Cameron,
Thank you for sharing your tracks with us for this contest!
Now that I can speak candidly about your song I would like to offer some of my thoughts as feedback to you based on my first impression of your material.
First of all, I like the instrumentation, arrangement and chorus vocals. Minor pitch and timing adjustments are no big deal and something I do as prep for nearly every mix.
Where the song kind of "falls down" for me are the verses. I honestly had a hard time tuning the vocals because it wasn't clear to me what the melody was supposed to be. The second halves of both verses are stronger than the first halves and what I ultimately used as a guide for determining the key. If you have trouble singing the melody in any part of a song play the intended notes on a piano, record it and use that as a guide track while singing. You can then delete or mute that piano track afterwards.
The lyrics in the verses also hit me a bit odd. Your chorus line "you'll find another one" is great - it's somewhat vague which is a GOOD thing because it keeps the listener interested to find out what the song is about. However, the verse then goes into "it's a funny feeling" which, I feel, are too soft of words to describe a failed relationship. It needs to be more painful - perhaps "it's a hallow feeling", "it's a hurting feeling", etc. Simple word changes like that can have a huge affect on the feel of the song.
I've been doing this a long time and hope some of this feedback helps - but it is just my opinion - take it at will. Best wishes!
Jeff Rippe
Raising Jake Studios
www.raisingjakestudios.com
