SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC087 November 2024 - Winners announced

[OlliH]

I felt the vocals didn't quite suit the rest of the music both in performance and mix

You're absolutely right, and I know very well that I can't sing. But I like making songs, and I need to somehow show to a potential singer how the melody goes. So I'm trying to make a "placeholder"-track for the singer that's not really meant to be in the finished product. If this were a "music production" competition, I definitely wouldn't include my voice. But as this is a "songwriting" competition, maybe I'm a little naive in thinking that I'm participating only with the melody, but not with my voice. (For the same reason, I very rarely comment on mixing-related matters.) Nevertheless, lately my voice has turned into such a miserable rasp that I've honestly considered participating in the future only if I'm in the mood to make an instrumental.

[PonySho]

I felt the vocals didn't quite suit the rest of the music both in performance and mix

You're absolutely right, and I know very well that I can't sing. But I like making songs, and I need to somehow show to a potential singer how the melody goes. So I'm trying to make a "placeholder"-track for the singer that's not really meant to be in the finished product. If this were a "music production" competition, I definitely wouldn't include my voice. But as this is a "songwriting" competition, maybe I'm a little naive in thinking that I'm participating only with the melody, but not with my voice. (For the same reason, I very rarely comment on mixing-related matters.) Nevertheless, lately my voice has turned into such a miserable rasp that I've honestly considered participating in the future only if I'm in the mood to make an instrumental.

@OlliH if you need a singer for your next challenge, I'd be happy do a collab with you and sing on one of your songs...that's assuming my vocal style fits your song.

[OlliH]

@OlliH if you need a singer for your next challenge, I'd be happy do a collab with you and sing on one of your songs...that's assuming my vocal style fits your song.

That's a very attractive and interesting offer, but there's one big problem: it would prevent you from participating with your own work in the same month, and I don't want that to happen.

[Elcubano]

This month, I've been testing the Modo Bass 2 plugin. It was a bit challenging to mix with guitar at first, but when used properly, I think it can sound very natural.
I also had fun experimenting with synth plugins like the Prophet, which is quite enjoyable to use, though it tends to generate a lot of bass.
For the saturated part, I didn’t aim for a typical metal riff. Instead, I focused on creating an ambient vibe with a layer of chords—modern metal-style chords on a 7-string guitar, avoiding power chords.
I used the same chord progression for both sections, with the lead introducing a key change in the second part. The guitar tone gives the impression of high gain, but there’s actually very little.
The tight grain of the saturation likely contributes to this impression, along with the use of low and high-cut filters. The goal was to achieve a saturated sound that isn’t too aggressive, and I think it worked well.
To replace vocals, I improvised a one-shot solo. I didn’t compose it intentionally, aiming for a more spontaneous feel, though the execution is far from perfect.

My feedback:

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A Future in Noise – Santa Clause
I noticed a clear evolution between the first mix and the second, with many improvements.
This track features a lot of arrangements and mixing work, including a great job on the reverbs and sounds that align well with the song’s theme.
Although I’m not a singer, I felt that at times the vocal placement could be more precise or fluid.
That said, I’m impressed by the effort put into the arrangements and mixing. bravo!

R0boooo – Gotta Go but 1st
Nice atmosphere; it feels a bit like a jam session between musicians.
The guitar tones sound fairly natural overall, though the execution could be improved.
I imagine it's not easy to emulate guitar-playing techniques with plugins, especially given the variety of effects in your track.
Some guitar parts end too abruptly and are played with uniform attacks.
There’s also some rhythmic percussion that doesn’t quite match the guitar playing.
Otherwise, I really enjoy the mood of the track. it’s quite nice.

EsteveCorbera – Relax't Viu El Moment
This composition creates a very relaxing atmosphere. The sounds are excellent and blend well together in the mix.
The guitar tones are good too, though it’s amusing to hear a guitar played more like a piano than by a guitarist.
Nevertheless, the relaxing effect is spot on—well done.

PonySho – Stringy
As always, your work is exceptionally well mixed, played, and sung.
Your sound is instantly recognizable, filled with intricate details in the mix, unique sounds, and highly original arrangement ideas.
I love the rhythm changes, off-beats, and inventive chord progressions. it’s very cool.
Each instrument is perfectly placed in the mix, creating an open and airy sound that recalls studio acoustics. I assume you’re using some IR reverb.
Bravo!

Mouse the Singer – Strings Attached
This track gives off a Pink Floyd vibe, with hints of Radiohead. It’s very beautiful and atmospheric.
I love the guitar tones and how well they combine with other instruments like the piano. The arrangement is excellent.
Your composition is beautiful, and your voice works wonderfully in this context. While there are occasional pitch issues, the overall atmosphere is captivating.

VCA-089 – Twilight Forest
Outstanding! It feels like being immersed in the atmosphere of early Cure albums.
All the sounds are excellent and perfectly mixed. The production is top-notch, with great bass and drum tones.
The balance between electronic sounds, guitars, and bass is remarkable.
This track is flawless and makes me want to listen to it again. We need the full album!

Paramnesia – Occams Krzr
This is very modern metal and right up my alley. I’m a big fan of bands like Meshuggah, Periphery, and others.
The intro is fantastic; I love the sounds you’ve used. The bass tone is excellent and sets a solid foundation for the rest of the track.
You’ve clearly mastered the genre. The rhythm guitar sounds superb, drop G tuning, I believe? Likely a baritone guitar or a 7/8-string.
The riffs are incredible, with hints of Fear Factory or Gojira in places.
The bass tone complements the rhythm guitar perfectly (I’ll have to try this plugin).
The only thing missing is vocals to add nuance to the track.
This is great composition! I’d love to know more about how you mixed the guitars. did you use a multiband compressor for the palm mutes, for example? I might need to check out Nolly’s tutorials too.

OlliH – Old Vinyl
Super original, as always! Your compositions consistently have a cinematic quality.
This one feels like stepping into O Brother, It’s incredibly well done.
The guitar sounds fantastic and is expertly played. The entire mix is cohesive, perfectly capturing the period feel.
An amazing composition. bravo!

my vote:

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1. PonySho - Stringy
2. Paramnesia - Occams Krzr
3. VCA-089 - Twilight Forest
4. OlliH - Old Vinyl
5. Mouse the Singer - Strings Attached

[PonySho]

@OlliH if you need a singer for your next challenge, I'd be happy do a collab with you and sing on one of your songs...that's assuming my vocal style fits your song.

That's a very attractive and interesting offer, but there's one big problem: it would prevent you from participating with your own work in the same month, and I don't want that to happen.

Well, I don't really care about not submitting a song - as long as I'm making music, I'm happy. The offer is there if you want it

[PonySho]

My Reflection

This month, my goal was just to write an indie rock/pop song. It's a style that I enjoy writing in, in all its variations. I like this style because it sounds less polished then modern pop, and to my ear, gives a more organic and energised vibe. However, I have still used a radio friendly structure because it has proved successful over decades for many/most listeners. For me, songwriting is mostly about drawing the listener in with a catchy melody.
I ended up writing three song-sketches for this challenge (my def. of a song-sketch is rough melody, structure and lyric combination). I had intended to sit this challenge out but I just can't help myself. Ideas flow, in the shower, driving to work, walking down the street. It's quite cathartic to get them - or at least one of them - out of my system.
One mix challenge member suggested that there was hidden inuendo in my lyrics. That's funny to me because I almost always weave this into my lyrics/story but this time there was none. Perhaps I'm working on autopilot without realising! Hah! This song had no hidden meanings in the lyrics and really was just a simple idea about a guy who was pinned to his 9-5 and couldn't spend time with the girl he liked, so he wrote her letters. And I wanted to use all stringed instruments, barring drums and vocals. That's it.
Another valid comment was about the chord progression being hard to decipher although the progressions flowed smoothly. The reason for this is most likely due to three reasons. Firstly, the songwriting process, where I focus on the melody and use chords as a way to support the melody. Secondly, my use of 'slash' chords where the bass is a different note to the chord's root note. Thirdly, sometimes I just try to create slightly odd progressions under the melody.
What did I learn for this challenge? I need to slow down at the mixing stage and not do it late at night. I mixed and uploaded this song in a hurry and after listening the next day, it made me suffer! So I had to remix it which put me under time pressure with other stuff I'm working on.
Anyway, I'm happy with the outcome and hope others enjoyed listening.
Next challenge, I'll write something more gentle, perhaps the in the style of Johnny Cash or Jeff Buckley. This will be another challenge as this is outside my sphere of experience.

Feedback
Again, this month has a smorgasbord of vibes and flavours. Such wonderful interpretations of such a simple brief. Thanks everyone. My feedback will focus on the songwriting and only touch on the mixing if I feel that the mix has in someway negatively or positively affected the delivery of the song. Please accept my apologies in advance if I offend with any of my comments - it's definitely not intended. It's just my opinion and opinions are a dime a dozen!

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A Future In Noise - Santa Clause
I feel that a lot of work has gone into this song. I appreciate the arrangement 'builds' that elevate the song's energy and interest. The horn sections give this song a BIG sound.
I appreciate the vocal harmonies. 2.07 made me sit up when the song hit the breaks, then it moved smoothly into a solo section. I think the progression works smoothly. Did you use pitch correction on the lead vocals? If so, it seemed to suck a little of the life out of the vocal for me. From experience, you can get great results by just tuning the sustained sections of the words and not pitching them perfectly. If not, then you have incredible pitch.

Elcubano - Storm's Solace
I'm repeating and embellishing my original feedback. The mix balance sounds great on my earbuds. And I think the thunder fx work - It drops me right into the middle of a storm, just like you said you had intended. I like the energy changes, like the drop at 1.20 that really opens up the song. It's gives the song a kind of a reset that lets you build it back up again, which you do at 2.04. Then the song moves to the major progression...kinda gives me the feeling that at that moment rays of sun beam through the stormclouds... a really great shift in the music. I think this is another stellar composition from you made even better with your great guitar playing skills. I REALLY like the 'smooth' tone to the distortion on the rhythm guitars. And yes, I do like the thunder at the end.

R0boooo - Gotta Go but 1st
At first I thought this was a basic phone recording with the sound of a door? and children's voices? in the background. The first thing that struck me was the mix volume raising and lowering, giving a push-pull sound to the song. I wasn't sure if this was an error but it sounded relatively musical to my ears. Is that cajon percussion? The song kind of meanders and doesn't anchor me with a solid melody, but I think that's OK for this style. It gives the listener an organic and unpredictable nature, as if the song has gone 'walkabout' to use an Australian term. The breaths were kinda cool as they just seemed to happen at the right moments. I also like the live vibe (vs overly structured compositions like I did). Nice work.

EsteveCorbera - Relaxa't I Viu El Moment
Your compositions have a signature style with their meditative and movie soundtrack nature, which I like. I feel you put a lot of effort into your compositions, which is obvious to me due to the many layers you've created. I can listen to your songs many times and hear new parts with each subsequent listen. I think the mix serves up your song well. I did notice some distortion coming through with some of the sounds around 4.15-ish but this may be intended saturation. I'm not a fan of the wind noise at the start and end - I would have liked this to sound more natural, but that's my only gripe. I enjoyed the track - thank you.

Mouse the Singer - Strings Attached
This song has a moody vibe that I really like. There's a nice tension that's created at the start, which resolves at 0.24 with the gently guitar arpeggio and vocals.
The progression is smooth and I like how the song builds with the strings that are gently introduced. At 2.06 the rhythm variation gives an appealing contrast.
Which artist, if any, was your inspiration for this song? Well done, BTW.


VCA-089 - Twilight Forest
The drums on this song are H-U-G-E! Looking back at your initial post it's clear you put a LOT into this composition. Nice to see you played 'real' bass on this and I think you've balanced this well in the mix. I really like how big the song gets at around 2.50 with all the layering. Great 80's vibe. The ending is great how the punch disappears as it morphs back into a reverby wash. Great work.

Paramnesia - Occams Krar
I'll be straight up and say that this is not my usual song listening preference. But, I think you've done a top job with the mix and all instruments are punchy and clear in the mix with great separation. I particularly like the beginning with its contrasting soft and sparse vibe which tansitions into heavy and dense. I would have liked to hear this intro part repeated in the song to give the overall production more contrast. Great work, love the energy!

OlliH - Old Vinyl
I don't really know what to say about this song. It had instant appeal to me even though I couldn't understand the words - thanks for posting the lyrics.
I could imagine the band playing in front of me. I just like the bouncy flow and the very musical live feel that you created here. The mix is great to my ears. Perhaps my only critique is that the vocals could have been slightly higher in the mix. Great that you've been able to resurrect these lyrics after so long. I think your drum programming is excellent because the rhythm sounds very natural - great choice of drum sounds.

Voting
It wasn't easy this month. There were three songs that I wanted to select as my number one.

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#1 OlliH - Old Vinyl
#2 Elcubano - Storm's Solace
#3 Mouse the Singer - Strings Attached
#4 Paramnesia - Occams Krar
#5 VCA-089 - Twilight Forest

[EsteveCorbera]

Good night,

As always, thank you all for participating and thank you Mister Fox for organizing this competition.
Thanks to everyone for the comments and votes you have given me so far.

First, congratulations to all of you for these good songs you have presented this month.
It is interesting to see how many of you have gone towards using heavy guitars. And a lot of noise!!
On a personal level, I have learned not to use guitars. One of my colleagues said it very well: It seems that the guitar is played with a piano, and that, deep down, is totally true. My intention is that next November I will use guitars a little more appropriately.

Thank you.

I leave you comments on your works:

A Future In Noise - SantaClause
Good song. Good treatment of the initial guitars. And very good vocal interpretation and the treatment you do by doubling the voices is also interesting. But perhaps there are times when these vocal changes distract attention from the song. I like the orchestral instruments you put in the background as accompaniment, they go really well.
A song that goes really well with this month's proposal.

Elcubano – Storm's Solace
Good guitar playing. It has a lot of strength. Maybe because I'm too noisy, I like the quiet parts more when the piano plays. But it's a good piece of work. It's a good piece of work, that's why it's hard for me to tell you something to improve. Maybe the kick that accompanies the first guitars sounds too present. In the other parts I don't think so, there it sounds more natural, that it's part of the song.

R0boooo - Gotta Go but 1st
Ommadawn by Mike Oldfield immediately came to mind. Then it changes style a bit, which I wouldn't know how to classify, but it's interesting. As I listen to it I find it very original, very different. It creates a strange feeling, not a bad one. The voices you put at the beginning and end I think are not very integrated into the song. And the percussion could perhaps have a little more reverberation. The vocal effects such as breathing are also very curious. Bravo, a very different and original proposal, I liked it.

PonySho - Stringy
I admire these songs where you twist all the real instruments. I would be incapable of it. It would be impossible for me, because I neither have real instruments nor do I have the means to record them, nor would I know how to sing. Therefore, I admire you for this initiative. As you say, it is a very energetic song. Maybe this is where I could tell you that it would have been good to put some quieter part to give the listener a break.

mouse the singer - Strings Attached
I also congratulate you for taking the initiative to sing your song. I wouldn't do it as well as you. Your song has a promising beginning. But when the voice enters, I find it too distant or muted. I think it lacks presence in the mix. I also hear a strange sound, like a kind of distorted delay, I don't know how to describe it better.

VCA-089 - TwilightForest
Sound that reminds me of the 80s, as you very well say. Good sound proposal, very well worked on, as always. But this time I had a hard time connecting with your song. I have a feeling of sound saturation, there are moments that sound many layers. I'm not saying it's badly done, but to me it feels like too many things at once. But don't worry, it's just my opinion.

Paramnesia - OccamsKrz
What power. When things get lively, they almost never stop. Good guitar playing (I guess, I don't understand it). But I have to tell you that I'm not used to hearing this type of music. For me there's too much noise. I need more quiet parts to be able to enjoy your song (it's just a personal opinion, I'm not an expert, so don't pay too much attention to me).
In terms of mixing, I think everything is too compressed, too loud. But I guess that's how it has to be in this type of music.
Personally, I would also add a little reverb to the drums to make them a little distant and integrated into the mix.

OlliH - OldVinyl
You always make nice suggestions. Just starting your song puts a smile on my face. This is an original proposal of Western and Rockabilly. Very enjoyable. There are few things I can say to improve, since you surpass me at least 3 times in experience.
I don't think you sing badly at all. But maybe I think so because I've heard you do it many times. Good work

Ike_H-mope – Waiting in the Yard
A different suggestion. I don't think I'm ready to comment on your song correctly.
For me, there are vocal parts that are not in scale and the sound of the guitars also seems dissonant. But, as I told you, I guess it's me who doesn't know and doesn't know enough music to appreciate it.
You have to forgive me.


(translated with google, sorry for the imperfections that the translation may contain)

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01 R0boooo - Gotta Go but 1st
02 OlliH - OldVinyl
03 A Future In Noise - SantaClause
04 mouse the singer - Strings Attached
05 Elcubano – Storm’s Solace

[mouse the singer]

Hello, thanks to Mister Fox for putting on this contest. what a fun idea.

it has been great to spend some time with all of your songs and thank you all for the kind words and helpful feedback.

i did absolutely learn that if i do another singing song that i need more time with it. that could lead to the singing being more confidant and dynamic. (which might also keep me from trying to bury it in efx)

here go me thoughts:

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A Future in Noise - Santa Clause

to me, this sounds like a fun late 80's early 90's college rock,(somwhere like a "they might be giants" track) with a hilarious middle 8th.(elightenment)
perhaps the horns could to be brighter, just to lift out of the background a bit?
otherwise a fun well sung epic song with a perfect choice of instruments for the grand finale



Elcubano - Storm's Solace

i think this begins with a fantastically ominous intro. love the undistorted guitar spacing and the sound of the analogue synth line. overall a good atmospheric track with nice shifts in the song (as the storm passes)


ROboooo - Gotta Go but 1st

i love that right away, i'm not sure where this song will go. the audio collapse (down strike?) at 0:23 is such a cool transition. You have created a terribly inviting sonic world. there's a thinness to the slide guitar that works. everything so delicate. everything passing formless like clouds


EsteveCorber - Rlaxa't|Viu El Moment

i think this a well structured gentle track with a lovely dulcimer(?) and fantastic stereo spacing of all the insrtuments. the ducking effect feels like a breath in breath out kind of peace
i might have enjoyed a longer pause (some reverb tail) after the "phaser moments", but not sure.

PonySho - Stringy

i love this fun, high energy song. firmly dancing about in the pop punk atmosphere. there is such a great high polish on everything. the playful repeats of words in the verses are perfect.


VCA-089 - Twilight Forest

i am now entrenched in some 80's blissing with all sounds as they should be. i feel like i should be watching rob lowe in a mullet contemplating something deep. love the layering of the tracks and the fadeout with the vocals (synth vox?)
somehow the distorted guitar sounds a bit distant to me....prob just my ears cause i didn't notice it on speakers.


Paramnesia - Occams Krzr

i love that the song puts you right into it and the intro is great with all tones perfect. i also enjoyed the double pedal for the bass drum. the section that starts at 2:50 is some fine dirge lovelyness (in the pit!)
it may have, for me, too many unconnected themes which makes it easy for me to get lost listening

OlliH - Old Vinyl

oh yes, perfect tone, everything hits the right spot! i can hear the dust on the guitars and the strain in the voice compliments it perfectly.
i love this track.

Ike H-mope - Waiting in the Yard

i thought this had impressive singing with a cool vocal effect. i enjoyed the early resolved chords that fall away to dissonence.

here are my rankings:

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PonySho - Stringy *(1)
ROboooo - Gotta Go but 1st *(2)
OlliH - Old Vinyl *(3)
EsteveCorber - Rlaxa't|Viu El Moment *(4)
VCA-089 - Twilight Forest *(5)

thanks

[mouse the singer]

Mouse the Singer - Strings Attached
This song has a moody vibe that I really like. There's a nice tension that's created at the start, which resolves at 0.24 with the gently guitar arpeggio and vocals.
The progression is smooth and I like how the song builds with the strings that are gently introduced. At 2.06 the rhythm variation gives an appealing contrast.
Which artist, if any, was your inspiration for this song? Well done, BTW.

Thank you! Nothing was present in my mind when i started writing it, other then wanting to try to come up with the vocal melody on piano to match the lyrics. the rest of the song relied on my comfort places musically... so as referenced by Elcubano, radiohead and pink floyd... yes.
though i have been listening to maria bc quite a bit recently.

[Mister Fox]

I would kindly like to ask @R0boooo to please stick to the established Rules and Guidelines for the feedback process.

There is currently no vote available. Please edit your post until the deadline has been reached.
I really do not want to place anyone out of the game.

Thank you.