SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC035 July 2020 - Winners announced

[Mister Fox]

A friendly reminder:
We're in the final 24 hours to submit your production

[Olli H]

Law And Order

WAV: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rPyKfs ... sp=sharing


Rap is new area to me. After having listened the ”old school” examples of this competition, I realized that the rap can be made upon almost any genre. Some music parts in my rap are pure rock, and some parts are beats in the Public Enemy style - at least somewhat. And of course - to follow Public Enemy - I had to add some ”historical samples”.

I don’t know if Randy Newman has ever made rap-songs, but that’s what I tried to do: a rap in the randynewman style. And I agree, the end result is quite ugly and nasty portrait of a right-wing pro-gun activist Falcon X and his followers.

This is also a rap about how some great laws and rules can be interpreted in many ways and used against they original meanings. That’s one of the big themes in George Orwell’s satirical book ”Animal Farm” which describes Russian Revolution and what happened after that. That book was an inspiration to me, so I took some lines from there. To balance the political map, I took some lines from the 1st and 2nd amendments to the United States’s constitution. Shortly after I had tried to find some information about 2nd amendment, I got spam email from some pro-gun organization. So, suitably, just in time, I was offered a couple of more ready lines to my rap. So those were my ingredients, to which I added my own disgusting lines to paint the picture of Falcon X and his followers.

To jump into the shoes of Falcon X was an fun but weird way to find within me my blustering and bold angry voice. And more I yelled about guns, more anti-gun I became. (Well, I've never been pro-gun). Hopefully, it happens to others also.




LYRICS:

► Show Spoiler

We need the law and order,
brothers and sister,
We need the law and order,
All the problems cross the border

We must keep our land safe and free,
Can’t you hear me: safe and free,

I’ll count to three.
One, two, three


Hey there, you ”trigger boy”,
wanna be a bigger boy with charm?
Hey there you ”trigger boy”,
Join the animal farm!

I skipped the schools, they are just for fools.
We’ve got our own set of rules.

The rule number one is for me and my gun.
Whatever goes upon two legs
is an enemy.
Whatever goes upon four legs,
or has wings, is a friend.

(Followers: Amen! That’s the end.
Four legs good, two legs better,
I’m a go-getter.)

The rule number two, that’s for you.
No animal shall kill
any other animal. But here’s my bill:
No animal shall kill,
any other animal without cause
of course. Use force!
When in doubt, shout out loud,
and I’ll be there to pick you out.

Let’s go, I’ll count to four.
One, two, three ... four

Hey there, you ”trigger boy”,
wanna be a bigger boy with charm?
Hey there you ”trigger boy”,
Join the animal farm!

Think you are safe? Think again!
For they have taken the aim.
They want to abolish our right to carry!
Be merry, I’ll bury
all their bad intentions.

I’m second to none, when I’m with my gun,
When it’s dark, I’m having fun.

A well regulated Militia
being necessary
to the security
of a free State,
so be straight

the right of the people
to keep and bear,
to keep and bear arms,
shall not be infringed.
Or you’ll be pinched
behind the barn.


We need the law and order.
All the problems cross the border.

Let’s go, I’ll count to five.
One, two, three and five

Hey there, you ”trigger boy”,
wanna be a bigger boy with charm?
Hey there you ”trigger boy”,
Join the animal farm!

The rule number three,
and that’s for real.
No real animal shall wear clothes.

(Followers: No mask No mask)

The mask is left, ”no mask” is right.
It prevents the real fight,
the real fight and yelling,
can’t you hear what I’m telling.

(Followers: No mask No mask)

So, Congress shall make no law
abridging the freedom of speech.

I don’t care if the sun don’t shine.
There’s no fight that my gun won’t fight.
You’re left. I’m right.
And if I’m right, then you’ll be wrong,
So, be long gone.
It’s that simple. Don’t be pimple.
Do I have to squeeze you out
To protect the freedom of speech?

Everybody scream,
I count to three,
One, two, three

(Followers: yea haw)

All animals are equal.
but some are more equal
than others. You brothers!
We’ll protect your mothers,
your fathers.
So, join the animal farm!

(Wannabe follower:
Hey there, you ”trigger boy”,
wanna be a bigger boy with charm?
Hey there you ”trigger boy”,
Join the animal farm!)

DAW: Reaper
Drums: Kontakt
Bass: Massive
Slap Bass: Trilian + my own samples
Synths: Massive
Piano: Kontakt
Real Guitars
Vocals: my Alter Ego

Calculated with online Youlean loudness meter:
Momentary Max = -10.51 LUFS
Short Term Max = -13.03 LUFS
Integrated = -16.44 LUFS

[becsei_gyorgy]

Hi, it was quite a difficult task making rap song in the middle of summer.
Maybe an ambient music task would have been better and maybe would have been more submissions.

For now, this is a demo project (mp3 version), there is still work to be done on it, but the deadline is the deadline...
(the final version will be ready on the weekend)


My submission is a collaboration project with a chilean artist El Losada:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qhRrAv ... sp=sharing

DAW: Reaper

Arturia Spark 2
Modo Bass
Korg M1
LABS Soft Piano
Kontakt:
Ilya Efimov Acoustic Guitar
Session Horns
Celestial Voices Ceres
Studiolinked VIP (4.99 $ now at Studiolinked.com !)

FX:
Blackhole
bx_console SSL 4000E
bx_cleansweep pro
bx_control V2
bx_digital V3
Vertigo VSC-2
Soundtoys Decapitator
Soundtoys Echoboy
Soundtoys PanMan
Fabfilter Pro Q-3
Glitch 2
iZotope Vinyl
Kickstart
Waves L1 Limiter
Waves RBass
WAves RVox
TR5 Black 76
TR5 VC-670
Valhalla Vintage Verb
SPAN

► Show Spoiler

ESPAÑOL.
.
Mientras mas ensayo disminuye el error
Mientras mas equivocaciones supero me vuelvo mejor
mientras mas heridas tengo mas fuerte se hace mi voz
entre mas caidas mas varia mi margen de error
Mientras mas ensayo disminuye el error
Mientras mas equivocaciones supero me vuelvo mejor
mientras mas heridas tengo mas fuerte se hace mi voz
entre mas caidas mas varia mi margen de error
.
Se ha acabado el tiempo y no existe manera de salvarte
vendienedo la pesca no sere yo quien va a comprarte
criticas de todos es lo que mas vas a encontrarte
Bueno hermano, pero por algo se parte
Se tu mismo donde quiera que tu vayas
verdaderas amistades por A o por B Te fallan
No me engañan, saca las lagañas
ponte vio y prepara tu batalla

Transporto mi alma, no importa lo que haya clavado en la carne
Deporte del karma, practican aquellos cobardes sin sangre
el humor se salva, mas negro que cartman, pide la alarma
si lo necesario pa esto no te alcanza
Algunos necesitan y otros quieren 20
cuidado con el sub-bajo que te pega en el vientre
Soy un vidente pero no el de siempre
no amo a cualquiera, but i love the haters
.
Mientras mas ensayo disminuye el error
Mientras mas equivocaciones supero me vuelvo mejor
mientras mas heridas tengo mas fuerte se hace mi voz
entre mas caidas mas varia mi margen de error
Mientras mas ensayo disminuye el error
Mientras mas equivocaciones supero me vuelvo mejor
mientras mas heridas tengo mas fuerte se hace mi voz
entre mas caidas mas varia mi margen de error
.
No estoy en busca del dinero, ni de fama, ni de nada
solo busco nuevas mentes oidos sordos y declaro,
gratis a la audiencia, poesia sin peso de caro
intento matar 2 hojas con un solo disparo
quiero a mis damas que son 2 las que contaba
sin crianza del amor que ni en mis sueños imaginara
recuerdas esa cara que ningun pintor pintara
que en mi mente yo te envuelvo, invento mil colores para
crearte para verte cuantas veces yo lo quiera
si estuvieras escuchando una historia que se narra
no empieza ni termina esto no esta que se acaba
no hay democracia en el ritmo por que no hay quien me votara
llegue de la nada, no me cuelgo en tu espada
el filo se hizo solo y me converti en katana
piquete de la vida este camino es infinito
por las vias de este tren que nicagando alguien para
.
ENGLISH
.
The more trial the error decreases
The more mistakes I overcome, the better
The more wounds I have the stronger my voice becomes
the more falls the more my margin of error varies
The more trial the error decreases
The more mistakes I overcome, the better
The more wounds I have the stronger my voice becomes
the more falls the more my margin of error varies
.
Time is up and there is no way to save you
The fishing won't come, I'm not going to buy you
criticism of all is what else you will find
Well brother, but for something it breaks
Be yourself wherever you go
true friendships for A or B fail you
Don't fool me, get the licks out
get saw and prepare your battle

I carry my soul, no matter what I have nailed to the flesh
Karma sport, practice those cowards without blood
humor is saved, blacker than cartman, ask for the alarm
If what is necessary for this is not enough
Some need and others want 20
watch out for the sub-bass that hits your belly
I'm a seer but not the same as always
I don't love anyone, but i love the haters
.
The more trial the error decreases
The more mistakes I overcome, the better
The more wounds I have the stronger my voice becomes
the more falls the more my margin of error varies
The more trial the error decreases
The more mistakes I overcome, the better
The more wounds I have the stronger my voice becomes
the more falls the more my margin of error varies
.
I'm not looking for money, or fame, or anything
I'm just looking for new minds deaf ears and I declare,
free to the audience, weightless poetry of expensive
I try to kill 2 sheets with a single shot
I love my ladies who are 2 who counted
without nurturing of the love that not even in my dreams imagined
do you remember that face that no painter painted
that in my mind I wrap you, I invent a thousand colors to
create you to see you as many times as I want
if you were listening to a story being told
this does not start or end this is not ending
there is no democracy in the rhythm because there is no one to vote for me
I came out of nowhere, I don't hang on your sword
the edge was made alone and I became a katana
picket of life this path is infinite
by the tracks of this train that nicagando someone to

[Mister Fox]

It is the 25th June 2020, 0:15 UTC+2/CEST - this month's Songwriting Competition has official ended

Once more a very warm "hello and welcome" to all new participants. I hope you enjoy your stay. We had 4 participants overall, which is 5 entries less compared to last month (9 entries), and 1 more compared to last year (3 entries). Since "Hip Hop" is a very popular genre, and I didn't pull any punches regarding promo - I kind of expected, uhm, more participation. And we're back on a downwards trend. I slowly question myself, if the work invested each month is really worth it at this point.


The "staff balancing vote" add-on rule does not apply
"Sole Winners Podium" rule (equal or less than seven participants results in a single winner) does apply. (1-position Winners Podium)

There was no (number: 0) production submitted after the deadline
No (number: 0) entry has been disqualified
No (number: 0) entry has been redacted



How do we go from there?

Over the course of the next (hopefully) 24-48 hours, I'll gather all links into one post and hot-link to that from the first post of the thread. Please, no more changes to your entries, but please do check your links that they're downloadable. We then perform with the "public vote" system.


We have 4 participants. That means that each participant can vote for 3 tracks, the staff will will not cast a balance vote.

Keep in mind of the overhaul of the Rules and Guidelines. As long as we're not exceeding 20 participants, let's give feedback to all participants and(!) cast your vote for all of them.

The Top 20 list can look something like this:

01 (10 pts) - Mr Moon
02 (9 pts) - Mr Sun
03 (8 pts) - Mrs Venus
04 (7 pts) - Mr Mars and his companions
05 (6 pts) - ...
06 (5 pts) - ...

How your voting could look like, please take a look at these posts (sans the super technical information):
viewtopic.php?p=2311#p2311
viewtopic.php?p=2478#p2478
viewtopic.php?p=2819#p2819
viewtopic.php?p=3522#p3522

Please cast your vote in collective form through the "spoiler text" BBcode:

Code: Select all

[spoil]01 participant
02 participant
03 participant[/spoil]

Please use the forum username of the participant to make it easier during the score collection to address what vote belongs to whom.



Please also take note of the Rules and Guidelines (on giving feedback (mandatory for all participants, failing to do so results in a disqualification). Maybe have a bit more focus on giving feedback on how one might improve their songwriting or overall sound.

Feedback from non-participants is highly encouraged (voting not needed!). The same goes for entries after the deadline, or those that do sadly not count for the current running game. Musicians and Engineers are always after constructive criticism. This is what this forum is about.



Have some general feedback? Please voice your feedback/opinion/concerns here:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=97



Please have an eye on this thread!

[Mister Fox]

Let us kick off the VOTING PROCESS, which will end on Saturday, 01-AUG-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST latest


There is a GLOBAL COUNTDOWN to check for deadlines.
Just follow this link: Global Countdown (on homepage)



Here is the collection of productions from all participants (in hope that I didn't forget anyone). As usual, if you click on the small upwards-arrow right beside the quoted name, you can jump to the original post and read up on the documentation for this production.


.

"Ignorance is bliss"

"That is sick!"

WAV: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MpjMFm ... sp=sharing

"Law And Order"

WAV: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rPyKfs ... sp=sharing

"ENSAYO feat. El Losada"

MP3: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qhRrAv ... sp=sharing

.



BONUS ENTRIES (submitted after the deadline - you can not vote for it, but feel free to give feedback)

<no bonus entries available>
.


Please consult the last post of how your vote could look like (which links to more sources). And to make it simple for me for counting the votes - please use the forum usernames in your listing. Thank you!

SWC035 participants giving feedback to each other (to every participant) and casting your vote is mandatory, else you will be disqualified. Please also keep the bonus point game mechanic in mind.


Good luck to all participants!

[becsei_gyorgy]

If anyone is interested I made my final mix of my original submission – out of competition, of course -:

[becsei_gyorgy]

There were interesting songs this month too, I'm sorry that there are usually fewer applicants in the summer months, although let's relax and travel as long as we can...

TrojakEW: Ignorance is bliss
Professional mix.
Old skool feeling, nice vinyl cracks, good scratching sample and nice lyrics.
Overall good sounds, but the brass part is a bit repetitive (more than what is needed for the style) and maybe it could have been a little-little more darker.
I think the vocals suited the song, but sometimes I felt a little unnecessary to pitch down the vocal.
In 3 days, with nice lyrics, excellent work.

GauravTalreja: That Is Sick
Nice intro, I like much that sound.
Good bass sound (little loud), nice panned vocal parts.
The song definitely creates a unique atmosphere that fits well with the lyrics.
The end is a little sudden as if the song was still going on.
Well-composed song, however, I feel empty in the middle.
Strong kick and sub (maybe a little overemphasized), but between 200-1K (The Low-Mid part) there is a gap which would be worth filling in with an other instrument/sound.

OlliH: Law-And-Order
We got a whole little tale here
There is a lot of work in it, good ideas, catchy chorus part.
Maybe not a conventional rap song, but both musically and lyrically there are so many ideas and playfulness in it that you can't give it low points.
I almost see the cartoon in my mind for which the music was made.
Nice balanced song.

► Show Spoiler

10pt OlliH: Law-And-Order
9pt GauravTalreja: That Is Sick
8 pt TrojakEW: Ignorance is bliss

[Olli H]

This voting process is the most difficult and painful part of these competitions. Especially as we have only four submissions.
When I first listened these three submissions, I couldn't find any way to put them into any specific order. They all sounded great to me. Depending on what criteria to emphasize I could put these three submissions to any order. After that I decided to listen them many times in the row during my long walks. Only through repetition I started to hear things that bothered me, and things that lasted repetitive listening.



============


TrojakEW - Ignorance is Bliss
The opening sounds like an opening to some Bela Lucosi’s Horror movie. Cool sound!
When the rapping starts, I get a picture of Homer Simpson laying on his sofa, drinking beer and commenting news stream.

The more I listen to this, the more I like it.

Small ear candies and sound effects here and there work very fine. When the ear expects and wants hear something new, it’s offered. Those effects suit fine with the cartoon like imagery I get out of this. Well done!

Horns tooting on fourth beat work very nicely. They are coming out very strongly, but still they don’t interrupt the story line.

Drums are very strong and fit nicely the horror sound. But next to those drums bass feels a bit weak, and also bass note articulation is a tad unclear. The bass riff could be very nice but now it doesn’t come out clearly. Maybe there's also too much compression with bass, as it feels that the tail of the note starts to grow stronger than beginning.


============


becsei_gyorgy - Ensayo

This one was difficult for me to judge. On the other hand it was the strongest and maybe the only real rap among this month's submissions, but on the other hand there are some problems that started to bother me.

Music-part
Opening has oriental influences, but when horns come in, the music part becomes very beautiful latino ballad. Well, I don't know latino music that well, but it reminds of some Mexican trumpet song.

But when the rapping starts, the music turns into a background music. Rightly so, for focus should be in rapping, but as rapping doesn’t offer any breathing moments for the listener, there are no chances to put focus temporarily to the music. Focus is too long periods in rapping and it starts to bring rapping fatigue for the listener. So I miss some short moments here and there where the focus could be on music details, and listener could safely inhale. Short musical focus moments after every second line could have given more power also to rapping.

But the melody line behind the rapping is very beautiful. I would suggest you to make it an instrumental ballad.

Rapping-part
At first listening this was the most convincing rapping part. There's a right kind of attitude or somethings that makes it work. We have here an artist with something real to say, and I'm willing to listen and believe him. But with further listen some rhythmical lyrics things started to bother me.

- Too many words on each line: there’s no time to breathe. As it's not live performance the rapper can solve that problem by recording lines in separate takes, but that doesn’t help the listener. At least I started to get breathing problems.

- Verses overlap: the start of the new verse happened before previous has ended. It could be a nice effect for once or twice, but as it’s happening more often it starts to sound like a problem of lyric’s writing.

- Speedy rapping parts (1:05-1:14) don’t make a nice speedy rhythm. Now it sounds like an unsolved ”too-many-words” problem.

- Rapping rhythm is too static and too much in the same rhyme scheme throughout the song. Rapping would benefit if there is weird but natural rhythmic changes.

All those problems were text related. This rap would have probably been impossible to perform live. But if the rapper solves these kinds of text-related problems, I'm sure he’ll become a great rapper with a right attitude.

Ad libs are now quite repetitive and coming through a too anticipatable pattern. I think this way they don’t enhance the rapping, but rather they start to disturb. I would have trusted more rappers own voice alone. Now also these ad libs mask the nice music behind. When music goes stronger, also ad libs go stronger.





============


gaurav.talreja - That Is Sick
This sounds like some kind of rap mantra to me. Or a spell, with which you’re trying to solve some bigger problems. Great! Maybe it’s more modern than what was intended by the genre of this competition, but I don’t mind. It works very nicely.

I like how the beat track is done with a just couple of instruments. It gives room to small nuances that you have used nicely. For example those speedy bass-lines are very nice, and there’s a great space offered to them naturally. Tremolo-effect great! Music part is very convincing and coherent.

The rap part and beat are woven together very nicely. Some lines are rhythmically a bit clumsy, but it doesn’t matter in the long run as long as the spell works.

The text part is maybe too sparse. It doesn’t open to me. But probably your target audience in some other sphere get it. Perhaps you could have painted more images with words. Couple of more clear or mystical lines could have given new dimensions to this rap.

► Show Spoiler

01 (10 pts) - TrojakEW
02 (9 pts) - gaurav.talreja
03 (8 pts) - becsei_gyorgy

[TrojakEW]

I do started my music journey making hip hop beats very very long time ago so it may sounds I have some advantage in this round. But I made my last beat in this style about 15 years ago. Then it becomes boring and I wanted to move forward and to make some more complex noise. So my only advantage is I know this genre and have listened to many different known and also less know artist. Otherwise I forgot how to make such music.

So in the end I score based on my listening experience and how far it brings my old memories back. Again I included some basic statistics to compare.
---------------------------------------
gaurav.talreja - That is sick!
Track have more modern trap feel with emphasis on bass and with really simple main melody made from three notes and synth sound elements. This is why I do not like trap beat much because intro main part and even outro is almost identical. Otherwise beat is nice. Simple lyrics but they fit the track.

Now I do like the space you created in mix. All instruments have space and do not interfere with other and there is not that much compression happening but ... Beat loose power on worse/cheap speakers/headphones. That low bass around 50Hz together with kick is almost inaudible. On good speakers/phone it is good but mix should sound good on everything. There is "hole" in low mid section from 200Hz to 2kHz. Not sure if this is really uncompressed wav because there is missing frequencies above 16kHz. Good mono compatibility even that synth sounds have phasing issues but it is still audible in mono. Some minor clipping on right channel that becomes even bigger when uploaded on some streaming services after compression and it may incorporate unwanted distortion.

Overall it fits genre and with some polishing the track can be better. I like also voice placement/switch between center, left and right.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -9,0 LUFS
Max short-tem loudness -11,0 LUFS
Integrated loudness -14,3 LUFS
Loudness range 7,1 LU
True peak L -0.06dB
True peak R +0.31dB (4 samples clipped)
DC offset L +0.002% (-92.3dB)
DC offset R +0.003% (-91.9dB)
---------------------------------------
Olli H - Law And Order
Track is nice but even there are some minor elements I can not simple put this track to rap, hip hop genre. It really have country/pop feel. Too clean drums that lacks power with pattern that not fit genre together with voice , that feel more like singing are not suited for this style. As you said rap can be made upon any genre but you should put that "any" genre elements inside rap/hiphop genre and not the other way around. Also your voice kind feel you are whispering. Your voice is weak this way and doesn't trying to persuade me about you arguments in your lyrics. It is more like you are worrying to tell your opinion to us. The voice energy itself put some points down.

I like the mix. Good tonal balance and good stage. Some instruments have some phase issues like that synth bass sound around 40 sec (it loose power in mono - it is less audible) but everything else sounds ok, so not much problem in that area.

If the round will be in pop music you will have definitely an advantage there.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -9,7 LUFS
Max short-tem loudness -12,6 LUFS
Integrated loudness -16,5 LUFS
Loudness range 4,9 LU
True peak L -1.02dB
True peak R -0.71dB
DC offset L +0.006% (-85.2dB)
DC offset R +0.006% (-84.3dB)

---------------------------------------
becsei_gyorgy - ENSAYO feat. El Losada
This is interesting one. Music itself is great but I wish the beat was stronger/powerful and more upfront. Now it sound weird and kick is almost inaudible it is more just like click part of kick. Voice sounds good but the rest of music in track shine. Bass, guitar trumpet is great. There were many interpreters that use this style in rap.

Wav version looks tonally more balanced but I like more that first mp3 version. In wav version instruments fight each other and voice is less audible joining the battle with the rest of instruments. It also looks that you boost overall loudness and added some compression. Track become more like sausage even you were trying to bring down integrated loudness this new wav version simply sound louder and flat. So yes I like the first version more. You also have some clipping on right channel in wav version.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -7,1 LUFS
Max short-tem loudness -9,7 LUFS
Integrated loudness -13,0 LUFS
Loudness range 12,1 LU
True peak L -0.13dB
True peak R -0.06dB
DC offset L -0.007% (-82.6dB)
DC offset R -0.007% (-83.1dB)
---------------------------------------

► Show Spoiler

01 (10 points) becsei_gyorgy - ENSAYO feat. El Losada
02 (09 points) gaurav.talreja - That is sick!
03 (08 points) Olli H - Law And Order

[gaurav.talreja]

Hello Folks,
Thanks for all the critical appreciation.I shall look into all the aspects to make this track better.
All the submissions is a classic example of what immense talent is present.I did give them multiple listens over the week.So here is what I have to say about the tracks.

@TrojakEW - 8 points

I shall begin my saying this track has a old school mix but the vocals sounds like a news parody to me and can give a feel of a beat with someone just reading out a poem in the background.Its completely flat interms of vocals.

Coming to the production, sounds like a traditional old school beat which I ve heard several times.That means its not new to the ear.There are elements however to give a vibe reminding me of a old school hip-hop,one where in ciphers can happen between rappers.

WRT mix I felt vocals could have stood out
Felt a lot of saturation used
Could have given space to more elements in the master.
The rap lacks timing and rhythm

I liked the scratches used as fillers but overall needs a design to fit the genre and do justice.May be it was submitted in a hurry.Has lots of room for improvement.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -10.4 LUFS
Max short-tem loudness -11.8 LUFS
Integrated loudness -14.0 LUFS
Loudness range 6.5 LU
True peak L -1.06dB
True peak R -1.07dB
DC offset L 0% (-180.7dB)
DC offset R 0% (-169.9dB)

@Olli H - 9 points

Good try since its the first time.I must say that the track gives me a RNB feel with a blend of hiphop and country.Quite trippy.
I liked the lyrics which really stand out, but the vocals sound too distorted and rough.
There is space within your elements and your composition on the drums s quite wonderful how you ve made an acoustic kit fit into this track.
The track seems to be lengthy and transitions seems fine.
Keys/Synths sound fun and catchy
Overall a great effort but slightly out of context.

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -9,7 LUFS
Max short-tem loudness -12,6 LUFS
Integrated loudness -16,5 LUFS
Loudness range 4,9 LU
True peak L -1.02dB
True peak R -0.71dB
DC offset L +0.006% (-85.2dB)
DC offset R +0.006% (-84.3dB)

@becsei_gyorgy - 10 points

Congrats on this wonderful track.Great composition.I love the collaboration.Fits well into the genre.The synths stand out for me.

the rap sounds like a rap now, with great permutations and keeping excellent rhythmic patters.However the transitions could have been much more smoother towards the change in verses.The drums sounds like elements taken from various kits with a good amalgamation.
The mix as you knew had to be worked on which you did and I did listen to your latest mix as well.Good job !

Statistics:
Max momentary loudness -7 LUFS
Max short-tem loudness -9.5 LUFS
Integrated loudness -130 LUFS
Loudness range 12 LU
True peak L -0.13dB
True peak R -0.06dB
DC offset L -0.007% (-82.6dB)
DC offset R -0.007% (-83.1dB)

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01 becsei_gyorgy 10 points
02 Olli H 9 points
03 TrojakEW 8 points