SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC088 December 2024 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

[Mister Fox]

@Mister Fox thanks again for your work here and my apologies for leaving the challenge at this late stage.

Kindly check Discord, please and send me an answer in a timely fashion.



To everyone about to post feedback and a vote, please be patient to at least 20:00 UTC+1/CET to get this sorted out. I will update the thread how to go from there.

[Mister Fox]

A quick update:

The entry by @PonySho has been moved to the "Withdrawn" section.
Please feel free to give feedback, but you sadly can not vote for this entry anymore.


Please remember:
The deadline for the feedback and voting process has been extended by 02 days to 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET. As of this moment, that is a bit more than 08 days left. So far we have feedback by 02 participants.

[BenjiRage]

Hi All

I hope you've been having a peaceful and happy Christmas.

Here's my feedback for everyone (including the withdrawn and bonus entries):

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@Daesin - "Night Peace"

An interesting composition alternating free-flowing and energetic sections with more peaceful and reflective lulls. For me the energetic sections with the strings are a bit too discordant and jumbled, the piano notes sound like they're mushed together such that they don't have any attack and they almost become strings themselves (this is more a production thing though and could be improved with some gentle compression and/or EQ to enhance the attack). A lovely ending though with gentle strings.


@JeroenZuiderwijk - "A Journey"

This has quite a cool and memorable lead synth line, I found myself recalling it quite easily after just a couple of listens. The piano though is a bit discordant and clashy, and it could also be a bit louder against the main synth - it feels like these two are jostling for attention when they both play at similar volume.

There doesn't seem to be any crash cymbals in the drum track, which means the sections aren't punctuated quite as well as they could be - just adding a few would immediately make the song structurally more defined. Also, from a production point of view I think the kick could do with more low end and the snare is perhaps a little bit loud with its regular beat for the chosen genre.

I love your guitar solo! This adds a whole new dimension to the song. You're such an ace guitarist I would have loved to hear more of your guitar lines in this.


@Ike H-mope - "Stars"

An interesting harmonic movement in this song, quite original and refreshingly different. Mix-wise the instruments and vocals sound like they have been compressed too much for such a simple arrangement - as a consequence it's spoiled the intimate nature somewhat and it feels too "in-your-face" with a loss of dynamics. I think the song would benefit from either a longer reverb decay or not having any reverb at all. At the moment with such a short decay it sounds really roomy and boxy, which I feel detracts from the emotion of the material.


@Elcubano - "The Comet"

Wow, lovely wide and spacious guitars! My initial impression was that there is quite a big hole in the mid-range of the frequency spectrum and it feels like it needs a pad or other instrument filling it, but then again this is an excellent way to convey...space! I really like the stripped-back middle section with the drums and bass dropping out leaving just the clean guitars. All the sections of the song transition nicely together with well thought out variation. It feels like it ends just a bit abruptly during the guitar solo; perhaps stripping back again and returning to the themes presented in the intro would have made it just that bit more cohesive and brought it back around. Great guitar work though.


@EsteveCorbera - "L'Exploracio Del Cosmos"

Very well chosen sound-palette, it cries out space. Excellent use of timpani hits and rolls combined with arpeggiated synths and staccato patterns to keep the track moving. The mix has few harsh high frequencies in the arpeggiated synths and cymbals - you could EQ these out or look at investing in a copy of Oeksound Soothe2 or a similar plugin, which will sort these out in a heartbeat (or I believe Spectral Shaper in Ozone 9, which you have, could help too). Perhaps just a little bit long, ending at 5:51 would have been perfect. Overall though a wonderful, fitting tribute to Vangelis, great work.


@Paramnesia - "Space"

The vocals are very organic and human, which I love, although at times they're a little ahead of or behind the beat which loosens the song when you really want it nice and tight for this genre. They are hard to hear in places too, especially in the verses and could definitely be a bit louder, which would help this greatly. The rest of the mix is pretty good. The stripped-back interludes between chorus and verse are great and I really like the vocal aahs and the building pad around 2:20 before the final chorus hits.


@becsei_gyorgy - "Timeless Space"

Ooh very spacey and 80s, I love it! A strong arrangement and great lyrics too, nice work. It sounds like you've done some good mix work with the Hayden vocals - I've always found this voice to be really lispy ("space" would sound like "thpathe") so I've steered away from it, but it sounds like you've managed to tame this and it's not as pronounced. A big thing for me here though (more production than song writing) is that most of the vocal phrases after the first verse and chorus sound like they've been nudged an 8th note behind where they should be, like they're coming in too late, which makes them feel really disjointed and spoils the enjoyment of the song a little bit.


@Koekepan - "As The Air Runs Out"

A very conceptual composition with a strong depth of thought behind it. There are some wonderful ambient sounds and an emotional harmonic movement that conveys feelings of sadness, fear and inner reflection that a person might experience facing the end on a failing spacecraft.

Production wise, the lead glock line in the centre of the first movement seems too loud to me and therefore lacks cohesion with the ambience. Also, for me it's a very long piece that doesn't really contain anything that catches my ear and makes me want to hear it again, so unfortunately it doesn't really hold my attention to the end; after five minutes my mind is wandering and with the lead synth line around 5:20 being far too loud, the mood is spoilt somewhat.

Nevertheless, as always I'm impressed with your skills as a composer and with the way you primarily use hardware for your productions.


@Vanilla Puff - "Purple World"

It's nice, but feels like incidental music that I might hear in a television show montage for instance; it's lacking the strong melodic content that would ordinarily hold my attention and make me want to listen over again. Mix wise though, it seems very good; tons of bass, but maybe a tad distorted in places - I quite can't tell if this is intentional or the limiter being pushed too hard.


@ThomC - "Out of Space"

It sounds like a one-take performance of the piano that you've played, really organic and lovely (perhaps a tad boxy but I can forgive this as it's so natural). The build up of the strings is fantastic and the emotion grows proportionally. Short and sweet, but I would have loved to hear it extended further.



Bonus Feedback
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@DavidB - "The Probe"

This sounds like a very competent production and a great mix, very spacey and lots of depth. I love the piano that's sprinkled throughout with various FX but there's not a lot of other melodic content; maybe for the genre though there isn't supposed to be, I don't know as it's not one I would normally listen to. It's a shame we can't vote for this track, as it would probably be in my top 5.


@PonySho - "Space"

Perhaps not space-themed in the sense of the sound, but I don't think this detracts in anyway from it being a great song and the fact the lyrics are based around an alternative interpretation of the word "space" makes it all the more impressive to me, so nice work there. Again it's a shame we're not able to vote for this song, as it'd be in my Top 5. You're clearly a gifted songwriter and musician, and the fact you've managed to bash out a song of this quality AND also record it, all in a couple of hours is amazing!

My top 5 this month are:

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1. EsteveCorbera
2. Elcubano
3. ThomC
4. Paramnesia
5. Becsei_gyorgy

My takeaways from this month's competition:

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I'm a bit disappointed in myself that I didn't manage to get my track totally finished this month, as once again I found myself to be like George Lucas - the eternal tinkerer! I kept tweaking sounds and adjusting levels minutely in pursuit of the distorted view of perfection my mind holds! In the end I arrived at something I was at least happy with and felt ok about, but I wish I could just get past that need to chase perfection, as it would speed up my song writing immensely.

Perhaps also I need to focus more on the musical elements as opposed to the production; I've realised the bulk of my feedback comments relate to elements of the mix rather than the music. This is something I naturally gravitate towards having studied it, but I'm acutely aware I need to shift my focus somewhat.

Best regards,

Benji

[Dasein]

Hi everyone, here comes my feedback. I would like to remark that these are my impressions and feelings as I was listening to, so I'm sorry in advance if I'm too harsh or direct.

Feedback

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JeroenZuiderwijk
Mmmm...interesting beats, ascending Intro, several layers to deliver different emotions. Excellent work there. Percussion loops. interesting anyways. European House Electro Style. Well mixed. Oh, wonderful guitar at 2:26. Definitely could have come in earlier. The Ending is a little bit too abrupt.

4/5


Ike H-mope
Amazing strings and Transitions. Perfect voice, I felt in love with her, but I suspect that is AI, so I will not fall this time. Give her my number. No, wait...
The overall concept is spectacular and the voice just contrasts with the bass brilliantly.
Excellent change of pace at 2:05. It's hard for me to think how this song could get any better. Maybe percussion? In order to mark the tempo of the vocals? Also, perhaps a piano accompaniment to create a ‘double voice’ effect at times? I don't know. Amazing job!

4.5/5

Elcubano
As always the layering and the use of instruments is perfect, in that sense I have nothing to criticize. However, the same thing happens to me as with the previous production to which I gave you feedback. You use a lot of loops, with different instruments, tempos and octaves, but still loops. And it happens to me that, if I didn't know specifically that the theme is Space and I hadn't read your intro, it would just be a generic Rock song for me and that's it. And I think that's an aspect to improve.

3/5


EsteveCorbera
Well, excellent start and very professional. Unfortunately this is just the typical song shown in cartoons when someone explores space (I wasn't able tofind the name xd) just with other notes and arrangements. Anyway, beautiful effects, you certainly know how to work with space effects.

Notwithstanding, the arrangements are great though and well continued. Definitely one I'd listen to for a relaxing summer evening.

3.5/5

Paramnesia
Excellent use of strings here. Mmmm beautiful contrast to a heavier piece. Definitely a song I would listen to in a concert. The only thing I could criticize is that the song doesn't define itself, it doesn't say: Hi, this is me. Is it Folk Metal? Is it Power? Is it Alternative Metal? No idea. It doesn't follow a continuous line, and in consequence, it just turns into a generic metal/rock song. Would I listen to this song? Yes. Would I give it a like? Yes. Would I add it to a playlist? No.

3.5/5


becsei-giorgi
Mmmm, very good there, you really know how to mix the voice with the effects. Excellent progression. Nice silences without vocals. However from 1:25 to 2:08 I would have given a bit more intensity to the vocals and subsequently the song itself. By keeping the intensity, the song feels a bit flat (between that timestamp). However from 2:08 to 3:02, very good job there. At 3:02 I would have avoided repeating something you had already done in the song, but after this repetition the song is again very good. However, at the end I would have chosen to raise the vocal an octave and then close the song, instead of just closing it. That's my feedback, I hope it helps.

4.6/5

Benjirage
Great creation. Rock/Pop styled. Nice transitions and the vocals accompany the song perfectly. The lyrics are great. Maybe the song is a bit too short. Nevertheless, good.

4/5

Koekepan
Ok, sound effects, a piano... a lullaby. Yes, it definitely sounds like a lullaby. Ok, I still hear a lullaby. Okay, I'm at 3:50. Effects with too much reverb. Then another instrument comes in, interesting though. At least it fulfils the task.

Well, honestly there was no need for the song to be 9 minutes long, unless the idea was to be the background of some indie game, otherwise the whole thing could have been synthesized in less than 3 minutes.

2.1/5


Vanilla Puff
Mmmm, different vibes here. Hello? Bruno Mars? (Mars, did you get it? u.u) Is that you Justin Timberlake?. Really god job there. Maybe a voice would have given a different level (Maybe a collaboration with someone in the future?). But the Melody is just perfect.

4.1/5

ThomC
Great Piano and violin arrangement. Excellent note breaks. There's no doubt that it's a song inspired by the firmament. Good work there. The only thing I would have maybe implemented is to handle the silences better, give the listener the feeling of emptiness in the middle of space in some parts of the song. Anyway, excellent song.

4.5/5

My Top 5

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1. becsei-giorgi
2. Ike H-mope
3. ThomC
4. Vanilla Puff
5. JeroenZuiderwijk

This month's reflection

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Well, this month I noticed that I know very little about edition. It was hard to me to notice that the song sounded dry. To fix this I experimented with the MIDI Pedals on the Strings and a little bit on the Piano. I think that this improved the song considerably, but still the piano doesn't convince me.

I'm sorry, but when you tell me that I have to "compress" or do a "ducked reverb" I feel like that you are talking to me in Chinese haha. Additionaly, I'm trying to play with Reverb, Release and Delay. However, I don't quite understand how Delay works, so It's gonna take time.

I'm also aware that the piano sounds a little bit mushy and unlive (dead?), so I'm testing and testing in order to make it more "live-feeling" or "arranged", but that's gonna take time.

Finally, I have to say that I'm very thankful for your feedback and I'm looking forward to read the rest of your comments.

[Paramnesia]

Alright finally got a chance to sit down and give everyone's tracks a fair listen. Quite a lot of varience in the writing styles here its really cool to see the directions everyone went on just from viewing that picture.

Here is my feedback for everyone, some got more than others if you want anything more specific please feel free to ask I love to talk music! I would also like to mention that I really do count production as part of the song for better or worse, some people like to overlook it and focus more on the writing but I think its just another part of the whole process so keep that in mind as well!

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Dasein – Night Peace
Your string arrangements and orchestration is beautiful, it is so beautiful early on and then has such an intense moment around the 1:20 minute mark. The piano moments are interesting as well and I feel they could accent but the sound of the instrument used feels like it was just pasted on top of another song and not like it’s part of it. I feel like you are also playing in mostly one range of the piano rather than exploring across all the notes on the instrument. I would love to hear this piece with some notes shifted around and with the piano blended into the orchestral section to make it feel like it was all performed in one place together. My immediate suggestion is lower the piano volume and definitely add reverb to it OR cut the reverb on the orchestral section and run it all through a concert hall reverb to give it some more connection.

Jeroen Zuiderwijk – A Journey
This track… its almost unfair really you managed to trigger some major nostalgia for me. One of my favorite games from my childhood called Star Control 2 has some absolutely incredible music in it and this track feels like it could be right there along with it all. It gives me the same vibe as the game, travelling the stars exploring trying to save humanity from a looming evil. Great track, interesting layers I love this… I think I could have done without the guitar solo personally not that it was bad but felt a bit too out in left field would have enjoyed some more synth work.

Ike H-mope – Stars
I enjoyed the strings and would have loved to see what you could have done with them if you had added more layers of instrumentation. Unfortunately I really do not enjoy the vocals and don’t feel like they added to the song. The performance feels too powerful the entire time and they really could have used more dynamics, and they were mixed a bit too loud in the track. To me this song feels extremely empty which could work with the theme but the vocals just feel flat instead of adding to it. I think you could really benefit from experimenting with some more layers in this track and bringing the vocals down a bit, maybe getting the performance to flow a bit more with the writing too.

Elcubano67 – The Comet
What a treat to the ears, really interesting sounds on the guitars nice glassy cleans and some funky lead work with some great expression. I think the cymbals on the drums are a bit harsh and maybe too loud. Would have enjoyed the bass being a bit more forward too I think some work could be done with the balancing here to really make this song shine. Great songwriting sounds like you really had fun with this one.

EsteveCorbera – L'Exploracio del Cosmos
This track definitely has an epic and grandeur vibe to it. Definitely encapsulating the vast emptiness of space with a hint of exploration I would have loved to see this track explore other sections however. It repeats the main theme quite a lot and could really stand to have some change ups to it. The top end of the entire track is also just a bit sharop/harsh as well I think it could use with a LPF on a lot of the synth and cymbals. All that being said though it has some really cool sounds throughout it you defintely know how to great a soundscape.

becsei_gyorgy – Timeless Space
An interesting track, I can’t deny that it’s a well written track I feel like it’s a great ending track for a movie or something. For me it’s just a bit flat I would have loved a bit more excitement in the song from time to time. The vocals sound a bit bright to me as well it’s a little distracting from the rest of the track. I will admit that this sort of music a bit on the softer side and the 80’s sounding drums really just isn’t for me so keep doing your thing it’s definitely well-constructed though maybe experiment a bit with your vocals try making them a bit darker on the high end perhaps?

BenjiRage – Overworld
This song was a lot of fun I loved the layers. The vocals really felt like they fit in the song great use of delay and reverb and the radio effect on the call and answer section was perfect. The little melody just before the chorus was excellent I really enjoyed this track my only complaint is it’s a little short would have loved it to go on a little longer!

Koekepan – As The Air Runs Out
Very interesting piece one of those tracks you need to sit down and really let it wash over you. Really cool ambience for the first 2 minutes however the bells you used don’t feel like they fit with the rest of the song very dry and in your face in comparison, could have used some reverb for sure, maybe a bit less volume and some eq work a bit too perhaps. The synth that starts up around 4 minutes in feels like it fits the vibe a lot more however it’s a bit on the loud side as well but some really cool sounding stuff I would love to know what you used to get this sound. A very interesting piece for sure I would love to listen to this again with some volume balancing just to get lost in it a bit more.

Vanilla Puff – Purple World
Get a bit of a Super Nintendo Mario World and Mario Cart vibe happening here and there around the song. Feels like there is a build-up somewhere in the bass that sort of overshadows the overtones and harmonics that I would have loved to hear more of very noticeable in the intro section of the song. Some of those synth tracks a bit harsh too could have used a bit of rounding off on the high end still a really interesting track had fun with the journey this one took me on.

ThomC – Out of Space
A very slow start and right around the minute mark I was starting to get a bit bored. However you got me with the violin. That sound is incredible and the rest of the instrumentals accompany it perfectly I wish you either got to it sooner or could add a bit more to the first minute to make it a bit more interesting to get there but once you do, you nailed it.

My top 5 for this contest are:

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1. BenjiRage – Overworld
2. Jeroen Zuiderwijk – A Journey
3. Elcubano67 – The Comet
4. Vanilla Puff – Purple World
5. ThomC – Out of Space

My thoughts for this contest:

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This was a really exciting track to work on for me. Since I have joined this site I received some feedback about my mixes being overcompressed and I really experiemented with trying to dial that back a lot however I've come to the conclusion that it's just the nature of the music that I write and will just embrace that sound. I'm really not a fan of the super uncompressed very transient sound but it was really interesting to explore that and I definitely learned a lot about the work my compressors and mix busses are doing.

The real reason this was so exciting was I got to mix something with vocals. PonySho sent me some really excellently recorded tracks and I had a really good time trying to get everything to fit together. It was surprisingly a lot more difficult than I thought to get the guitar layers to fit nicely with the vocals and I don't think I quite nailed it in this mix I will be going back to this song and spending some time on it trying to get everything to fit together a bit better and have certain moments really come forward. I was disappointed in not getting the glitch effect on the guitars right before the last chorus to pop out more.

It's definitely tough to get something like this completed in the time window we have, from initial writing to working with PonySho on the structure (which after some other feedback I received I think the song lacked a climax and I should have added something just before the clean part leading into the last chorus to really push the song to a new level), to sitting down and getting all the parts recorded and figuring out the drums and bass, then adding in the leads and synth, getting PonySho a track to start laying down vocals, then once I received that sitting down with the whole thing and trying to make it all fit together and then retracking my rhythm guitars because of phase issues with the quad tracking.

Time constraints are good though and yet again there was plenty to learn from this experience I am one step closer to my goal of being able to mix music in this style indepentantly.

Thanks for everyone who took the time to listen to my track and for your feedback it helps me look at things in a different light and improve. Goodluck to everyone!

[Ike H-mope]

REFLECTIONS

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I had my idea very quickly based on the main image, and as I said in my submission post, I was bit literal in focusing on the couple and their experience, not really the experience of space itself.

After hearing other people's submissions, and the feedback I received on mine, it's interesting how much a good "song" is judged by the production, not just the song itself. I'm huge fan of studio as an instrument, and for electronica and cinematic music production is as integral as the parts themselves. But, still, sometimes the song needs to come first, and then there are tons of ways to produce it.

Also, based on some feedback, want to clarify I used Viola da Gambas, not cellos. They're the pre-cursors to cellos. They're fretted and tuned like guitars (with six strings). They're known for having a rougher, scratchier sound, are not as dynamic and expressive as cellos, and are traditionally played without vibrato.

FEEDBACK

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Dasein - Night Peace

It was nice to relisten to this piece. I think the parts and arranging are done well. Good sounds for the synths and other instruments. The intimate production is very nice, but have to say my ears keep wanting to hear a much bigger, cinematic sound. Would be about a much bigger soundstage, not just with reverb, but the eq/spatial positioning/width of the various instruments. Final violin part is really nice.

Jeroen - A Journey

Very catchy and well-produced, very professional. On a production level, I find something fatiguing about the overall spread, and about the width of the high hats. it's all very smooth and polished, even "warm" considering it's electronic, but maybe there's too much space around the instruments? Maybe it needs a bit more gluing of sounds? Regardless, a well done piece.

Ike H-Mope - Stars

I like how languid this piece is, and the contrast of the roughness of the Viola da Gambas compared to the gentleness of the song. I'd like to hear real people perform this, because it sounds a bit lost between a folksy Americana song and maybe a classical singer doing an encore with a broadway pop tune. Sounds like you were going more for the Americana angle.

I like that the reverb is primarily just to add depth and dimension, but agree with the people saying there's a problem with the lower mids, probably should have did an eq cut or something on the 2mix itself.

Elcubano - The Comet

This is great. The only things I can comment on is the bass is a bit too deep and almost unbalanced to me. I'm listening on a pair of Mackie HR824, which I've been using for years. If I got this to master back in the day when i did that work, I'd definitely have a conversation about maybe de-enphasing some of the low end in the center channel, or even remixing with the bass made a bit more focused. But whatever, just getting very picky because I can't find anything else to suggest.

EsteveCorbera - L'Exploracio Del Cosmos"

Very lush. Production is dead on, very deep, very warm, bass sits like a black hole in the center (that's good thing even if it's oddly worded...). I wish there were more instruments placed in specific places instead of most sounds being full stereo width. But, you're really good with adding motion to the sounds, so it works.

Paramnesia - Space

Really like this. Another entry where I don't have anything to say, but in a good way. I like the bell-like "tinkling" (sorry, I hate that word, not sure what else to use) that you add during quiet times. Love the power of the full band. Maybe find a less obvious sounding synth pad around 2:10? but whatever, overall the pads are well done and add to the tune.

bescai_gyorgy - Timeless Space

This works well. I think it's a great example of a fully electronic production where the parts meld together, it's clear but, in a good way, not "hi fi". Has a bit of grit to the production. Not the kind of song I normally listen to, but kept me engaged start to finish. The form and arrangement are done well. Only criticism is maybe the voice needs to be a notch more in the mix, feels a bit too much "on top" of it instead of "in" it. Sounds good.

Benji Rage - Overworld

Very catchy. This is clearly a professional, fully realized song, so not sure I have much to say. It sounds over compressed to me. That's an odd critique of this type of synth pop, still, feels like the pulsing bass and kick needs to open up more. Like, maybe quieter but with more dynamics, instead of so perfectly in the pocket. I admire it's only 2.5 minutes. Leave 'em wanting a little more, always a good thing.

Koekepan - As the Air Runs Out

I like the long-form approach to this piece, and it's keeps me listening. I like the parts, the sparsity, and you do a really good job of "counterpoint" between the parts. I think that's a big part of why it works as a 9 minute piece. I usually don't like production for the sake of production, but I think this piece would benefit from a more cinematic production, and better placement of parts in the front/back field. For example, I really like the synth solo around 5-6 minutes, but it feels too dry, like it's not in the mix. Musically this is really well done.

VanillaPuff - PurpleWorld

Very catchy, very full, warm production. Listening on my studio monitors that I'm very familiar with, I think the bass and drums are too forward. They're really good parts, and I really like the interplay of synths. But, the kick and bass are just loud enough to me that it sounds like they're the tune, and the high hats, etc., are "around" it. I understand there's an stylistic/genre thing involved. I think it's good as a 3 minute tune, but with the raw material, you could shake things up more and go longer. Your interweaved-synth-breaks could become a whole section in itself if you went further with the syncopation and interplay.

ThomC - Out of Space

Very languid and simple (in a good way). Nice melody. I like the hammer sounds on the piano, but I feel like it's a little lost either not being lo-fi enough, or not sounding more realistic, especially since the violin is so realistic.

PonySho - Space

Very nice song. I like your voice (or whoever sang it). Would be in my top 5 if you were in the voting...

I like the songwriting, the melody, the performance, the arranging. Ultimately, the most important part.

The individual parts all sound well recorded (or sampled). I don't know how "final" this mix is, but it sounds more like a draft than a finished mix. I like the intimacy, but the parts need more glue, like maybe a subtle saturation on some busses, or maybe more interactive compression. Also sounds like too much "proximity" efffect on the vox and bass. Whatever. It's a good song and I still like listening to it.

VOTES

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In no order:

Elcubano - The Comet
bescai_gyorgy - Timeless Space
Paramnesia - Space
ThomC - Out of Space
Benji Rage - Overworld

(Honorary - PonySho - Space)

[EsteveCorbera]

Good night,

As always, thank you all for participating and thank you Mister Fox for organizing this competition.
Thanks to everyone for the comments and votes made so far.

Congratulations on the good songs you have presented this month.
On a personal level, I have learned that consistency pays off. I started my song without a specific direction and as I worked on it, I was able to better define the lines of my song. I am also happy to have used the breaks to break up the monotony and to use layers with different sounds sporadically. That is, there are sounds that come in and out without having to have them active until the end. As a detail, I also want to highlight that it was the first time I have automated the DAW Tempo to slow down the end of the song. It is always good to experiment to learn new things.

Thank you.

I leave you comments on your works:

Dasein – Night Peace
Exciting song. I really like this combination between piano, cello and orchestra. There are many melodic ideas in your song.
Things to improve, the orchestra sounds a little unrealistic. Maybe you could play with extending the ‘releases’ to lengthen the notes and improve the expression. The piano sounds too much the same, maybe you could play with modifying the speed of the notes a little more.
Despite all this, your song conveys a lot of passion. It could be a great love song to accompany some images.

JeroenZuiderwijk – A Journey
Frankly interesting work. You really managed to make something simple, as you say, not boring at all. I really like when the guitar comes in at the end. Good idea!
Maybe you overused the delays and at some moments the reverberation. There are moments when the tail of the reverb sounds too much and, on the other hand, I would have added more reverberation to the drums or rhythms.

Ike_H-mope – Stars
Good use of the Synthesizer V for the voices. At first I thought they were real.
The choice of string instrument is curious. The works performed by Jordi Savall came to mind. The sound of the Viola de Gamba is very harsh. I am not used to hearing this instrument. Personal opinion, I would have liked the song better with a cello, it would be easier to listen to.

Elcubano – The Comet 07
Very original song. I don't know the Captain Future series but the jazzy treatment you propose is very far from what I would imagine for space, but I don't want to say that it can't be used. It's just a personal comment.
I like the initial sound effects with the guitar similar to delay, they are effects that remind me of science fiction movies. Very good.
The song is also very good.
As a comment, maybe you put too much reverb in the middle part that masks the mix a bit.

Paramnesia – Space
I like the quiet guitars with delay at the beginning. But I wasn't expecting the explosion that followed. It broke all my expectations and surprised me. You really nailed the comment that you say that unexpected surprises can be found in space.
I think it's a good work, with good vocal performance and the sound of the metal guitars is very well done.
As a comment, there are moments with a too long reverb tail.

becsei_gyorgy – Timeless Space
As always, a very good work. Good voices and very good all the instruments you put behind it.
I love the sound of the 80s and you nailed it very well. Good lyrics.
Good mix.
I couldn't tell you things to improve.

BenjiRage - Overworld
What a great song with good use of the voices. The man from Synth V should sponsor this challenge . I could almost tell you the same thing I told the previous colleague. Good song and good use of instruments reminiscent of the 80s. Very good work.
I wouldn't know what to say to improve either, everything seems very good to me.

Koekepan - AstheAirRunsOut
I like the idea that you draw with these experimental sounds throughout your song. Very interesting song because it is very original. I like all the details you give in the description of the song entry.
I choose your song with my eyes closed and I find the development it has great.
Perhaps, as an improvement or comment, I would say that the sound of the bell (electric piano I suppose) is a little too hard, too close, too prominent. But it is just a personal opinion.

VanillaPuff – PurpleWorld
Different song. Good bass that gives the song rhythm. Good play with the sounds of the synthesizers that fluctuate here and there. It has just the right length to make the song interesting without getting tiring.
Good mix and with good details in terms of sound effects.

ThomC – Out of Space
What beauty. What magic your song has. I'm surprised because your song has reached my heart.
I really like the piano, the voice that is there almost imperceptibly, the strings. What sensitivity with which your song is developed. I take my hat off to you.

PonySho - Space
Good song. Good guitars and good vocal performance.
Too bad you had to leave because your work was very good.
As a comment I would say that I find the lead vocals and guitars too dry. Maybe a little more reverb would improve things even more.

DavidB - The Probe
Good presentation. I really like the initial sound environment. Good job of creating sound layers with a good mix. Reminds me of current works by Jean-Michel Jarre.


(translated with google, sorry for the imperfections that the translation may contain)

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01 ThomC – Out of Space
02 BenjiRage - Overworld
03 becsei_gyorgy – Timeless Space
04 Koekepan - AstheAirRunsOut
05 Dasein – Night Peace

[JeroenZuiderwijk]

Many great songs this month again. Thank you mr Fox for organizing this SWC!

My personal reflections this month:

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I like the human element in music. Nowadays you’ve got artificial drums, bass, guitar, keyboards, piano, whole orchestra…and now also very convincing vocals. It sounds fantastic but I constantly feel like i am missing something….something real. To feel inspired and being impressed about the emotion someone is bringing with his or her vocal. The same goes for my own music. It is so easy to write music on the computer but so hard to make it feel organic sounding like a band playing .It is then I realize that I am a musician that is used to play live, to write songs on guitar, sing, find a good drummer, bass player etc and play together. This SWC I was pleasently surprised that there was a collaboration between Paramnesia and PonySho with real vocals and guitars. That imediately got my attention. And then PonySho also uploaded his accoustic track with vocal. …wow! The thing is, although the production is not as smooth and polished as other tracks that really doesn’t matter to me. It sounds real….Personaly I rather have a live song recorded with a crappy tape machine with one mic then a full blown production with artificial instruments non played live. It brings me back to the days when I started writing music when all that matters was the song…..and the performence. We didn’t have multitrackers etc, we where lucky if we had a few mics to record something in a cheap mixer to a tape machine. So maybe my lesson this month is that I would like to focus more on finding my inspiration again in writing music realtime, live, guitar, vocal, less computer orientated. Who knows…I might come up with something diferrent next month. I am not saying that I dislike the songs with only computerbased music...as you can tell from the feedback I give.

My feedback:

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Dasein
I like the simplicity of the pianopart, it gives room to the other elements…the strings play the important part in my opinion. There is lots of dynamics in the arrangement, it creates a motion / flow through the song. That makes it really easy to listen to. The uptempo piano at around 3 minutes makes for a good climax….I like how you take the listener with that tot he endpart at 4.40 minutes. So I feel like you have told a story with the arrangement and it gives the oppertunity to fill in that story with your own feelings. That is nice. If I could give 2 points of criticism:
-productionwise I feel like sometimes the piano comes in a bit too harsh / loud sounding.
-The transition at 3.00 minutes feels a bit out of place. The note that is being played there doesn’t seem to fit the rest of the melody. For me it feels a bit distracting.

Ike H-mope
The sparse arrangement is what makes this song great. No unnecessary parts that could have got in the way of the most important element for me in this song and that is the vocal. Although I like the dry sound of the strings I do feel like you could have added some extra verb (room?) to make it sound less artificial. At 1.59 there is a ‘stop’ and the strings are cut off abruptly….a litte bit of a reverb tail could help there. One other thing I would like to mention for further improving your song is that the lyrics somethimes are missing some flow. Like the text doesn’t fit the songsmetrum.

Elcubano
Like I wrote earlier , I like this song. It has a great feel, lots of things going on. Guitarplaying is good! The drums fit nicely in the mix. I also like the fact that you gave us some insight in your inspiration for the track, that gives some story to the composition. At around 2.30 minutes the arrangement gets a bit too bussy for my taste….could use actually some room to breath there in an already crowded arrangement. After that I feel like there could be something more of a climax. I am missing something there in the end of the song. Maybe some variation in the drums of guitarpart…..not sure.

EsteveCorbera
I think Vangelis would have liked this very much. What a beautifull song. I used to listen to Vangelis when i was young, this definitely reminds me of his music. Dreamy, spacy. I must confess that I was hoping a beat / drum (other then the single cymbal at around 5.44 min) at the end of the song. I think this compostion could use that. I like the Christmass spirit with the bell sounds. I do think the mix is a bit sharp sounding sometimes. But that is just a mix thing….has nothing to do with the song itself.

Paramnesia
What a great song. I was blown away with this song. The fact that you collaborated with PonySho is very cool and worked magic.
The chorus hits hard. It has a very sticky melody….was in my head for several days The vocals and guitars are absolutely great. This sounds like a professional band (although i know it is not a band). My compliments. The whole composition fits. Can’t find a thing to give you as a tip other then that I think the mix needs some more work…. If you ever need a sologuitarist for your productions…let me know.

Becsei gyorgy
The ‘80s beat sounds very good in combination with the synths. The double vocal in the chorus is a known production trick that works very good in this song. There is enough variation to keep the song interesting. The break at 2.40 comes at the right moment before things could get predictable. I think overall a good production, nice song, good use of the Synth vocal . I do have a feeling that sometimes the vocal could use a de-esser. At least on my headphones.

BenjiRage
Now that is a catchy song. The backing vocaltrack gives an atmospheric sound in the first verse and chorus. Your production is realy good. Compositionwise and mixtechnique. The guitarsound fits the song really well and is for me the most importantpart of the feel of the song (although the drums drive the song fantastic). One of the best songs this month. My compliments. Nothing to complain about…..altough….I would have liked it if the song was a bit longer , now I have to listen to it twice.

Koekepan
Hi Koekepan (sidenote: what a great forumname by the way).
Very impressive., an 8 minute song with great sounds….almost like a long soundscape .I can really enjoy listening to this. I do miss some more defined structure. But that is more a personal thing. I must say it is very relaxing to listen to……after 8 minutes it was like 1 hour yoga

Vanilla Puff
This is a very funky song. Like I wrote earlier, the bass is really driving the song. Sometmes it reminded me of a daftpunk sound. That is a compliment by the way. It is a repetive songstructure but the way the sounds are layered prevent it from becoming boring. You say that you feel that you only created an invitational part. I understand your feeling and that might not have been what you where aiming for when you started writing the music. But the way I see it (or listen to it in this case) is that in a club on the dancefloor you don’t need too much extra .The beat is there, the bass is there, the atmosphere and vibe is there. I think it could actually work like this. Anyway, I am curious with what you would come up with if you take your time with this song but I like it already.

ThomC
Another beautifull song. Goosebumps. I could really feel this one. The combination of the ‘background choir’, strings and piano and how they interact with each other is amazing. It is like the instruments are dancing with each other…..wow. This song felt way too short….I wanted it to keep going.

PonySho
The rawness of the recording contributes to the feel of the song and the lyrics. Your singing is very very good. The song is a rough diamond I think…..but I like it this way. Don’t polish it too much…you might loose the feel. The backing vocals are nice too, didn’t expect them….but sound amazing. The bass might be a bit too prominent in the mix….not that you should hide it in the mix…but now sometimes it overshadows the vocal a bit.

DavidB
When the bass comes in…wow….that is a very cool start of the song. The rythmic effects in the synth sound makes this very interesting to listen to. At 1.50 the drop and the dubstep / DnB sound is realy cool. This might be one of my favorite tracks this month. Btw the mix is also professional. Great work!

My personal top 5

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1. Paramnesia
2. ThomC
3. BenjiRage
4. VanillaPuff
5. Dasein