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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
gruskada
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#51

Post by gruskada »

TrojakEW wrote:
Sun Mar 29, 2020 21:44 CEST
I think bass is too dominant and it take all the attention. It almost feels it lead the track.
That's actually what I was going for. I realize it's non-traditional, but I was thinking about one of Brian Eno's "Oblique Strategies" cards, where it states something like "Switch the lead and bass lines". I always thought that was an interesting concept, but maybe it doesn't work well for the whole song (or maybe I didn't execute it well). In any case, I'm glad I tried it.
TrojakEW

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#52

Post by TrojakEW »

Olli H wrote:
Mon Mar 30, 2020 18:21 CEST
Thanks! That’s me. :) I’m aware of the problem, but unfortunately my eagerness to create music is much too big in comparison to my singing skills.
Sometimes imperfection is perfect. It fits the track and chorus very well. It add kind of interesting mood to it.
gruskada wrote:
Mon Mar 30, 2020 19:25 CEST
That's actually what I was going for. I realize it's non-traditional, but I was thinking about one of Brian Eno's "Oblique Strategies" cards, where it states something like "Switch the lead and bass lines". I always thought that was an interesting concept, but maybe it doesn't work well for the whole song (or maybe I didn't execute it well). In any case, I'm glad I tried it.
Interesting. I would not dare even to try it since I'm sure I will fail to do this. Even in jazz music it sometimes feel that bass takes the lead but it sound more like traditional answer and question. When bass is taking lead it feels cluttered :cool: . Swing Street - something like that. While it sounds great it is also hard to listen.
Tj Shredder

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#53

Post by Tj Shredder »

TrojakEW - Alone together. I really like that piece. Chill out needs a longer piece though, and I could still dance to it instead of relaxing…

becsei_gyorgy - Madre Tierra Nice mood. Nice melody playing, the drums could use a bit more variation, maybe just with the velocities…

SimGT - BadChick. Yeah, chilly remix of those loops…

ontrackp - Chillout. Almost jazzy.

Green-Dog - Margarita Tells Gossip. Very relaxed song. It also one of the few long enough for that genre.

OlliH - Once I Knew what I was Searching for. Very relaxed song, like it for what it is…

gruskada - Relaxed Problem. Chilly impro a bit clumsy, but fun. You had a more free timing than your delay it seems…
I bet you enjoyed playing it…

Jilliam - Let me…. Those loud drums are not that chilly at all, though I did like the piece itself. But it missed the theme somehow…

Ollyaudio - Glass Birds.Outro. The variation after minute 2 could have come earlier and that long almost never changing section from the beginning could then come in again at the end. That would make a more round and clear form.

Canese - Fillow. Very relaxed uneven rhythm. I am not sure how much the unevenness of rhythm and tuning is a conscious variance with feeling. It sounds a bit more like random…

Doc Jon - Back to Bird. I would call this a reggae. I don’t see the connection to chill out (its not just the BPM) For what it its fine btw…

erictracks - walk like a king. Its rippling along, not really that chilly, but not wild either

MarkS - Late Night Very chilled indeed. The Percussion is a bit short sounding, if you played it by hand try to let it ring longer by touching the surface shorter. Or give it some reverb…

VCA-89 - Carried Away. Not much going on here, seems to be a single loop with some modulation

Leonard Bowman - Moonlight. A bit detuned. Wonder which tunings you had chosen…


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Last edited by Tj Shredder on Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:30 CEST, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#54

Post by SimaGT »

This was really competitive month for a change. There is so many good tracks this month scoring them wasn't easy .


ollyaudio - "Outro":

Mix is good , i'm listening this on my headphones and it sounds balanced and pleasing.
That vocal and pads in the background are really neat and they fit nicely. Each instrument is clearly audible, there's no mud, well done!
As for the arrangement / composition, it is a little unclear what you want to show here.
There's no intro, it just suddenly starts with a short fade in, there is no preparation of any kind.Then there's quiet part at 2:17, then back to main part again.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against unconventional approaches to song structuring but little more variations could make this track more interesting.
Also it feels sometimes some notes are off that leave strange impression of ambiguity. This track has potential, it is technically well placed, a good selection of instruments,
it just lacks a little more work in the arrangement.



J I L L I A M - "Let Me...:"

Beautifull piano intro ,nice chords there.
The main part is nice with a clear idea. I feel there's alot of space tthat can be filled between those drums,bass and piano.Maybe pad, or just delay on that piano.
Personally I wish the kick was more solid and punchy ,it is to "dirty" and weak in my opinion. The snare is to loud for this type of genre imo.
I like that violin sound there, it should be a little more pronounced imo. The vocal is to "breathy" it is taking to much space,
I know whisperings are supposed to be breathy but there's a way to tame those if they are all over the place.
Overall nice simple track and i like it.



TrojakEW - "Alone Together":

Very nice track you got here.Percussion is nice guitars to.I specially like those reverse like sounds neatly done.
Vocals are cool need to revisit that shevannai library.And i don't think people will listen this in mono systems , atleast for me mono
plays zero role in final judging.
To bad it is too short,I could listen to these beautiful atmospheres for 2-3 more minutes that is only thing i would improve here.
Must say this one is really easy to listen to. Well done!



becsei_gyorgy - "Madre Tierra":

Nice introduction i like that bells.Acoustic guitar is embedded nicely into mix.
There is to many instruments playing in the mid and in some places
they stifle the vocals specialy that brass instrument. Maybe some paning could help the vocals
to cut through.Overall mix is very nicely done the song structure to.
Awesome track!



Green-Dog - "Margarita Tells Gossip":

Now this track is just awesome there's really not much to say here. I really don't have idea what could be improved here.
Everything from track name to mix and arrangement is soo well done .
You got my vote!



gruskada - "Relaxed Problem":

Nice reversed effect at beginning, i think quantization could help here at least for bass. It is ok to perform instruments but i think some instruments here
are to much off the beat, it makes it hard to focus. Also around 1:45 i feel some notes are off i dunno what is happening in that part, but then after that
at around 2:00 it becomes more stable. From 2:00 to 2:40 is my favourite part of the track, the rest just lacks clarity.



Leonard Bowman - "Moonlight":

What a neat little intro.I wish there was more sub in that bass. Nice drum sequencing, but what about toms i can barely hear them
i think they could have been more pronounced.Vocals are nice first they are center then they are paned lower pitch left high pitch right,
nice little trick.
I specially like a part that starts at 1:18, so trippy. I think you are geting better at this odd tunes style.



Doc Jon - "Back To Bird":

I think this one is most finished track in this round. So energetic and cheerful, makes me want to jump and drink .Everything is set up properly,
atleast on my headphones. One thing i would like to improve is to make those vocals little more spacious with bigger reverb maybe.
Overall awesome reggae track with nice clean mix.



erictracks - "walklikeaking":

Very impressive start, nice slides with the bass. Awesome mix, only thing that i would like to add in the mixis to make those guitars slightly brighter
but that is just my personal preference. I really like those guitars, mix sounds balanced and easy to listen to.



ontrackp - "ChillOut":

What a beefy kick, i like it, drums generally are very nice. This rhythm is so cool with the hats and cymbals dancing around. At occasional moments snare seems to be overcompressed
but not a big deal it is not ruining my overall experience. That part that starts at 3:40 with dreamy pads and plucky synths breaks monotony nicely, if you had another
similar section like that somewhere in the middle i think this song would be more sexy.
Overall very nice track with "vintage" vibe, one of the best i've heard from you. Well done!



Olli H - "Once I Knew What I Was Searching For":

Beatifull little song. Simple, but still delivers very strong message. So you recorded guitars and drums by yourself !? realy good job, who cares about the bass anyway:D.
Song structure and chord progression may not be revolutionary but who cares it sounds awesome. The ending is maybe abit sudden and to fast.



VCA-089 - "Carried Away":

Nice synths there. These sounds reminded me of the documentaries about sea ​​worlds. Nice dreamy vibe, maybe if only you made some variations on that arp playing throughout
the song, it might be less monotonous. Anyway, beautifull track .




MarkS - "Late Night":

Nice percussion, maybe some gentle ghost percussion like shakers for example could help to make it more alive. I think there was a room to develop that lead melody
instead of repeating 3 notes. Beautiful pads at 1:05. Overall i think this track has potential it just needs more content.



Tj Shredder - "Holy Metal Music"

I wasn't exactly expecting that type of metal haha:D .This is literally metal music, i was able to listen it once for almost 12 minutes without interruption while
i was drawing with my Wacom tablet. I removed some nasty resonances that starts around 4:20 and all was fine after that. Cool ambients.



canese - "Filow"

Wowzers!.This could very easily be my no1 track if it was longer and more refined. Nice pitch change 1:19 well executed and what's that radio thing at 0:36 sooo cool man.
Nice lo-fi vibe you managed to achieve here , shame it is so short.


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ontrackp

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#55

Post by ontrackp »

My big takeaway is that everyone has a different idea what "chill" means. For me, it's music that is engaging and relaxing so that was my main criteria. Fun listening to everyone's pieces, there was lots of variation!


Ollyaudio “Glass Birds -- Outro”
My first impression is that the fade in makes it feel like part of a bigger piece. I like the instrumentation of piano and strings, but for “chill-out” the piano playing feels heavy handed and strident to me. There is also a tension to the composition that is not very relaxing… sorry… However, there are some lovely elements to the composition. At 2:28 the choral sound is really interesting and leads into an ending that does not quite resolve anything.

TrojakEW “Alone Together”
The whispery stuff in the intro didn’t do much for me – the vocal is nice and I guess you were going for the ethereal super-wet feel, so that worked. The percussion is really nice – pulls you into the groove – so much so that the vocal actually works against it sometimes. I like the other eastern type instrumentation that is used – nice and sparse.

becsei_gyorgy “Madre Tierra”
This is very chill to me – the vocal seems buried behind the brass in some places, and the snare is kind of far forward. The Spanish guitar bits are quite nice - I would like to hear more of that. Also, the vocal is swimming in reverb – I think I would have enjoyed a more intimate and drier sound. But this was a relaxing piece and fun to listen.

Green-Dog “Margarita Tells Gossip”
I love the laid-back groove – for me – that is “chill”. I also like the dissonances in the chords. The tambourine hits feel a little loud for me, but the overall mix is really clean. The staccato lead is a nice sound, too. 1:57 kicks in nicely. 2:41 lay-back to 3:03 kick-in is effective – I like the bendy guitar sound.

Gruskada “Relaxed Problem”
Once this gets going it’s pretty relaxed – which to me is chill. The gtr sound is a little strident, but I like the chords a lot – very pretty. I think there’s a good concept here, but the execution is a little rough.

Leonard Bowman “Moonlight”
Big cymbals! I’m not sure about the vocals but I like the backing track – especially that bass sound. 1:23 I would have liked this more without the whispery voice. The jazzy light piano is really nice – and I think the chords are really cool, but hard to follow with all that vocal stuff on top.

Doc John “Back to Bird”
I really like the intro – before everything kicks in there’s an implied groove. Once the song kicks in it feels kind of pop to me – but really, really well done, and the vocal performance and sound make sense to me – no weird whispery sfx – just a really cool song. The reggae feel works really well, but wakes me up more than chilling me out. Really nice production!

SimaGT “BadChick”
This is chill. Great groove – really nice guitar playing and melody – laid back and interesting. I also like the synth lead sound – works nicely against the guitar. Nice! The vocal works too, except for the big breaths – they interrupt a little more than providing some kind of atmospheric thing for me. I have to say though – I really like the song – 3:45 is really nice.

Erictracks “walk like a king”
I’m really liking this one – nice guitar line, drums not too loud and definitely laid back, which is chill to my ears. This track is also well balanced. Even the kind of funky thing that happens around 1:30 is chill. 2:41 made me smile, the change really works. Great chords. Nice work!

Olli H “Once I knew what I was Searching For”
This is a lovely tune – the vocal sound and feel works so well with the track. Ehhh.. it falls apart a bit at the chorus though. The guitar playing and the simple drums are really fun and the laid back shuffely feel works as “chill” for me.

VCA-089 “Carried Away”
The noise is not relaxing to me. The slow arpeggio is ok but gets a little strident, so not really chill to me, but I understandthe concept you’re going for. Get’s way better at around 1:15 when the more mellow sounds come in and the noise goes away. I even like the slight dissonances – makes it interesting. The noise that comes back in is way too loud for me. The legato melody at around 2:10 is a nice synthy sound but feels a little strident - lovely melody though. 2:53 Nice! Builds up well.

Mark S “Late Night”
The crickets are cute. I think the drum pattern really works – the big stop in it doesn’t work for me – pushes me away as opposed to drawing me in. By around a minute the crickets are driving me crazy! I get what you’re doing and it’s modern and interesting but switches up so much it gets a little hard to stay involved. Really interesting ideas and clean production.

TJ Shredder “Holy Metal Music”
11 minutes – wow… big song. I like the bowl rim sound at the beginning, very meditative and feels like the start of a spiritual journey. This is the kind of music you need a lot of patience for. I like the busy stuff at around 5:15 – and the stereo imaging is very nice. I think this was a bold choice of production and is definitely “chill”.

Canese “Flow”
This has a really engaging groove – and even the weird noise stops work which is great – hard to do I think. Definitely my favorite – I’m really enjoying the de-tuing down and then up. The only thing I don’t love is the voice stuff – the background sax is awesome. Really nice track – very sophisticated I think.


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Last edited by ontrackp on Thu Apr 02, 2020 02:39 CEST, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#56

Post by VCA-089 »

Finally, my voting is finished!

Some really good tracks and tough choices. My entry is kinda off, but I really enjoyed this round.
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Ollyaudio

+ Atmosphere and mood.
+ Sound design. Good mix of synthetic and acoustic sounds.

- A bit messy at the beginning, feels like all parts are playing randomly.
- Composition lacks structure and direction. It is like watching end titles of a movie. Where is the movie itself?
- Too much low mids and bass in the mix.

TrojakEW

+ Great cinematic feel.
+ Percussion works well.
+ Good mix and stage. Bright in the upper mids but not too much.
+ Many interesting sound design elements that supports the mood and flow of the track.

+/- A bit short track, but may be it is enough.

becsei_gyorgy

+ I like how an electronic beat transforms into latin themed arrangement in the beginning.
+ Great use of vocals and instruments.
+ Good composition and mood.

+/- A tape stop effect and vocal "tunning". This things are normal to this style of electronic music and we are not here for super authentic latin song, so they may be in place here.

- The mix needs more refinement in the low end.

Green Dog

+ Great warm mood.
+ Bass and guitars played well, nice tones.
+ Good composition and arrangement. It gets really intense in the middle section.

+/- I think this track would benefit from a male vocals with a bit of tape echo.

- There are many instruments in this arrangement, but the stage is too narrow.

gruskada

+ Nicely played guitars and bass.
+ Some cool background sounds

+/- While those lo-fi beats and textures good on their own they feel a bit alien in this arrangement. It is too obvious that they are "layered" on top of the guitar performance. There is also noticeable timing issues in rhythmic elements (or it is a feature?).
+/- Overall mood feels nice but I feel that composition is a bit too long. It would be better to shorten the middle section to around 30 seconds, so we can get to more relaxed feel a bit earlier.

- Sometimes guitars and other elements are getting too harsh in the upper mids.

Leonard Bowman

+ Great lo-fi beat.
+ Production is very colorful and noisy, in the good way.
+ Overall "high" feeling. A bit different kind of chillout.

+/- Some very interesting decisions in composition and sound design that is not an everybody's bread and butter. This track has it's own soul nonetheless.

- Vocals are getting panned too hard, in the way they become too obvious and distracting.

Doc Jon

+ Nice field recordings
+ Overall production, including vocals. A radio ready song for a holiday season (which we wouldn't see this year)

+/- It is more like a pop-song than chillout.
+/- A busy mix, full of different elements that is not quite noticeable through the first listening and may be not even necessary.

- Too loud and too bright sound.

SimaGT

+ Cool lo-fi beat and chillout feel.
+ Arranged and mixed well.

+/- In terms of lyrics it is another pop song which "calls to action".
+/- It is obvious that vocals are from sample library and it feels like it was used somwhere already. As someone said, it may better work in some "Remix contest".

- Sometimes the artifical nature of the vocals are too obvious.

erictracks

+ Good selection of instruments and playing.
+ Very nice mood and feel.
+ Nice composition and chord progressions.

+/- Perhaps this track missing the main vocal/lead/solo.
+/- The mix lacks some "air", but it is not critical.

ontrackp

+ Good drums and percussion.
+ Coo synth sounds.
+ It has that chillout feel.

+/- May be too long. I really like that synth section in the end and it could be better to reach it earlier.

- Fade out in the end breaks the mood.

Olli H

+ Great song. The lyrics fits perfectly with my mood.
+ Nice playing and singing.
+ Overall production is good.

+/- Althrough I really like the song, it may be too melancholic for chillout.
+/- A little bit of lazy solo in the end would be nice.

MarkS

+ Some interesting sounds.

+/- May be too calm to be chillout, more like a sleeping music.

- The track lacks a compositional structure.
- The parts are too repetitive and feels like a couple of MIDI clips copied across the arrangement.
- Production is not there yet.

Tj-Shredder

+ Nice drones and textures.

+/- Some sections may be too long and overall timeline could be shorter.
+/- It can take you to Nirvana, but are we still speaking about chillout?

- Needs to tame some harsh resonances.
- Too quiet compared to other entries. It seems it is not mastered properly.

Canese

+ Cool tape effects.
+ Nice dotted feel to the groove.
+ This style works perfectly for chillout

+/- A bit heavy on kick and bass, but I think it is a part of aesthetic.

- Lacks some variations in the melody and chord progression.

JILLIAM

The entry is redacted. I can't even listen to it.
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#57

Post by Mister Fox »

A friendly reminder:
We're in the last 24 hours to give feedback and cast your vote.
MarkS

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#58

Post by MarkS »

So, if this month was about chill out theme i rated tracks more as if they fit to it, not just the melody and fx processing.
But first some feedback:

VCA-089, to me the arpeggio lead is too repetitive, maybe some changes to it or some pause in it should do the thing. To me it sounds more like an ost than an ambient track as it is like a movie scene.

becsei_gyorgy, the drums lack a bit of reverb, some more room, but not so much will be enough. the vocals and guitar spanish vibe add to the song a chill vibe.

Doc Jon, rasta vibes bring summer close to us, not very chill out, but the happy mood makes it interesting and pleasant to listen.

erictracks, maybe some distant vocals should sound good together with all instruments, or some piano playing in high pitch/octave too.

gruskada, the percussion hit or kick drum is too powerful, if you try to make an ost than i agree. those hits don 't chill you instead this just adds some tension and should not be here.

J I L L I A M, the bass sounds more like drum n bass than chill out, and is a bit distorted. the drum rhythm is a bit to quick, slowing down tempo will be just fine.

LeonardBowman, some chill hop vibe i hear here. i think it does not need any changes at all.

Tj-Shredder, some shaker playing in background will add some balance in the track.

TrojakEW, drums sound a bit too epic to me or not so chill as should sound in ambient music.

Olli H, fallout new vegas radio brings back memories to me, maybe you got inspired by it or just by the country vibes.

canese, some chill hop here too, which youtubechanel do you listen to, the one with the raccoon working on laptop or the girl studying all day? :)

ollyaudio, i think a break with a pad playing or dividing piano melody will make the track more interesting.

ontrackp, the kick drum is a bit too powerful, maybe some brushed drums will make percussion less aggressive.

SimaGT, the song sounds like something between chill hop and pop, but i think it goes with this month theme.

Green-Dog, your track reminds me some gorillaz songs, it has a slow mood that sounds good too.

YuriyKolosov, you should have upload your track early as it would be first in top, this is good example of an ambient/chill out track.

so here is the top:
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#59

Post by canese »

ontrackp wrote:
Tue Mar 31, 2020 18:49 CEST
Canese “Flow”
The only thing I don’t love is the voice stuff.
Come on! you don't like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix??? :headscratch:
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC031 March 2020 - Voting until 01-APR-2020 11:59pm GMT+2/CEST

#60

Post by canese »

Hello lads, thanks for listening to my track and writing your feedback. I appreciate it.
This month was hard to vote, I came to like many tracks and my vote it's definetly not fair.

Feedbacks:

ollyaudio. "Glass birds. Outro"
Nice ambiences with the drums and synths, but piano is telling too much and nothing at the same time. 2nd part without it was much better. Good harmonies in general and mixing was also great!

TrojakEW "Alone Together".
OMG! This is a masterpiece, excellent choise of sounds. The drums, bass and synths allign perfectly with the vocals and give the track a dark ambience that gives me chills. This song has nothing to envy Dead can dance or massive attack. Only remark... too short. I want more at the end, and more means probably a high energy part with 3 or 4 BPM more. Excellent work, keep it up!

Tj Shredder. "Holy Metal Music"
I think it fulfills the purpose of meditation. It's slow but also moving, not resting in the same place. It's interesting how you build the track. But the timbres are to harsh for chilling IMO.

MarkS "Late Night".
Great calm piece. I love the drums and atmosphere synths. It tells a nice story and they blend together in a unique way.

Becsei Gyorgy - Madre Tierra.
Harmony is awsome, simple but elevates the song. All instrument melodies are so very well written and how they complement each other and the vocals is almost surreal. Had a pleaseant feeling after hearing it. Only remark are the drums. Something more organic will work better with the song theme.

Green-Dog "Margarita Tells Gossip"
Awsome track! It has a groove that makes your body move. I hear some westworld harmonies and I like it. The pluck/marimba sound I feel it doesn't blend very well with the other sounds. Very professional composition, mixing and mastering.

gruskada "Relaxed Problem"
Perfect for chilling and awake dreaming. Bass alone could've made the track alone, very well played. The ambience created is awsome, but I feel that it should be slower by a couple of BPM. Mixing speaking, it can be improved. Maybe boosting the guitar and adding more delay to it.

Doc Jon "Back To Bird"
Well, well, well, this reggae is dope! Nothing more to add. I wish I had wine in my veins to appreciate it more. Sir, you are a legend!

SimaGT "BadChick"
Awesome! You have to have talent to make art like this. It seems the vocals were made for this track. I know it's not your vocals or melody but honestly the song rocks and it's because of the backing instruments and arrengments in ecual proportion.

erictracks_walklikeaking
Nice theme for victories. lol. It's chill and relaxes me. Good choise of timbre but mixing doesn't help to the song, maybe too many guitars and quiet drums.

VCA-089 "Carried Away"
Good tune for a ciberpunk videogame or movie, I think. Nice harmonies and relaxing melodies also. Mixing is excellent in this track. Love the automations and filters.

Olli H "Once I Knew What I Was Searching For"
Great songwritting, songstructure, harmonies, melodies and everything is in the place it belongs. Love the track for a sunday afternoon ride and chilling.

ontrackp "Chillout"
Good backing track for soloing or just being. I like the creativity in programing the drums but they are a little bit distracting and not letting the other instrument take their place. Also, kick is too loud in comparison to the snare.

Leonard Bowman "Moonlight"
Very creative and experimental hip hop, feels a lot like portishead. Good work with mixing! Everything has it place and leads to a higher purpose.

YuriyKolosov "When They Find Us"
Cool ambience with well crafted SFX and sound desing. Good job man, hope to hear more of your entries in the next months.

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