The following took me longer than planned. I apologize for the waiting time. I need to do better for future games.
Aside from that, the feedback will mostly focus on the technical side of things. It's a pity that many entries didn't see an edit / revision. However, I am aware that time management is a thing.
On to the feedback, shall we?
@Chasey24
After listening extensively to both versions, I must admit that I actually prefer the original variant more in terms of songwriting (especially the intro). Your final version definitely created some more room to breathe for instruments. However the acoustic guitars are still way too loud, and the drums also feel over-processed (as if somebody is constantly slapping a rubber shoe over a wood panel). Some of the guitar playing (power chords) and mixing definitely improved though, while the "helicopter chugging" is actually way too washed out now.
Overall - still interesting, but you may have taken the criticism on the topic "epicness" a bit too much to heart.
@Doc Jon
The changes are actually really subtle here. I think this was your general idea in this case - built upon the feedback, touch up what needs a touch up. The transitions to the drum sections are definitely better (especially the first one), although it still feels a tiny bit choppy. Posing as "the client" however, I'm not a fan of the overall drum loop "sound" with the flang-y "binaural" feel (it's also now a bit more washed out on headphones).
Then again, as mentioned before, this is down to personal preference. Overall - nice touch up.
@Elcubano
Glad you could still manage to adjust the occasional thing prior to the end of the deadline. The beat compared to the synths feel way more balanced now, even though the lead synth melody in the second half of the song is still just a touch loud. Yet looking at the "bigger picture", it works and is a way better listening experience on both speakers and headphones (although on headphones, the reverb feels a bit much in places).
Small adjustments, huge influence. Nicely done. Although your entry is the loudest this month.
Once more, welcome to the community. I hope we'll hear more from you in the future.
@Crosshatched
I can't really add much more to the feedback I've given during the submission time-frame, as this is unfortunately one of the entries that might not have seen an update. I still see a lot potential in this song, but it's also very sparse in terms of instrumentation.
Overall, you did great. You stepped out of your comfort zone, made music, took a risk with your entry. I really wish you would have done just a touch more, shown the "clients" that you can adapt, push things further. I would love to hear more from you in future games.
@EsteveCorbera
The melody lines are definitely improved and don't feel as "out of tune" anymore. However, your instrument balance is still off. The trumpets are too loud (small speakers, it's not as strong on headphones), and even with the dialed back reverb, they still stick out than "gel into" the rest of the arrangement (second trumpet).
If I were to mix this, I'd definitely pull the brass back by about -1,5dB to -2dB, and reduce the reverb so that it still has a room, but doesn't feel like being in an empty club. By adding reverb to the upright bass and the drums, you also inadvertedly created some sort of 1990s video game "feeling" -- this is a matter of taste of course. Yet I'd actually also dial back on the reverb just a bit.
Tricky situation - but I really recommend you to listen to your mixes not only on headphones (even though you use a correction tool), but also on multiple other listening environments (earbuds, small speakers, large speakers, etc -- this really is important!). This way you can really notice what is jumping out. I like the bold concept, you did adjust a lot. Great work. I think, it's really just down to final touches.
@FixInTheMix
This is the second entry that sadly couldn't get additional feedback and therefore a proper chance for touch-ups. I think the clients would have definitely said that you "understood the premise and created an interesting story through music". The instrumentation is simplistic, yet works surprisingly well. I'm not kidding if I say that this track was also on multiple repeats to hear all the fine details (headphones).
There could have been a touch "more" instrumentation wise, maybe even an additional minute of music with more added percussion elements (I miss the occasional snare). Mix wise, this translates surprisingly well both to small speakers, and headphones with way too much bass. Although I
do miss the bass a bit - which in your case, mostly comes from the piano and strings. There is a bass in the later section of the song, but it's really subtle. The hi-hat section at the 1:21 minute mark is also a bit loud, the kick could have been a touch more dry. This would have been a topic for additional fine-tuning.
Overall - great entry. Would have loved to hear the "finished version" though.
@juhu
I'm undecided on the final version. You definitely adjusted the balance of certain instruments, the drums don't feel as choppy during transitions. However, overall... I don't know what to think of the key changes and the now even more repetitive feeling (as if there are bridge sections missing) - maybe this change went a bit too far (and clients would definitely pick up on that).
One thing of note here, is that the bass also pretty much vanishes on small speakers during the first "key change" section. I also still think that the crashes are a bit loud compared to how the rest of the drums are played. But this is also a stylistic choice. Once more, a night and day experience on small speakers vs low-end heavy headphones (where you "feel" the kick and the bass as the main grooving element - and the bass also doesn't vanish during the key changes).
Otherwise, you stayed true to your vision while still addressing small issues. And the the mix also translates (mostly) well to different playback mediums.
@KukoBass
Your final version is an improvement over the "General MIDI" sounding feeling. There are now more instruments (and drums!). However, it still feels like a 7-9 MIDI track production from one ROMpler (even though it isn't!), ran through a compressor that is biting down way too hard. Another thing to note, is that certain melody lines feel "sped up" in comparison to the rest of the arrangement (which feel sped down in places). And the mix feels a bit disjointed (instrument volumes). If this is due to AYAIC Mix Monolith, that is not really a good top seller argument for me. Maybe it's really helpful for initial ideas, but if this is the result, I wouldn't trust it in a mix. Additionally, I hear some sort of auto-gain happening throughout the song ever so often (turning down the drums).
Regarding your question how to separate the guitars and the central piano... two options really. EQ/Compression/Saturation (plus reverb for a different room placement) or different octaves to fill a different frequency spectrum.
This song has potential and could work in the context of the proposed video game. As mentioned several times, compeltely different listening experience on small speakers compared to studio headphones (I'm using 15+yo Beyerdynamic DT 990 PRO 250 Ohm ones myself). The stand-out topic is definitely mixing, and certain timing issues.
@Mellow Browne
Another track that sadly didn't see any further adjustments. I can't really add anything new to my initial feedback. I really hoped that you went back to address the loud drums and their room placement (especially for headphones) - maybe you just ran out of time.
It is still an interesting spin on the given premise. Some fine-tuning would have been nice to hear though.
@TrojakEW
Unfortunately, this entry didn't see fine-tuning either. It is still as impressive as the first couple of time's I've listened to it. Yet, it would have been great to hear a slightly updated mix with the things I've addressed. As in... the offset felt melody (2:02min mark), the balance with the percussion and foley work (so that it translates better on all playback mediums).
I also think that time management wasn't your best friend this month. That's day-to-day life, I'm afraid.
Closing things out...
Let me please make clear that you all did an amazing job. You stepped out of your comfort zone, created something, and showed it to the world. On that behalf, you all are winners. However, the July Songwriting Competition also simulated a "Commissional Work" scenario, on top of our regular game mechanics.
The "clients" decided on a selection of "modern" and "jazzy / funky" - even through they would also love to give everyone a chance, but a cut had to be done somewhere. Here is the "Top 5".
► Show Spoiler
01 - FixInTheMix
02 - juhu
03 - Doc Jon
04 - EsteveCorbera
05 - TrojakEW
Following this post will be the "results" announcement.
Thank you for your patience.