Dear fellow participants,
Since I am only writing my own personal and subjective opinion here anyway, I may as well be the first to do so.
Thanks to
@Mister Fox for this platform, which makes all this possible.
Thanks to all of you who also took part. On the one hand, I'm happy about everyone who took part, but on the other hand I'm also a bit glad that there aren't that many of you. So I was able to take more time for each individual song. And I think that really paid off in this round. For me, they are all good songs that I recognize as such, that appeal to me and that I can say something about with my humble expertise. I hope everyone realizes the appreciation I have for his work, even if I would like to comment on the things I would change from my point of view. So you have the most valuable thing I can give to you, my honesty. And because I think all the songs are good, I can also share my entire ranking, because nobody is really left out from my point of view, it's just the little different subjective views and listening habits.
Here is my feedback,
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@JeroenZuiderwijk
cool eurodancetrack with the rushed vibe of the 90s ala Culture beat, Dr. Alban, Mr. President or something. Normally, when I think of the Netherlands, I always think of chilling, smoking and leaning back. But you conveyed this tireless, driven vibe very well for me by “singing” it in your own language. What I'm missing is the hook that pulls me along! It doesn't have to be a chorus in the true sense of the word, just a recognizable melody or timbre that gives the song a trademark.
@EsteveCorbera
I've already written to you about your song because I really like the sound. That's why I listened to Tangerine Dream again and realized what I was missing: Besides a B-part or C-part you lack the time to build up the song, maybe you were too rushed? How many TD songs are under 5 minutes? Maybe it sounds too much like TD for me and not enough like EsteveCorbera?
Overall a nice piece of music for me.
@A Future in Noise
I hear a lot of good ideas in your song, which I personally classify as a musical. It's more about a story that wants to be told, the melody carries more of the lyrics and the instrumentation should reinforce the feelings, the message. And here's my problem, I don't know what you want to say? Music, lyrics and performance have so many contradictions for me that your song unfortunately doesn't reach me. Maybe you need to categorize the whole thing for me and maybe a few other listeners. From the sound of it, it seems to have a special meaning for you. And by the way, good singing. Thank you!
@Arelem
I love the relaxed vibe of your composition. A wonderful ironic approach to the subject and a successful invitation to deal with everything in a more relaxed way. Musically, the reggae vibe fits perfectly, the deep basses, the jazzy sax, the laidback feeling, great.
Production-wise, I would have a few other ideas. I think the verse voice should be more direct and closer to the listener, in the chorus I would like a smoother, dreamier voice. A hook or an instrumental part with recognition value could enhance the song. Or a single line that is repeated, like “fast life” or “I'm rushed”. There's definitely more in it for me. Your template is a great sketch that I really like.
@Rick Finsta
I hear someone who really knows how to write good songs. I don't know if this is your best one, but I like it. Maybe even because it's so short. That's punk, say what you mean and feel and be done with it! Maybe you could take the average pop song listener with you and repeat the final line once or twice so that something sticks in your brain.
Lyrically, I can't quite follow your thoughts because I don't have the military background. I can understand the rushed feelings when commuting very well, but the meaning of the military allusion is not clear to me.
I think the guitar work is cool. Thanks!
@Marc Fey
Yes, that dream would leave me breathless too. But I wouldn't want to forget this beautiful melody. I don't know what it stands for for you, but for me it's the highlight of this composition. Musically, this break between the two parts could be even stronger. You stay on the same chord, which breaks very strongly with the A section in terms of rhythm and sound, but harmonically it's almost the same.
However, the C section is then no longer accessible to me. It sounds darker, changes key and then ends inconspicuously in the beautiful melody again. To me, this part sounds rather boring and without musical meaning: is it supposed to lead back into the melody? why so long? why only chords?
I know dreams can't always be explained, but all I really want to do is dream this beautiful melody again, over and over again. Thank you for that!
@juhu
At first I was quite enthusiastic about your song idea. Those annoying stabbing chords work on me like the alarm clock at 5 in the morning, much too early, a sign of a rushed everyday life that is imminent again. Great!
And then I wanted to keep listening to the song, and yes, there were a few nice new ideas, but those chords kept annoying me and I felt driven to keep hitting the snooze button...but I persevered to the end :-)
To summarize: I really like your idea, but you need to do something with those annoying chords, can't they turn down a bit or change their sound or something like that?
@toadhjo
I really need to think about your awesome song. On the one hand it totally catches me, on the other hand the chorus doesn't start until 1:40 min and I wonder if it shouldn't start earlier and if the chorus wouldn't need a bigger climb/introduction. And for me the greatest thing is the Bowieesque final refrain, don't I want to hear something like that much earlier? Or is it so good because it only starts at this point? So: For me you've written a wonderful song, the most beautiful one in this round, it's so good that I would definitely work on it even more.
My questions would be:
Can you work out the chorus better?
Can the song structure be better represented?
Does the upbeat keyboard-sound really have to play the same thing all the time?
Can the high Bowie voice be incorporated into the song earlier or in different ways?
Shouldn't the voice be corrected a little, especially at the beginning?
Can the drums play a little louder in between?
These are all just questions as to whether or how this wonderful song can be performed better. Vielen Dank!
here are my personal thoughts
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I took part in the SWC for the first time in March and was a bit disappointed because I couldn't do much with most of the songs as they had so little song structure for me.
This time it's completely different and the songs are really cool. Not just ideas, but entire productions in just over 3 weeks, which I found impressive.
I'm sure this won't be my last SWC, but there's always time that I'm not working on other projects or sharing with my wife or whatever.
We'll see when the muse kisses us next time:-)
and my subjective ranking.
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from back to front
8. @juhu
7. @A Future in Noise
6. @Marc Fey
5. @JeroenZuiderwijk
4. @EsteveCorbera
3. @Arelem
2. @Rick Finsta
1. @toadhjo
Thank you to everybody for this challenge.
Peter
How do we go from there?
