and quite serendipitously something happened to remind me of this community earlier this month so I thought I'd come back and see if this site is still up and running. I was delighted to see that it still is and took a look at this forum to see if October's theme spoke to me and if I had time to make anything.
Despite my late start, after reviewing the theme of Harvest, inspiration began to flow pretty freely and I had the song completely written within two days, which is very fast for me - I usually have to let song ideas marinate for quite a while. So that's been a very fulfilling experience for me. I'm really happy with the song, too. There are a few things I intend to change with it - much of which has been brought to my attention by the generous and constructive feedback I've received from you, my fellow competitors, for which I am grateful.
And that's the other big takeaway from my return to the forum: I'm very appreciative of the opportunity to rub virtual shoulders with others who are passionate about songwriting and music who have strengths, talents, and perspectives different from my own. From you I have already learned much and have become better aware of the areas in which I can improve, and received specific but encouraging suggestions on where to start. Thank you, my new friends, and thank you to Mister Fox for creating and facilitating this environment!

Great work, everybody, on your song entries! Here is my specific feedback:

► Show Spoiler

El Cubano - Cycle of the Seasons
I enjoy the open chord acoustic guitar playing. Certainly feels like wandering through a corn field. The sudden change to alternating with flamenco-style playing in the middle there was an interesting and refreshing changeup to the pattern. The dissonant chords and the assending melody at the end, together with the mystic pad in the background created a great sense of tension and suspense. I could easily see this song being in a soundtrack to a movie, perhaps taking place on a rancho in Spain. Nice work!

Pony Sho - Growing Pains
Cool Guitar chords at the beginning. I appreciate the ABABCB structure. It makes it predictable enough for the listener to feel safe in the song, but leaves room for enough variety to remain interesting. The chord progression and melody are fun and the choices of instruments worked together well. The song is well written, but how it ties in with the theme is not altogether obvious to me.

Chase24 - Harvest Sunset
This is a neat song. The structure is there, with a good variety in the chord progressions to keep things interesting. It has a good, solid build-up followed by a satisfying simmering down at the end. It's obvious that you have experience in songwriting and arranging. It being in a major key and the choices of instruments used definitely help this song fit nicely into the theme. I feel like all that's missing is a vocal melody. Nice work!

Crispy - Flexing the Harvest
Very groovy. A classic 70's disco-style song, reminds me of "Let's Groove." The instrument choices are fantastic - I love the sound of the drums as well as the distorted synth. There is an obvious verse-chorus structure which shows a good understanding of formulating a catchy song. I really like the main motiff that appears at different moments both in the melody as well as in the bass line, with a few variations. However, I feel like it probably repeats a little too often. I think inserting some kind of "C" section about 2/3s of the way through, in which the chord progression and melody experiences some variation, could really add something and make returning to that motiff feel renewed and exciting again. I actually love how you tied this into the theme - picturing a successful farmer in the 70s grooving into town to show off his harvest cracks me up.

EsteveCorbera - Els Fruit De La Tardor
A great, soothing soundtrack. It's hard to give feedback, given that it has little structure, which fits a soundtrack-type song. I feel that the choice of instruments is good, except I feel like the square(?) synth may be a little out of character with the rest of the song, though - I found it a bit distracting in context with the rest of the song. I feel that the song could tie in with the theme, although the feeling I got from the song had more to do with the ocean than with a harvest, but I recognize that that is subjective.

OlliH - My life from seed to vegetable
This non-conventional song structure is interesting and I think it works, though I think the song could benefit from just a little bit more structure - perhaps just one catchy melodic motiff to repeat a few times throughout the song to tie all the parts in together. the transition at 2:00 was unexpected and I really enjoyed the change of pace - I'd like to hear some lyrics with the vocal melody there and maybe have that full-band section drawn out a little longer. The complex chord progression you put into this song shows a more advanced understanding of musical theory. well done!

Ike H-mope - Harvest Morning
Follows a solid conventional structure with a catchy and recognizable main motiff ("Havest Morning") found in a strong A section followed by a B section with an alternative chord progression, then returns to the main motiff. You've executed this structure well, which shows a good understanding of songwriting and structure. I agree with your own assessment that the song could be longer, inserting another AB sequence and then have it end the same as it currently does. This song obviously fits the theme, as indicated by the lyrics and feel. It made me think of the musical, "The Fiddler on the Roof." The constructive criticism I could give may not be extremely relevant. If your objective was to create, as you yourself describe it "forgettable music" then any advice for improvement would be counterproductive. Musically, as far as I can tell, this song features only 3 chords. The melody, especially in the B section, is actually more diverse and interesting than a typical 3-chord song so if you wanted to make it more forgettable, I would simplify that melody further. Lyrically, it's actually not too bad. Robert Frost said "metaphor is the whole of poetry" and I feel the same sentiment generally applies to lyrics. You've got some similes in the lyrics itself and, as implied by your explanation, the "harvest morning" symbolizes this prodigal son's return home and a sense of renewal and recompense. If you wanted to make these lyrics more bland and forgettable, I would retreat from metaphorical images and write something more "on the nose" such as "I'm heading home again, this road is long and winding."

Mellow Browne - Neo Funk
A solid instrumental funk song. I love those minor 7th chords and the drum groove. I don't know what kind of feedback to give other than I struggle to see how it ties in with the theme. A few vocal lines with relevant lyrics I think could do the job. Otherwise, a really cool track!

KukoBass - Hope Will Grow
This is a great start. I always love songs in minor keys and I can see the beginnings of a good song here. There is a solid structure here with clear verse and chorus sections. If you get around to adding lyrics and replacing that temporary e-piano melody with vocals, I'd be interested to hear what you come up with. The melody is a good start - it feels a little contrived in some parts, but that's normal at first and will most likely be resolved after you've got lyrics inserted in there. Keep it up!

ThomC - Stories of the Sky
Very cool country song! I really like that simple yet catchy acoustic guitar riff. The chorus is fantastic and I really appreciate the structure of the song. That instrumental chorus following the second chorus fits in so well. There's some great lyrical work here as well - some thought provoking images there: the surface of the Earth as a page in which we write our stories; the time before us as a crop ready to harvest and enjoy, or to neglect and let it rot and go to waste. Good stuff! However, I feel that parts of the melody in the verse could be refined, particularly in the first half ("so many...found"). It feels a little disjointed, which isn't an objectively bad creative choice and, in fact I like the way it feels in the second half of the verse - it has a way of drawing your attention to the lyrics in a way a more smooth and predictable melody wouldn't accomplish. This also is reflected in the way the word "Harvest" doesn't quite sit right in the second verse, with the accent being on "-vest" when that word is naturally spoken with the accent on the first syllable. If you experimented a little more with those lines, I'm sure you'd find a little more natural rhythm and melody for them. The only other input I have is I think the introduction may be too long. The first verse doesn't begin until 0:40 which may cause some listeners to lose interest. Overall a great song!

My votes:

► Show Spoiler

1 - Elcubano - Cycle of the seasons
2 - Ike H-mope - Harvest Morning
3 - ThomC - Stories of the Sky
4 - Crispy - Flexing the Harvest
5 - Chase24 - Harvest Sunset

[OlliH]

Do you think that a custom made guitar is a big advantage over commercially made guitars?

No, I don't. Unless the guitar is tailor made for you with big money according to your own exact wishlist. And to be successful in defining exactly what you want, you have to know what you want. I.e. you have to be well-established pro guitar player. I would never buy a guitar without first trying it. And there's so many tested commercially models available, so it shouldn't be difficult process to find a suitable for one's hands. So, in normal situation I would certainly go that route.

The guitar I happen to have, was not made for me. It is probably some sort of prototype because it had cracks in the body and scratches in its surface. And that was a good thing! It gave me a permission to modify it. Instead of learning how to polish a wooden perfect beauty, I've learned how to mold it to be a tool for my purposes. I have taken it to pieces, studied every part, tried to learn how to paint a guitar, etc. I even reshaped the neck from some D-profile to modern thin C-profile. I split the front plastic sheet into two parts, so that I can access electronics easily without removing strings, and in future do some experiments.