SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC088 December 2024 - results in preparation

[Vanilla Puff]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MiERkk ... drive_link

Something simple and warm for this months challenge. I was looking to make something Synth-wavy for a long time and it appeared to be fitting to the theme.
Actually was hard to force myself and imagine good musical themes/sentences without being too film industry like and have some depth in simplicity. It was a good exercise. Wrote two, half finished pieces in the process, which are decent, but probably not for this months theme or at least, for what I had in mind.
All sounds were either synthesized or recorded, except the shaker, some toms and hats, which are processed DAW samples.

[JeroenZuiderwijk]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MiERkk ... drive_link

Something simple and warm for this months challenge. I was looking to make something Synth-wavy for a long time and it appeared to be fitting to the theme.
Actually was hard to force myself and imagine good musical themes/sentences without being too film industry like and have some depth in simplicity. It was a good exercise. Wrote two, half finished pieces in the process, which are decent, but probably not for this months theme or at least, for what I had in mind.
All sounds were either synthesized or recorded, except the shaker, some toms and hats, which are processed DAW samples.

That bass......makes this song swing.

[PonySho]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MiERkk ... drive_link

Something simple and warm for this months challenge. I was looking to make something Synth-wavy for a long time and it appeared to be fitting to the theme.
Actually was hard to force myself and imagine good musical themes/sentences without being too film industry like and have some depth in simplicity. It was a good exercise. Wrote two, half finished pieces in the process, which are decent, but probably not for this months theme or at least, for what I had in mind.
All sounds were either synthesized or recorded, except the shaker, some toms and hats, which are processed DAW samples.

I really dig the sections with the beats going. It sounds like you've used an interesting quantizing on the drums and bass that gives this push-pull vibe. The synths with their slow attack put those elements a bit behind the beat...almost gives it a live feel.

[ThomC]

Hey everyone,

Here's my entry for this competition! I imagined a person landing on another planet and being amazed by the view they see from there, totally impressed by the overwhelming beauty of space. As if they were out of space in their own mind, incapable of processing the beauty of what they're witnessing.

ThomC - Out of Space
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1RgETQc ... drive_link

Merry Christmas to you all!

► Show Spoiler

Sample Libraries Used :
- Novella by Westwood Instruments
- Cremona Quartet by Native Instruments

[Mister Fox]

It is the 25th December 2024, 06:30 UTC+1/CET - this month's Songwriting Competition has official ended


STATISTICS:

• If I didn't miscount, we have 12 submissions this month (2 entries more than last month, and also 4 entries less than December 2023)
• We have 0 submissions after the deadline (as of 25-DEC-2024 00:20 UTC+1/CET)
• We have 1 submission that has been pushed to "Bonus Entries" (production released outside of the game's timeframe, see below)
• We have 0 submissions that has been withdrawn (therefore it can't count to the overall participation)
• The "staff balancing vote" add-on rule does not apply (special game mechanics do apply)
• "Sole Winners Podium" rule (equal or less than eight participants results in a single winner) does not apply (3-position Winners Podium)

How do we go from there?

Over the course of the next (hopefully) 24-48 hours (usually up to 6-12 hours maximum after the game has ended), I'll gather all links into one post and hot-link to that from the first post of the thread. Please, no more changes to your entries, but please do check your links that these entries are accessible and downloadable. We then perform with the final feedback and "public vote" system.


We have 12 official participants. We are adapting the overhauled vote mechanic, as talked about in the following news blog:

Songwriting Competition - game mechanic changes: Voting Process (October 2022 Update)
(Info: I am aware that the Rule Book has not been properly updated yet. Time constraints, apologies for the inconvenience)


Summarized:

!

Bonus Info

Participants can (and must) vote for their Top 5 entries (tiered mechanic). You're furthermore asked to please reflect on your experience this month (2-3 paragraphs max), what you have learned, what you would like to do different in the future, etc. (personal growth) You are also asked to give feedback to at least five (number: 5) entries (tiered mechanic) -- things that stood out to you, providing some final thoughts and constructive feedback for possible improvements. This adds to the learning experience of our community. It is recommended that these entries are outside of your personal "top entry" voting. Have the chance to get additional bonus points if you decide to invest the time to provide more constructive feedback than the requested minimum. It must be more than just "nice production, please keep up the good work" however. This is to boost more interaction and can balance out your overall points on the score sheet. (get 1 point if you give constructive feedback to 2-3 more participant, get 2 points if you give helpful feedback for everyone) The "Voting Process" mechanic is mandatory for all participants, and the only criteria to drop out of the game by not partaking. Please don't just collect feedback, and not give back to the community. The overall "Bonus Point" mechanic still applies. Please update your posts with proper production documentation, most notably regarding whom you have collaborated with (as in: proper credits -- not doing so will result in a 2pt deduction on the score sheet at the end of the game). Please also make your entries downloadable, or provide an additional download link if not existing already. You got until the voting period has ended. (please: no changes to the arrangement anymore) Please cast your vote (not the feedback) in collective form through the "spoiler text" bbcode (button on the WYSIWYG editor that features the orange triangle with an exclamation mark in it). Please use the forum username of the participant to make it easier during the score collection to address what vote belongs to whom. And please, have one post as final feedback and vote. Thank you.

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⚠	Moderation Message from Mister Fox
	For transparency: The staff (Mister Fox) will not give feedback to all entries and/or cast a vote this month. (unless there is a tie that can not be broken otherwise) I also decided to not disqualify @DavidB's entry. However, there was no additional update turning this into a proper "entry finished / released during the time-frame of the Songwriting Competition in question", it is technically out of the game. Since it's the end of the year, and our community is all about learning, this particular entry is now listed as "Bonus Entry". It can be commented on (Bonus Feedback), but sadly can't be voted for.

Feedback from non-participants and/or collaborators is highly encouraged (voting not needed!). The same goes for entries after the deadline, or those that sadly do not count for the current running game (even if you've exceeded the deadline, why not post your entry regardless?). Musicians and Engineers are always after constructive criticism. This is what this forum is about.





Have some general feedback? Please provide that here:
Songwriting Competition - General Gossip Thread, or on Discord.



Please give me a moment to collect all entries.
Please make sure your files are accessible, and please have an eye on this thread!




EDIT: 25-DEC-2024 06:35 - initial post

[PonySho]

Thanks, Mr Fox.

[Mister Fox]

Let us kick off the VOTING PROCESS, which will end on Friday, 03-JAN-2025 23:59 UTC+1/CET latest
Info: due to the Winter Holiday season, the "feedback and voting period" has been extended by 2 more days.


There is a GLOBAL COUNTDOWN to check for deadlines.
Just follow this link: Global Countdown (on homepage)


Here is the collection of productions from all participants (in hope that I didn't forget anyone). As usual, if you click on the small upwards-arrow right beside the quoted name, you can jump to the original post and read up on the documentation for this production.


.

"Night Peace"

"A Journey"

WAV: Dropbox playback and download

"Stars"

WAV: Dropbox playback and download

"The Comet"

"L'Exploracio Del Cosmos"

"Space"

WAV: Google Drive playback and download
MP3: Google Drive playback and download

"Timeless Space"

"Overworld"

WAV: Google Drive playback and download
MP3: Google Drive playback and download

"As The Air Runs Out"

phpBB [media]

(plays the WAV version!)

WAV: Catbox playback and download
ZIP: Catbox ZIP download

ADMIN INFO: Due to the way "Catbox" works, the uploaded file is being renamed and the original name is not being retained. To retain the filename, the initial entry was uploaded in a ZIP container.

"Purple World"

MP3: Google Drive playback and download

"Out of Space"

WAV: Google Drive playback and download

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WITHDRAWN (not participating - feel free to give feedback, but you sadly can not vote for these entries)

"Space"

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BONUS ENTRIES (submitted after the deadline / outside of game scope - feel free to give feedback, but you sadly can not vote for these entries)

"Junkett - The Probe"

Soundcloud: Junkett / Probe (private Soundcloud link)

ADMIN INFO: This entry was uploaded 2 months prior to this game. I kindly offered to continue working on the material, then provide a newer version. This sadly didn't happen. I didn't want this entry to be forgotten - that's why it's listed under "Bonus Entries".

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GAME MECHANIC SUMMARY:

► Show Spoiler

Please consult this news blog post regarding an overhaul to the voting mechanic. To make it simple for me for counting the votes - please use the forum usernames in your listing, not the song titles. Thank you!

Please also consult the previous post that features a summary for this month's mechanic (see "Bonus Info" in the red colored box).
.


This month's SWC participants giving feedback to each other is mandatory, it is the only criteria to drop out of the game by not partaking. Please also do not just collect feedback, and give nothing in return. The concept of the Songwriting Competition is interaction and "learning by doing". If you have collaborated with somebody, then only the one doing the main entry needs to give feedback and vote. Bonus feedback is always welcome. However, please be open minded, objective and constructive.


INFORMATION: If you have submitted your entry in multiple file formats, the statistic sheet (posted alongside the results) will focus on the uncompressed material first (WAV), then FLAC, then MP3. The higher the quality (e.g. lossless format), the less possible loss on bonus points for "Loudness Specs" due to offsets introduced by a used CODEC.

Good luck to all participants!




If you have an idea for a future Songwriting Competition, please post about this in the theme/genre request page or on Discord.


Post updated: 25-DEC-2024 08:25 UTC+1/CET -- initial post
Post updated: 26-DEC-2024 20:00 UTC+1/CET -- Entry by PonySho has been moved to "Withdrawn"

[Koekepan]

Judgement Day is upon us!

► Show Spoiler

Dasein - Night Peace

Sound Design - Reasonable, but not very live-feeling. Some of the elements feel rather static, like the piano tones. Overall, not bad.
Harmony - Not bad. It flows logically without being particularly dramatic.
Melody - A trifle scattered, but I like the interplay between the instruments.
Composition - This is the strongest point. As a piece, it all hangs together well. Whether it is well-crafted to the intent I find hard to say, but it is structurally competent.
Theme - I'm not quite sure that the composition really conveys peace as such. The drifts between levels of intensity and the pace of the work doesn't feel like breathing, so much as a series of tense periods with interludes.

3/5

Jeroen Zuiderwijk - A Journey

Sound design - Solid work, although I think that the balance between the instruments is off. Did you try listening to it with varying speaker/headphone choices? The guitar lead seems a bit buried.
Harmony - Very normal for the genre. Repetitive.
Melody - Solid work, no complaints here.
Composition - It feels very static. It wanted a breakdown, some swing, maybe more off-grid elements. I know that sunvox is a tracker, but you can still do things with that, including unquantised recording.
Theme - OK, I'll buy that this is the soundtrack to a space journey montage. This works.

3.5/5

Ike H-mope - Stars

Sound Design - The vocals are good, but the strings are somehow a bit grating. It's tough to put my finger on it, but it lacks the sort of sensitivity that makes strings come alive. Bowed instruments should be very expressive.
Harmony - Good work. Even the dissonances feel intentional.
Melody - Again, good work. It's clear, it's logical, it's good voice leading.
Composition - It lacks dynamic range. Don't get me wrong - it's a coherent work and does lead the listener well, but it tends to lack the tension-and-release, or the rise-and-fall that makes for good composition.
Theme - On target. It's a good delivery, except that I'd have wanted a more sensitive production for the topic as interpreted.

3.5/5

Elcubano - The Comet

Sound Design - OK, now you're talking. Good sounds, well-mixed, no complaints.
Harmony - Great stuff, in the sort of electric pop world.
Melody - Good voice leading,
Composition - Great stuff. It rises, it falls. It hangs together, it tells a story. Different sounds take their moments to enter and leave.
Theme - I'm iffy about the theme, but I'll give you a little grace here.

4.5/5

Esteve Corbera - L'Exploracio del Cosmos

Sound Design - Certainly some decent work here. It feels very movie score ready, with a variety of orchestral and electronic sounds blending. Rather Hans Zimmer.
Harmony - At first it felt repetitive, until things changed in the second minute. Then it started to come into its own, and I gained new respect for the idea.
Melody - Like the harmony, it starts basic and then develops beautifully. Lovely stuff.
Composition - You clearly put some thought into this, and did it beautifully. It all sounds like the same track, and develops as such.
Theme - I have no complaints. Exploring the cosmos? Tangerine Dream and Vangelis would, I think, have approved.

5/5

Paramnesia - Space

Sound Design - I do like that guitar. And then how you brought it in, enriching it at the same time that you brought in the other layers. Nice! The bigger metal soundscape is also well-delivered.
Harmony - Excellent, in the rock/metal way.
Melody - Good melodic choices, well-varied and delivered.
Composition - A tiny quibble is that I would have had some kind of sonic hint to the opening of the verses - perhaps a rising hihat shuffle or a ride cymbal. Other than that, rock solid.
Theme - Very happy with your approach to it. It feels like an anime theme song, complete with graphic hints at damaged relationships, space combat with gigantic robots and gratuitous explosions. Well done!

5/5

Becsei_Gyorgy - Timeless Space

Sound Design - Rather '80s, but that's not a bad thing. The vocals work, but I would have had a more intense delivery to match these lyrics. Less Sting, more Bono.
Harmony - Not a moment's complaint.
Melody - Very true to its concept.
Composition - 50% soft rock, 50% synthwave, all tasty.
Theme - It leans a bit on the lyrics, rather than necessarily driving the concept in the composition. Still, good work.

4/5

PonySho - Space

Sound Design - OK, I like it. I wasn't sure at first, but a moment's listening convinced me. This is very good guitar, and a very coherent development. The range in the vocals is great, too.
Harmony - 100%. You use it for tension and to support the melody.
Melody - Very nice basic melody and development.
Composition - Conventional, but well-executed.
Theme - Here it falls down for me. It feels a bit generic. The translation from prompt to lyrics is stretched.

4/5

BenjiRage - Overworld

Sound Design - Great work. It feels as if it came from all a very well-curated sound library - which might not be exciting, but is a mark of competence.
Harmony - Nothing wrong here, within the genre that you chose.
Melody - Same as the harmony - if there's a complaint, it's that it's a bit generic.
Composition - I think that something is missing here. It feels as if there should have been a greater development that was truncated. It wanted more.
Theme - Coherent. Consistent. Alas, also trite. Like the melody, it could have come off the shelf inside a big production house.

4/5

Vanilla Puff - Purple World

Sound Design - Good, well-balanced, different instruments that fit in different spaces alongside each other.
Harmony - Not terribly varied, but good in that basic dancefloor funky way.
Melody - A bit repetitive, but nothing actively wrong.
Composition - The composition hangs to a great extent on arrangement and variation in sound design. The knobs and faders are doing a lot of work, but in this genre that's fine. The ending is a bit abrupt.
Theme - A little bit of a miss for me, but not terrible. It has that psychedelic funk hint.

3.5/5

ThomC - Out of Space

Sound Design - A bit reminiscent of Interstellar, to my ears. But at least the strings are sensitively played, which is nice.
Harmony - I like it. You use dissonance and tension in harmony as a good salt to the auditory meal.
Melody - This develops well, playing within the space that the harmonic progression creates.
Composition - Coherent. It also breathes, creating an entry as well as an exit, a peak and some valleys.
Theme - On target. Honestly, good work.

5/5

Podium of Glory

► Show Spoiler

1 - ThomC
2 - EsteveCorbera
3 - Paramnesia
4 - Elcubano
5 - becsei_gyorgy

Commentary

► Show Spoiler

My use of the Force in this competition stretched it pretty hard. It didn't really die or fall over on me, but I was clearly pushing it. This was partly a consequence of the fact that I was pushed for time. My insight is that next time I will make more of an effort to use outboard hardware so that the Force can be the master sequencer. There are just more options outside its world that will both allow for greater sonic variety as well as giving it more leeway - and then I will use an external recorder.

I do however stand by my use of unquantised recording because it lends so much more life to what is intended to sound tentative and expressive and mournful. This was a success in my book, and this experience confirmed it.

[Vanilla Puff]

Merry Christmas! Hope everyone is having a great time and Santa was generous!

Feedback:

► Show Spoiler

I realize that this is a monologue and not a conversation so feedback can appear a bit crude or harsh to some. And because I like to go straight to the point without sugar coating it. There are no hard feelings and these are merely my opinions and ideas that I had while listening to these tracks. You are the best, for looking for areas to improve.

Dasein - Night Piece
Great beginning of the piece. It really calls for a complete crescendo, maybe some tremolo with violins. I would definitely add some brass and cello in that part. Feel like it has potential to be a strong/moving opening. As I was listening and imagining the vastness at 0:20 felt jolted out, as there was no cadence and piano started playing. I would imagine that a simple yet elegant transition here is needed.
Piano becomes monotone after few note repetitions, I would suggest finding a delicate solution if you feel that the same note needs to be repeated; 0:50-0:53 cadence is very nice, although I would make a modulation, as it calls for a change afterwards. I would suggest analyzing early Mozart's sonatas, since they are easy to analyze and figure out the patterns. In my opinion they have very organic movements and would fit here nicely and benefit you greatly in your journey.
Main movements consist of the same material with different arrangement. It appeared to be an interesting choice, since you have more material that could replace one of them or be at least a separate one. For example at 2:57-3:03.
There was no percussion, I don't know if it was a conscious decision, maybe the piece could benefit some.
I think you have a really nice foundation for a piece that could be really good, utilizing clever and simple composition techniques. But they have to fit nicely, which could be the hard part.

JeroenZuiderwijk - A Journey
Don't even know where to begin. As I listened to the track, I was thinking "ah, this sounds like me when I started". Then read the description and it all made sense. Props for making it with Sunvox . I'm sure I couldn't make anything half decent with it.
The thing that stood out most was the hats, as they were playing almost constantly. I see this DAW as a great opportunity to restrict oneself and get creative within that space, play around in it. I think there are regions where it could be played around with more.

Ike H-mope - Stars
I'm not sure if it's the season, but it sounded more like a Christmas Carol than a "Space" themed song to me. It would be pretty good Christmas Carol though.
Not a fan of a sudden stop at 1:59. If I wasn't looking at the waveform in dropbox, I would think it had finished there.
Although female vocal and Cello fit together nicely, I think that adding a male vocal as in "question and answer" method would make this piece even greater. As I was listening to this song I kept hearing it in imagination.

Elcubano - The Comet
Really nice track. Mix could be worked on to elevate the experience even more. Immediately came to mind that lead guitar or drums could use some saturation/distortion automation that would symbolize a comet slowly passing by.
1:14-2:00 felt like a lot is happening without actually anything happening. Which in one hand creates trans like state that fits the theme, in the other, calls for monotony. For me it leans more to the monotonic side. I would look for a simple solution, like removing certain notes and adding just a few where they weren't in the pattern so to create an illusion that something is happening. I think anything simple like that would work here.

EsteveCorbera - L'ExploracioDelCosmos
I really saw the vision here. Beginning of the track is great. Only thing I found is that it's too harsh for me until 0:52. I would like to hear low passed sounds slowly opening.
Until 2:15 everything is great. I was sitting with closed eyes and imagination just took off.
2:18 there is a low end thump, which I thought was needed, because it was becoming monotonic. But the material had to change with it, giving it another breath. Chord change, modulation, almost anything would work here harmonically speaking. Because after that I just couldn't go back to that space where imagination took me. Slowly building up the arrangement is very fitting for this piece and listeners attention could be maintained with some adjustments.
Like in Ike H-mope's track, I felt that it was definitely the end of the piece at 5:45. This time I had my eyes closed and couldn't see the waveform. I thought that it was a perfect place to end.

Paramnesia - Space
Great song. In first 5 seconds I thought this going to be metal or something like rock. It is strange, since only solo guitar is playing and it could be many genres, but I felt like something STRONG is going to happen. Whatever you did, you nailed that part.
Mix is very poky, has a lot of rogue transients. I find it distasteful when they appear particularly in vocals. Up until chorus at 0:54 mix is very good apart of my comment, but in chorus part everything just drowned. Fixing that would elevate it incredibly.
Final chorus seemed either too short or lacked more energy. Maybe both.

becsei_gyorgy - Timeless Space
Felt like this is more of a ballad than a song from 80's that you recreated instruments from nicely. I don't think that a ballad and that style of instruments go hand in hand, at least not in this case. Restructuring the parts and, of course, lyrics, this song could turn around for me.
Vocals are de-essed to the ground and sounds too autotuned in chorus parts.
Other than that, pretty good job. Instruments are stellar.

PonySho - Space
Oh the intro. So good. Absolutely amazing song.
But the chorus melody. I could guarantee that I've heard it before. I'm 99.9% sure of it. I would be very cautious, knowing that my song could be taken as plagiarism.
There are not too many instruments to make a "bad mix", but main vocals don't sit quite right for me, because they have distinct room sound to it and quirky thing going on with eq in higher range. Probably by removing that short delay, vocals would fit better.
Although song is really really good, I wouldn't pass it as "Space" themed.

BenjiRage - Overworld
Another good song with melody that I feel I've heard before.
Chorus is just stellar ,but verse lyrics seemed cringe.
Overall production seems like what I would expect of this style and in some regards feels above average of what I would hear.
Mix sounds good, but a bit shallow in stereo field. High frequencies don't sit quite right for me. They are neither harsh nor drowned out, but seem so at the same time. This is probably because hat goes the same way through kick and snare, making this monotonic high frequency line throughout.
Changing these things, I see it playing in a radio or being on a playlist with songs that cost way more to produce. Definitely would vibe to it.

Koekepan - As The Air Runs Out
As ambient as ambient could be. Space theme just pops out of it. There is not much to say about this one. Those 9 minutes just flew by. But I wouldn't make it longer either, I think it's just the right length.
When pluck hits high notes it is too piercing for this track I feel. I get drowned in that ambient and with every hit I come back. As a listener I would like to stay there longer, let my imagination linger.

Vanilla Puff - Purple World
I feel like I didn't live up to my standards with this one. Although the aim was to create a piece that invites listeners imagination to explore space, it seems that I've only created the invitational part. Somewhere there needs to be a change in cadence, melody or something else, as of now it sounds monotonic/ "copy pasta", lacking some adventure. And that adventure should lead nicely to the bridge, which is not really bridge right now nor are good transitions.
Entirely skipped mixing/mastering part and that is reflected. Saw synths sound clipped. And they are . Have no clue what to do with toms. I keep seeing this velvety sound, but can't dial it in. These are the only things that bug me right now, after reading feedback, I hope to expand this list.
Overall I'm pleased with esthetic aspect of the piece, could be a decent track. I realized that I don't manage my time very well and push myself to do better, but end up blocking myself in the process. Maybe more relaxed/playful attitude needs to be implemented to achieve better outcome without feeling that I need to achieve it.

ThomC - Out of Space
other than:
1:40 a bit abrupt transition, felt like a rest was not in the right spot. There are some crackle afterwards. Foot pedal can be heard only on the right side, especially low frequencies. Sounded a bit weird because of it.

Vote:

► Show Spoiler

1. Koekepan - As The Air Runs Out
2. ThomC - Out of Space
3. Elcubano - The Comet
4. BenjiRage - Overworld
5. Paramnesia - Space

[PonySho]

Hi All. Sorry, but I'm going to have to vacate myself from the remainder of this challenge due to a personal situation.
Thanks to those who took the time to give feedback on my song.
A very diverse and interesting challenge this month with some really great submissions.

@Mister Fox thanks again for your work here and my apologies for leaving the challenge at this late stage.

Good luck to everyone.